New here and want today to be Day 1
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 171
New here and want today to be Day 1
Hello! I just came across this board and want to introduce myself. I am an alcoholic and have recently decided I want to stop drinking. I can't do moderation it just doesn't work no matter how bad I'd like to do that. I just can't moderate. I can't really tell you why I drink I just like to drink and like the buzz feeling. However, I don't stop at buzz I go until I pass out 
I have a husband and a wonderful little girl who turns 5 next month. I want to stop not only for myself but for them as well. I don't want my little girl to remember her mom drunk all the time. Even though usually I don't get drunk drunk until after she is in bed.
I had a fleeting thought of me maybe being able to moderate since the last two days I have had a few drinks but not gotten drunk. But I know better.
I really want today to be day 1 but right now I'm fighting an internal battle of heading to the liquor store for wine (that I would hide from my husband). I keep telling myself I could start another day but I don't want to start another day. My head is really trying to steer me in the wrong direction.
How do you win? What can I do?
I have a husband and a wonderful little girl who turns 5 next month. I want to stop not only for myself but for them as well. I don't want my little girl to remember her mom drunk all the time. Even though usually I don't get drunk drunk until after she is in bed.
I had a fleeting thought of me maybe being able to moderate since the last two days I have had a few drinks but not gotten drunk. But I know better.
I really want today to be day 1 but right now I'm fighting an internal battle of heading to the liquor store for wine (that I would hide from my husband). I keep telling myself I could start another day but I don't want to start another day. My head is really trying to steer me in the wrong direction.
How do you win? What can I do?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
Stick with your decision to not drink today.
Don't go to the liquor store and get rid of any alcohol in the house.
I used to hide my drinking (as much as possible) from my husband, so I had to figure out something to do when he was away in the evenings or on business. It really helped me to do that.
You can do this!
Don't go to the liquor store and get rid of any alcohol in the house.
I used to hide my drinking (as much as possible) from my husband, so I had to figure out something to do when he was away in the evenings or on business. It really helped me to do that.
You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 274
Welcome to SR Cleareyes,
You will find plenty of support and info here, you have taken the first step by reaching out and this is huge!
You ask how did I win, I tell you it was a lot of hard work but believe me it's so worth it.
The key for me was not to expect miracles, I had to take ACTION! I had to get out there and actually do some stuff in recovery in order to start felling better about myself.
I'd suggest you find a support system whether it's AA meeting or counseling, or look in our alcoholism form and at the top of it there is a sticky with a list of different recovery programs. Pick one from the list if it isn't the one for you pick another. Just do something to help yourself.
And one more thing i just remember, what ever plan you pick, put All your Heart and Soul and Energy into it, and over time you will find it so much easier.
Stick around, keep reading and posting...
You will find plenty of support and info here, you have taken the first step by reaching out and this is huge!
You ask how did I win, I tell you it was a lot of hard work but believe me it's so worth it.
The key for me was not to expect miracles, I had to take ACTION! I had to get out there and actually do some stuff in recovery in order to start felling better about myself.
I'd suggest you find a support system whether it's AA meeting or counseling, or look in our alcoholism form and at the top of it there is a sticky with a list of different recovery programs. Pick one from the list if it isn't the one for you pick another. Just do something to help yourself.
And one more thing i just remember, what ever plan you pick, put All your Heart and Soul and Energy into it, and over time you will find it so much easier.
Stick around, keep reading and posting...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Welcome Cleareyes,
SR has been a real life-saver the last 15 months. I can really relate to the whole "moderation" debate you refer to. Wasted a lot of years trying to convince my hard-headed self this was possible, but have totally given up on that insanity.
You'll find a lot of support here.
What Roadr440 said is so, sooo true:
And one more thing i just remember, what ever plan you pick, put All your Heart and Soul and Energy into it, and over time you will find it so much easier.
SR has been a real life-saver the last 15 months. I can really relate to the whole "moderation" debate you refer to. Wasted a lot of years trying to convince my hard-headed self this was possible, but have totally given up on that insanity.
You'll find a lot of support here.
