Booze, Bombs and Billies
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Booze, Bombs and Billies
I love July 4th for many reasons. I love taking my kids to the parade, seeing the Veterans, military folks, the Lions Club guys in their funny cars. In the Midwest where I live, we have a lot of farmers and there are vintage tractors, driven by children barely able to reach the steering wheel.
I'm proud to be an American and here is the latest reason: the work that I do would get me disappeared in Yemen, or another restrictive nation. No free speech. No criticizing or challenging the government.
So I'm grateful I live here, even with the Government issues I fight to change. I'm proud of my family members who have served in the military and law enforcement.
But the combination of alcohol and fireworks, for weeks leading up to today, absolutely drives me crazy. I have so much anxiety about it. I spent every fourth of july watching idiotic, drunken family members blow up stuff. Obviously I did not feel safe in that family of origin anyway, but this was a highlight.
This is not my idea of patriotism: drunken, macho men performing amazingly stupid acts with firearms, explosives and usually motorized vehicles like a tractor. The best part is the ceremonial ridiculing of "wimmen" who would like to see some basic safety protections enacted. For me, this holiday is a reminder of how I fight to end systematic patriarchal dominance-and not only because of the unjust wars we've fought with other countries, but because of the common rite of passage in our country where men show boys how to prove their worth by teaching them utter disregard for life or compassion.
Compassion is seen as weakness. My father has actually told my sons, "Oh don't cry like a girl," and I mean when they were little. Like 9. Because, you know, it's bad to be a girl and acting like one will get you some serious disapproval. Good thing he had three daughters. We had to fight hard to become independent and sane after living with that ******* but we sure did.
My redneck neighbor, the one who's usually drunk and shirtless in his yard by noon every day, has announced it's his sons birthday and they'll be lighting fireworks in the street in front of my house, "till the cops come, and when they leave we'll be lighting some more."
I thanked him for his invitation, and was very proud of myself for just saying,"I don't know if we can make it but thank you for the invitation," instead of, "Actually, Scott, you top my list of ******* cretins and I will be calling the police at 10 pm sharp, if you haven't blown yourself up by then."
When I told the kids that alcohol and explosives don't mix, my 13 year old said, "alcohol doesn't mix well with anything."
and for that I'm grateful.
I'm proud to be an American and here is the latest reason: the work that I do would get me disappeared in Yemen, or another restrictive nation. No free speech. No criticizing or challenging the government.
So I'm grateful I live here, even with the Government issues I fight to change. I'm proud of my family members who have served in the military and law enforcement.
But the combination of alcohol and fireworks, for weeks leading up to today, absolutely drives me crazy. I have so much anxiety about it. I spent every fourth of july watching idiotic, drunken family members blow up stuff. Obviously I did not feel safe in that family of origin anyway, but this was a highlight.
This is not my idea of patriotism: drunken, macho men performing amazingly stupid acts with firearms, explosives and usually motorized vehicles like a tractor. The best part is the ceremonial ridiculing of "wimmen" who would like to see some basic safety protections enacted. For me, this holiday is a reminder of how I fight to end systematic patriarchal dominance-and not only because of the unjust wars we've fought with other countries, but because of the common rite of passage in our country where men show boys how to prove their worth by teaching them utter disregard for life or compassion.
Compassion is seen as weakness. My father has actually told my sons, "Oh don't cry like a girl," and I mean when they were little. Like 9. Because, you know, it's bad to be a girl and acting like one will get you some serious disapproval. Good thing he had three daughters. We had to fight hard to become independent and sane after living with that ******* but we sure did.
My redneck neighbor, the one who's usually drunk and shirtless in his yard by noon every day, has announced it's his sons birthday and they'll be lighting fireworks in the street in front of my house, "till the cops come, and when they leave we'll be lighting some more."
I thanked him for his invitation, and was very proud of myself for just saying,"I don't know if we can make it but thank you for the invitation," instead of, "Actually, Scott, you top my list of ******* cretins and I will be calling the police at 10 pm sharp, if you haven't blown yourself up by then."
