kalikokat

I'm recently self-diagnosed (and confirmed with my therapist) that I'm a misery addict. I've been reading Anne Katherine's book "When Misery is Company" and it is me unlike any other self-help book I've read to date...I'm a self-sabotager, and being happy and progressing in life are incredibly uncomfortable for me. And it's manifested itself to a degree that, 2 years ago, I attempted suicide, I've reached a point in my life where I have very few friends...I feel like I've pushed all of my friends out of my life. I don't think my family wants to be around me. Despite the fact that they don't corroborate this, I still believe I've burned all of the bridges in my family by being simply a miserable person in general. I don't feel like people want to be around me.

There is no question in my mind that I have a problem. And inside, I feel it is blacker than black. In essence, there is much joy in the world to be seen and experienced, but I cannot experience it. I won't allow myself to. Because I am not worth it. You see. It is a terrible affliction.

I've been in therapy for years. And years. Since I was 17, and I'm 32 now. Off and on and off and on. I take four medications, and still I am depressed and miserable.

The reason I am here, is because I am incredibly afraid of the recovery process. I've watched with some strange fascination all of the episodes of "Intervention" on tv and part of me thinks it's not me I'm looking at. And part of me thinks it IS ME. But it is the loss of control that scares me. I am giving up all of my control, and to who? I just don't know if I can do it. I've seen the counselors on the show and I see the poor assumptions they make and how they try to convince the patients that they are "out of line" when I don't see that they are. This really bothers me.

What is the recovery process like? Are there other misery addicts out there?

nandm

Welcome to SR. Glad you are here.

I personally do not have any experience to share as far as misery recovery goes but am sure with as many people as we have here someone will be along shortly to share.

As far as what the recovery process is like it differs from problem to problem and recovery program to recovery program. Nothing is set in stone from what I can see. I personally am an alcoholic and until I came across the program of AA I was not able to recover. But there are also many alcoholics here who have used other recovery programs and have been successful. I really don't have any experience with other methods of recovery.

IndaMiricale

Yes welcome

I dont have to much experiance in the process of recovery other than the 14days I have just been through. I am 39 and have never been sober since I was about 17. Except 3day here 3 days there and 17 days, all jail time for dui's.

But what I can tell you is when I was released from the hospital after detoxing terribly, I called one friend I knew was in the AA program. So after I rested two days I hesitently called him and asked when he was going to a meeting.


Didnt know what was about to happen,but since I have attended one every day , oops I did miss one night so I read a lot of the Big Book to help. Its been 9 meetings in 10 days I know now I would not make it on my own. Although was tough for the most part when I am there and after I leave I feel real good in my soul. I have a lot to work on but I look foward to living a happy,joyous , and free life again like when I was young.

So in short its scary to give all what we know away but we get a new chance, more than some ever had , lets do it togather

IndaMiricale

Keep comin back we can beat whatever it is toghather