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Addiction Question

Old 07-08-2011, 05:06 AM
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Addiction Question

Hello all - I've been a lurker here for the past year, hoping to gain some strength from others but honestly been pretty passive about quitting drinking. I've never really thought I was so deep that I had a true addiction problem. However, the past few months I've had trouble sleeping occasionally - night sweats followed by the chills, all night, resulting in my bed being almost soaked. I recently noticed (maybe the past two-three times this has happened) that it happens on the first sober night after a several-night bender. For example, this happened on Wednesday night (7/6), my first sober night after 7 consecutive nights drinking.

Am I experiencing withdrawl symptoms, and if so, does that mean I am in fact addicted??
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Old 07-08-2011, 05:13 AM
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Yes, this sounds like withdrawal symptoms. And yes, that would mean that you have a physical addication.

The withdrawal symptoms will get worse as alcoholism is a progressive disease.
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Old 07-08-2011, 05:38 AM
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That's what I was afraid of. I guess I thought that because I usually don't drink every day, that I can go a few days without, that I wasn't physically addicted. I always thought I was psychologically addicted, but not physically. This is scary.

I just called my husband at work and for the first time revealed to him how much I actually do drink and asked him for his help. He was shocked - bad sign that I was able to hide it so well.
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Old 07-08-2011, 05:48 AM
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Hiding it is another sign that a person might have a problem. Welcome to Sober Recovery!
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Old 07-08-2011, 05:52 AM
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Well, I didn't deliberately "hide it". I guess I don't act too much differently when I'm buzzed or drunk. When I told him it was no big deal for me to drink an entire bottle plus more of wine on an average night, he was pretty surprised. I guess he never paid much attention. Or he's in denial. . .
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Old 07-08-2011, 06:25 AM
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Welcome landminegirl. Glad you're here and glad your spouse will be supportive.

We, as alcoholics, are also wanting to stay in denial of how much we need to drink. You may have been subconsciously hiding it. Keeping the glass always half full, keeping a spare (just in case) -others really don't realize how much we consume unless they 'watch'. My ex was shocked at how much booze I could consume and still function and get my chores done.

Wishing you peace and strength.
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Old 07-08-2011, 06:31 AM
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I'm glad you've decided to post and are seeking support for your addiction.
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Old 07-08-2011, 10:24 AM
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I dunno that it matters whether you're "addicted" or not. One thing IS for sure though, you're having issues related to your drinking that "normal drinkers" don't experience.

Whether you're an alcoholic or not is another question...and it's not one that can be answered by looking at the consequences of your drinking. When you start, do you usually want more......to keep going.......and is your experience that you usually DO keep drinking.......even when you planned to NOT drink that much? When you decided to lay off.....can you stick to it every time......or do you usually find a reason/excuse to pick up again? And finally, when you do manage to get/stay dry.....how's the rest of your life? Did the problems/issues in your life stop when you stopped drinking or does it seem to be the same ol crap.......only you're not drinking?

The first one especially, the physical craving for more alcohol once some is ingested, is NEVER found in "normal" drinkers. The second one speaks to the mental obsession. Normal drinkers also have the ability to control when they drink....whereas someone like me will find themselves drinking in all sorts of situations where we planned to NOT drink.... it's almost like catching yourself drinking against your own will. The last one speaks to the "spiritual malady."

And finally....... the grand-daddy of them all...... can you quit on a non-spiritual basis. In other words, can you quit on your own and/or with group/friend/family/professional help. Many of us can....but many of us can't. For those that can't quit even WITH the help and support of others.....well...that's what AA was designed to work for.
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Old 07-08-2011, 10:40 AM
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Congratulations, landminesgirl. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and ask for help. I hope that once your husband gets over his shock and confusion (and possibly anger), he'll be a good support for you.

What do you plan to do now?
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Old 07-08-2011, 10:41 AM
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"When you start, do you usually want more......to keep going.......and is your experience that you usually DO keep drinking.......even when you planned to NOT drink that much?"