When I told the kids that alcohol and explosives don't mix, my 13 year old said, "alcohol doesn't mix well with anything."
and for that I'm grateful.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
You have a smart kid 
Good post too!!
I spent my fourth with my boys and my brother and neice.
Snipet of history - my brother and I drank our fair share in our early adulthood. To much with stupid and dangerous behavior, wrecked cars, legal ramifications etc. He no longer drinks.
In years past the 4th was our family day. It was also xah's and I anniversary. Always to much drinking for my xah. : ( It was stressful.
This year we had a lot of fun. My boys were missing their dad and it helped a lot that my brother was here and he upped the fun factor about 150 notches because he is 'dangerous', haha. Best part - Alcohol FREE!!!! I actually noticed it and took a moment to really appreciate it more then once. It has been quite awhile since I split up with xah (almost 2yrs) and I still notice.
Good post too!!I spent my fourth with my boys and my brother and neice.
Snipet of history - my brother and I drank our fair share in our early adulthood. To much with stupid and dangerous behavior, wrecked cars, legal ramifications etc. He no longer drinks.
In years past the 4th was our family day. It was also xah's and I anniversary. Always to much drinking for my xah. : ( It was stressful.
This year we had a lot of fun. My boys were missing their dad and it helped a lot that my brother was here and he upped the fun factor about 150 notches because he is 'dangerous', haha. Best part - Alcohol FREE!!!! I actually noticed it and took a moment to really appreciate it more then once. It has been quite awhile since I split up with xah (almost 2yrs) and I still notice.
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Well I survived. Everyone in the neighborhood lined the streets to watch drunken morons light off explosives. I came inside with my youngest guy, took massive amounts of anti anxiety meds and watched a movie with him while my middle son watched the madness outside with his father.
I'm pretty sure the PTSD feeds that hysteria I feel when fireworks are being set off. Not the annual, go park in a field and watch the large disply fireworks, but the illegal kind of noise makers like firecrackers, etc. I hate it. It sounds like war.
I'm pretty sure the PTSD feeds that hysteria I feel when fireworks are being set off. Not the annual, go park in a field and watch the large disply fireworks, but the illegal kind of noise makers like firecrackers, etc. I hate it. It sounds like war.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: RI
Posts: 177
well my holiday was great....my backyard filled with crazy people..... many of them bikers who choose not to drink and ride! but all crazy just the same. my AH made it though the party with no problem! i wanted to cancel but he insisted we move ahead with it. the drinking was not out of control thank god. but the only ones lighting off fireworks were my teenaged nephews and their dad..... however, upon entering my car this morning i found remnants of gun powder on top of my hood! not happy about that!
oh, and transform, my AH is shirtless EVERY day in the yard.....is that a bad thing??
oh, and transform, my AH is shirtless EVERY day in the yard.....is that a bad thing??
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 741
Well, here's how my 4th went:
I worked all night the night of the 3rd and so laid down for a nap on the afternoon of the 4th cause I knew it was gonna be a late night. So, my XAH is over and knocks on the door and says, "Well, I guess I am gonna go to {insert bar name here} and play guitar tonight. I never get Monday nights away from watching the kids and I wanna hit the open mike there".
Now, we had talked several times about fireworks tonight - where we were going, where we were sitting, etc. Totally slipped his mind. Why?
Oh, right...because it wasn't an activity that was totally focused on him and his desires and wishes. It was something the kids and I wanted to do....got it.
So, I looked at him and said, "Well, the kids and I will be going to fireworks tonight. You can join us or not, as you choose" and rolled over and went back to resting.
The look on his face was priceless. It never occurred to him that there were fireworks that night - even though it has been a part of that holiday for, oh say 100+ years. It never occurred to him that the 4th is a day when families do stuff together. I can't even described the look on his face when he realized, that...yes...there might be fireworks tonight and he might actually be expected to attend. Like when a dog realizes they are in trouble for chewing on the couch cushions.
