Soberpotamus

Ok, I'm sitting in my vehicle in the parking lot of the local mental health center. They have an outpatient addiction program with group therapy, from what I understand. And of course, individual counseling.

I'm self-employed and uninsured. That's why I'm here... because of financial limitations. I really dread the whole process of what I'm about to maneuver through... I am college educated (in philosophy and ironically, psychology). I've been in therapy before when I did have insurance, so I know what it's like to have the benefit of a really great therapist.

I'm not thrilled to be in this position... yet I'm trying to set aside my doubts and not be a complete snob.

What the hell should I do??

Side note: I am going to my first face-to-face WFS (Women For Sobriety) meeting this Thursday. Should I just stick with that for now and decide on the counseling later? I don't want to sabotage myself by my own cynicism toward the county mental health system and it's limitations.

But I don't want to limit my own recovery either, no matter my own educational or intellectual background.

Thoughts and suggestions please...

Anna

I think you should do whatever it takes for you to stop drinking and recover.

Alcoholism is a relentless and deadly disease, so if you think something might help you, then go for it.

Soberpotamus

Thanks Anna. For what it's worth, I'm out of the immediate danger zone as far as picking up a bottle of wine and taking a drink. I'm set in my mind to stop. I'm past that point.

I just wonder how effective this type of lesser quality therapy really is going to be for me at this point? Maybe there's a kick-a** dynamic therapist there for all I know, although I'm not thinking that's likely. Many people there don't even pay for the services... how could it be that good?

I just wondered if anyone had experience in a low fee VA/County Mental Health Clinic type setting, and if it was worth it...

Terminally Unique

Therapy didn't do much for my drinking, and I was paying for it. :-)

nandm

My experience with county mental health systems are rather personal. I have friends who have worked in or do currently work in these systems. I in no way consider them providing "lesser quality therapy". They keep up with current practices and work in these systems to give back and help those who can not afford services. I think you will find most people who work in these systems are not there because they are less than but because they care more than others may. I would encourage you to set aside your prejudices and give them a chance. Then make up your own mind based on experience.

Soberpotamus

I have WFS meetings for my drinking. I have emotional underlying issues, AVRT. I'm possibly a dual diagnosis and drank because of it. It's more complicated than rationalizing my way out of everything... as much as I value RR and CBT...

I'm using a wholistic approach to my recovery: WFS meetings online and f2f, individual & group therapy for addiction and otherwise, and online forums... nutrition, exercise etc.

Soberpotamus

finally, something i can use. thanks.

Terminally Unique

They may certainly be able to help you with other issues besides the drinking.

silly

I agree with nandm. Just because it's a free/low fee service, doesn't mean the staff isn't caring or professional. Some of the brightest and most educated people in this world work for non profit organizations that help lower income citizens.

If it's free or low cost, why NOT try it? Why try to rationalize why it won't work or be good enough?

Good luck. I hope you took that step and walked through the doors.

wellwisher

I went into a county run in-patient rehab in 1994. It was a ninety day program, and from there, I went to an outpatient alcohol treatment center, in support of my AA attendance. I cannot say enough about the treatment I received, and quite frankly, it was my only option at the time. My brother, on the other hand, went to a thirty day program that his union medical insurance paid for, and he ate quite a bit better than I did; but his treatment was really no different than mine when it came to getting sober.

My SO went through the VA system over thirty years ago for heroin addiction, and his treatment solved that problem. He is still involved in the VA system (Vietnam Veteran) and again, I cannot say enough about their medical services.

I think when one is ready to get sober, they will go to any extent to obtain sobriety. That is truly the basis for long-term sobriety.

I don't pay for AA, and that was the program that got me sober.

Soberpotamus

right on. i'm there.

Soberpotamus

Update: I now have an appt for later this month at the county mental health clinic. I'm going to talk with a counselor about their group therapy for substance abuse as well as individual therapy. I'm happy I did it!

I'll go in with an open mind hopefully, and just go from there... If I think it's not for me, well, at least I tried. I've had zero urges since 6/28/11 and feeling rather grounded, so all is well for now...

IndaMiricale

Yea:ghug3

I so glad to hear you put down some of those thoughts and take help where you can

I am so with Nandm, I am anxiously waiting to hear about tomorrow!!!!!