Yep - exactly what happens almost every time. *That* I think is my biggest problem. I can't just have 1. I think it's because I like feeling buzzed. But I almost always cross the line beyond buzzed to drunk.
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Old 07-08-2011, 10:42 AM
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"What do you plan to do now?"

Good question, I don't know. I think I should try AA again.
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Old 07-08-2011, 10:45 AM
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So you've been to AA before then? It's a good place to start. You can also make an appointment with an addiction specialist to have an evaluation. They'll be able to make further recommendations about options. Many of us here have done inpatient or outpatient treatment along with and then followed by AA.
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Old 07-08-2011, 10:53 AM
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I did try AA a few years ago when I lived in Chicago. I recognized I had a problem after I gave my infant baby boy a bath after 3+ glasses of wine. I don't even remember putting him in bed. Seriously, I'm so lucky (blessed) that nothing has happened to my kids as a result of my drinking.

I didn't continue - I just didn't feel like I could relate to the group. There were maybe 8 people, all who seemed to have much deeper addiction (drugs, etc.) and who lost houses, families, jobs because of their addictions. I felt a great deal of sympathy, but I also felt that I didn't belong.
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Old 07-08-2011, 10:58 AM
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I didn't think I was an alcoholic because I only went out on weekends or once or twice a month...but when I did go out I did it until I was blacked out.

The thing that really made me realize I was an alcoholic was and is that I can't see the point in me having one drink, I drink to get DRUNK!!! So I figured, hey why not just not take that first drink??

You can do it!

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Old 07-08-2011, 11:02 AM
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Landmine, trying AA again sounds like a good idea, and you can also consider some of the other groups too, if they exist in your area.

It doesn't surprise me that your husband was a little floored about the quantity of drinking you have done or been doing. People have mentioned here in the past that it's common for women to be the ones who hide it in the home more than men, deliberately or not. Another thing that I have noticed here is that relationships can go through a strain when the person with the problem quits and then embarks upon their improvement. For some reason that can present itself as "change" in the relationship, and sometimes that isn't good. (Sometimes people are happier when the problem drinker drinks!) I don't have any advice on that, other than to say that communication is important.

I would say not to let anyone ever tell you that the amount you drink or the frequency determines whether you are an addict of alcohol or not. People have discovered they had a problem late in life and didn't need to drink a case of something every day. I suppose it's more common for an addict to be an everyday and heavy drinker (and that's what I was eventually), but that need not be the only feather to the flock. I started out as a partier and weekend drinker until I realized there was something "medicinal" in the drinking for me, and it managed to keep bordeom away and to eliminate the need for things like "hope" and a lot of things that are second nature to most people. Anyway, point being, for some people it's a journey that changes over time.

Also, I would say not to listen to people who say you need to hit a rock bottom and an extremely low one in order to be successful in quitting and staying that way. Some people call it being someone with a "high bottom" - meaning they weren't THAT bad when they need to quit (whatever THAT bad is). I would agree that it takes a person reaching a sufficient amount of pain, inside or outside, in order to make quitting work; in order to WANT to quit enough to begin with, in fact. But it's simply not true that a person needs to be within an inch of death to want to stop and to manage to stop. Sometimes people need to hold contests with one another on who had it the worst and who came through from the farthest away. Avoid those.

Good luck and keep going with what you've started.
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Old 07-08-2011, 12:05 PM
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Old 07-08-2011, 12:59 PM
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Welcome L-M-G...

Sounds like W/D to me.
Can't say whether or not your addicted, but most non-alcoholics don't experience this.
Welcome to SR.

If you are thinking of quitting, I'd see your doctor first. Usually the W/D gets worse before it gets better. Your doctor has ways to control this.

Good luck to you,
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Old 07-08-2011, 01:01 PM
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Originally Posted by landminesgirl View Post
Seriously, I'm so lucky (blessed) that nothing has happened to my kids as a result of my drinking.

.
...yet

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Old 07-08-2011, 01:54 PM
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Welcome landminegirl

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