Whatever. I'm sorry to say I indulged in some passive aggressive behavior for the rest of the day - just being very curt and ultra polite, but still. At 6 PM we were getting ready to leave, because I wanted the kids to play at the park for a long time before the fireworks started because the weather had been so hot lately and they hadn't been outside. So at that point I was treated to an Explaination of How Time Works - i.e., did I know there were 3+ hours from our departure time until the fireworks started?
Why, yes - since among my minimal acheivements in life I did manage to graduate from kindergarten, I DO know how to tell time.
But we left and the kids had a great time. They got to play and play and play in the big sand pit while I got to cool down, listen to some music on the radio and read a little True Blood. Then they got involved in a pickup softball game and when dusk fell, we broke out the lightsticks. Fantasic show, a short drive home, hot dogs at 11 PM and a great night's sleep.
BooYah!
I worked all night the night of the 3rd and so laid down for a nap on the afternoon of the 4th cause I knew it was gonna be a late night. So, my XAH is over and knocks on the door and says, "Well, I guess I am gonna go to {insert bar name here} and play guitar tonight. I never get Monday nights away from watching the kids and I wanna hit the open mike there".
Now, we had talked several times about fireworks tonight - where we were going, where we were sitting, etc. Totally slipped his mind. Why?
Oh, right...because it wasn't an activity that was totally focused on him and his desires and wishes. It was something the kids and I wanted to do....got it.
So, I looked at him and said, "Well, the kids and I will be going to fireworks tonight. You can join us or not, as you choose" and rolled over and went back to resting.
The look on his face was priceless. It never occurred to him that there were fireworks that night - even though it has been a part of that holiday for, oh say 100+ years. It never occurred to him that the 4th is a day when families do stuff together. I can't even described the look on his face when he realized, that...yes...there might be fireworks tonight and he might actually be expected to attend. Like when a dog realizes they are in trouble for chewing on the couch cushions.
Whatever. I'm sorry to say I indulged in some passive aggressive behavior for the rest of the day - just being very curt and ultra polite, but still. At 6 PM we were getting ready to leave, because I wanted the kids to play at the park for a long time before the fireworks started because the weather had been so hot lately and they hadn't been outside. So at that point I was treated to an Explaination of How Time Works - i.e., did I know there were 3+ hours from our departure time until the fireworks started?
Why, yes - since among my minimal acheivements in life I did manage to graduate from kindergarten, I DO know how to tell time.
But we left and the kids had a great time. They got to play and play and play in the big sand pit while I got to cool down, listen to some music on the radio and read a little True Blood. Then they got involved in a pickup softball game and when dusk fell, we broke out the lightsticks. Fantasic show, a short drive home, hot dogs at 11 PM and a great night's sleep.
BooYah!
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
oh, and transform, my AH is shirtless EVERY day in the yard.....is that a bad thing??
You probably enjoy seeing your AH shirtless in your yard, and if you're happy with that, I'm happy.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
LOL! this thread cracked me up.
In my neck of the woods, fireworks are illegal within the city limits, plus its light out until 3am, then the sun comes back up at 6am, making firework displays rather pointless.
New Years tends to be much louder and rowdy. And dark.
In my neck of the woods, fireworks are illegal within the city limits, plus its light out until 3am, then the sun comes back up at 6am, making firework displays rather pointless.
New Years tends to be much louder and rowdy. And dark.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: RI
Posts: 177
Originally Posted by transformyself 
No Girl, as long as I don't live next door, with your drunken AH leaning over the fence to try to pick up my chihuahua and feed him to his own big stupid dog. Or letting off fireworks, still drunk, for about three weeks in the yard next to me while yelilng WA HOO DID YOU SEE THAT ONE?
You probably enjoy seeing your AH shirtless in your yard, and if you're happy with that, I'm happy.
You probably enjoy seeing your AH shirtless in your yard, and if you're happy with that, I'm happy.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