Keep it up , we can do this

wpainterw

HI SoberJennie! First of all let me congratulate you on the icon with the little guys jumping on springs. Very cool indeed!
Secondly, I agree with others on the website who suggest that the main objective is to stop drinking and to do whatever it takes to do that. As you say, there are lots of alternatives, lots of "explanations" of "why" a person drinks, maybe as many explanations as there are alcoholics. But the main thing, perhaps the "only thing" (as Yogi Berra would say) is to stop. My own experience was that years and years of expensive "counseling" with psychiatrists and counselors didn't get me to stop and in a way arguably reinforced my denial in persuading me to say to myself and others that I was "really doing something" to stop- "Look! I'm going to all this counseling", etc. etc. What got me to stop? When things got to the point that I might be suffering irreversible liver damage that got my attention. A real wake up call when a nurse told me that she'd watched folks die of cancer and other folks die of liver disease and that she'd take cancer any day over watching how they suffered with liver disease. So I entered a rehab for 30 days and they got me going with AA. I had some issues with AA but stuck with it, largely with an Agnostics group and have not had a drink for 23 years. So for me the bottom line is that some kind of group support was essential. It didn't have to be AA but for me it was. Also I am very wary of any program which maintains that alcoholics can be "taught" to drink "sensibly". A few folks may be able to do that but I know one thing. I can't do that. Good luck.

W.

Soberpotamus

Thanks Painter, I really do appreciate you sharing that information with me about how you did it.

The reason I really think group would help me is because I've isolated myself through drinking... so sharing face-to-face with people should be good for me, I'd think.

Zencat

Here you are at a new community, cyber, electronic community that has helped the most desperate of of real, false, middle earth, cyborg...okay. Addicts to regain control of what direction ones/your will be.

Its not a foggy mystery, an included complexity with points of blind endings...nope. Its freedom from your volition, want, necessity...will.

Believe as many deception as it takes to drive the singular truth home and hurting...you are responsible of your, actions, deceits, transgressions and beyond all that crap...wellness/soberity.

There is and end, you alone will know if it is effectuate.

BackToSquareOne

Jenny, one thing you'll find out about the clinics in general is that they often have new doctors just starting out. At first blush this sounds like a disadvantage but quite to the contrary they often try a lot harder, are much more open-minded and will often go that extra mile which can mean a lot. You're a smart person so you'll know if what they have to offer works for you or not.

wpainterw

Good luck Jennie! For me the important thing was to stop drinking. Sometimes I would be tempted to spend a lot of time trying to find out what made me drink, what "alcoholism" was, read lots of books, etc., etc. But all the time I seemed to be missing the main point, maybe intentionally missing it, that is on the subconscious level, the main point being to stop drinking. And, because there may be as many different kinds of alcoholism as there are different kinds of alcoholics, what works for one person may not be what works for another. But whatever seems to work, then that's what's needed. And to find out what stuff works, the thing I should have been thinking about all those wasted years was the need for complete honesty, both with myself and with others. That's easier said than done since complete honesty is anathema to the something inside that wants to keep drinking. What helped me out was being in a group of other alcoholics, since it's very hard not to be honest when you're in a group of persons who spent years lying to themselves and to others. They'll spot your dishonesty in a minute and remind you of it, hopefully in a caring and compassionate fashion. So maybe an answer is a group and a focus on complete honesty. Meditate on honesty, maybe like they do in yoga, like it was a mantra, and this may be a way out. Good luck.

W.

Kjell

Hi SJ-

Keep in mind that it was your thinking that got you into this mess. I say that as someone who did the same thing.

Go, try new things, even if you're alcoholic mind is telling you not to. If you get scared, then do it scared.

I had to change who I was of the same me will drink again and again and again.

Maybe it's time to let go of some old ideas?

Kjell~

michelle01

I see a private psychiatrist, in between though I have a psychologist in the public health system and she is excellent. I've been in so many hospitals and through so many doctors, I know therapy talk fairly back to front and after awhile found myself bluffing my way through sessions, I felt I could say what they wanted to hear, eventually I stopped going to any therapy during my worst phase.

When I went back, I knew if it was to have any effect, I had to come clean, drop the pretensions that had become such a habit. Field experience I think is as important as academic credentials. I met a doctor once who had done many scholarly papers, was head of a campus department... and our session went nowhere, in the end even he seemed to admit that it was pointless and he didn't know where to go with it.

You can't really discount anything in recovery, I've often found great things from the least likely seeming sources. I guess it's all taught me to be more open minded, and to appreciate that learning and growth forever continues.