What Roadr440 said is so, sooo true:
And one more thing i just remember, what ever plan you pick, put All your Heart and Soul and Energy into it, and over time you will find it so much easier.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our recovery community.....
All my best as you and your family begin a sober life...
I've yet to meet an adult who were proud and happy their parents were drinkers.
All my best as you and your family begin a sober life...
I've yet to meet an adult who were proud and happy their parents were drinkers.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,347
Welcome cleareyes 
There's a lot of options from groups like AA and SMART, to counselling, inpatient or outpatient rehab.
A lot of people find seeing a Dr is a good first step.
What I did was plug myself in here and make a commitment daily not to drink...gradually using the support and suggestions I found here I began to change my life
I know you'll find a lot of support here too.
Welcome aboard
D
There's a lot of options from groups like AA and SMART, to counselling, inpatient or outpatient rehab.
A lot of people find seeing a Dr is a good first step.
What I did was plug myself in here and make a commitment daily not to drink...gradually using the support and suggestions I found here I began to change my life
I know you'll find a lot of support here too.
Welcome aboard
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 426
Hi Cleareyes - I did the same thing you just did about a month ago. Since logging on here and making a commitment - I haven't had a drink (and I was a wine-drinker-hider too). My depression and anxiety were out of control and I was very unhappy.
I have stuck to this forum religiously and have told myself every day "today I will not drink". I feel better and have some control of my life. You can do this too!!! I am still new in the game, but the game appears to be one in which I can participate, finally.
I have learned so much here and have interacted with many amazing people. Stay here and read stories and post. You can do it! Congrats on making the step. You have a ton of support here.
I have stuck to this forum religiously and have told myself every day "today I will not drink". I feel better and have some control of my life. You can do this too!!! I am still new in the game, but the game appears to be one in which I can participate, finally.
I have learned so much here and have interacted with many amazing people. Stay here and read stories and post. You can do it! Congrats on making the step. You have a ton of support here.
MIND OF DESTRUCTIVE TASTE
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 744
Hi Cleareyes! Welcome to SR - great support, encouragement and love here
Face to face support along with SR has been a lifesaver for me, esp. being so new into my recovery from pain pills. I am also a recovering alcoholic. My face to face support involves a therapist, psychiatrist and psychologist - so helpful being that I am dual diagnosis.
AA/NA is a great option for a lot of people but they aren't my cup of tea. There are other alternatives that Dee mentioned as well.
Take care of yourself and hope to see you posting
-Jess
Face to face support along with SR has been a lifesaver for me, esp. being so new into my recovery from pain pills. I am also a recovering alcoholic. My face to face support involves a therapist, psychiatrist and psychologist - so helpful being that I am dual diagnosis.
AA/NA is a great option for a lot of people but they aren't my cup of tea. There are other alternatives that Dee mentioned as well.
Take care of yourself and hope to see you posting
-Jess
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 5
Hi Cleareyes,
I started my day 1 the same day as you. I am 3 days in and 3 days sober.
I know how hard it can be when you want to stop, however you don't know if you can, and then you have the anxiety of making sure you have enough wine on hand to get you through the day/night.
I hope you are staying strong and using this forum for support.
I was scared to death, and only this morning told my bf of my decision to stop drinking.
My heart goes out to you and your family. I too have children; and it hurts sooooo bad when you say to them "No, we will have to do that another time....blah, blah, blah." and they come back with ...."NO you won't, you never remember."
Don't let that happen to you.
Please let us know how you are feeling.
I started my day 1 the same day as you. I am 3 days in and 3 days sober.
I know how hard it can be when you want to stop, however you don't know if you can, and then you have the anxiety of making sure you have enough wine on hand to get you through the day/night.
I hope you are staying strong and using this forum for support.
I was scared to death, and only this morning told my bf of my decision to stop drinking.
My heart goes out to you and your family. I too have children; and it hurts sooooo bad when you say to them "No, we will have to do that another time....blah, blah, blah." and they come back with ...."NO you won't, you never remember."
Don't let that happen to you.
Please let us know how you are feeling.
to SR.
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