new friend checking in
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: connecticut usa
Posts: 4
new friend checking in
stats:
52 yr old Caucasian male. Married (very unhappily) for 27 yrs. 3 grown sons. My business failed 2 yrs ago, but I maintain a small semblance of work to keep the brain and hands slightly busy.
I consumed 2-3 beers daily, followed by a typically very nice cabernet or bordeaux (the whole bottle). Little to no appetite for hard booze. I'm 5' 7" and 152 lbs, so I can't drink too much, but I certainly found my limit....every day.
4 months ago, I had a radical prostatectomy to remove an early stage prostate cancer. So, no sexy time for me, for who knows how long.
My wife has MS, is frigid, and her idea of a multiple orgasm is twice per decade. I am and have almost always been angry with her and consequently, I treat her like crap.
Last week, I said enough. Today (Saturday) is day 5 of sobriety. Counseling starts next friday (7/8/11).
I'm anxious, embarrassed, scared and sick of the ******** that has become my life.
I guess I'm here because the emotional and intellectual support I recieved on my prostate cancer blog (healing well) was so tremendous, that I thought I'd venture here to see what's what.
Thoughts? Advice?
Thanks in advance (I think).
D in CT
52 yr old Caucasian male. Married (very unhappily) for 27 yrs. 3 grown sons. My business failed 2 yrs ago, but I maintain a small semblance of work to keep the brain and hands slightly busy.
I consumed 2-3 beers daily, followed by a typically very nice cabernet or bordeaux (the whole bottle). Little to no appetite for hard booze. I'm 5' 7" and 152 lbs, so I can't drink too much, but I certainly found my limit....every day.
4 months ago, I had a radical prostatectomy to remove an early stage prostate cancer. So, no sexy time for me, for who knows how long.
My wife has MS, is frigid, and her idea of a multiple orgasm is twice per decade. I am and have almost always been angry with her and consequently, I treat her like crap.
Last week, I said enough. Today (Saturday) is day 5 of sobriety. Counseling starts next friday (7/8/11).
I'm anxious, embarrassed, scared and sick of the ******** that has become my life.
I guess I'm here because the emotional and intellectual support I recieved on my prostate cancer blog (healing well) was so tremendous, that I thought I'd venture here to see what's what.
Thoughts? Advice?
Thanks in advance (I think).
D in CT
Love, Light & Peace
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 50
Originally Posted by beerdad1 
I'm anxious, embarrassed, scared and sick of the ******** that has become my life.
I'm sorry to hear about all your troubles, both physically and emotionally, but CONGRATS on 5 (by now 6?) days of sobriety and that you're taking the right steps towards healing. Good luck with your counseling appointment...and keep checking in with us here!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 227
Originally Posted by beerdad1
I'm anxious, embarrassed, scared and sick of the ******** that has become my life.
In my very long week here on this board I have found it to be an amazing place to get support and sensible advice.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 377
Hey hey! Welcome to SR my friend!
Maybe blind to you right now, but you have just make the best choice in your entire life.
The first week is always hard as hell. I went though all sorts of garbage feelings in my first week. As well as 99% of the people here.
A few tips on what I did, or should have done.
- Anxiety: I had it bad. Scared of everything for no known reason. Jumpy, clammy, shaky, mind fatigue. All of that.
*What I did was just keep telling myself this is just a temporary feeling going towards a better life. And 2 months sober now, and I can tell you I was right
. But I recommend eating extremely healthy. Lots of vitamin B is what I'm told. Fish oil as well.
- Being Embarrassed: I was pretty recluse in my first month of quitting. I felt I had completely screwed up my life. Not many people even knew how bad I was. I hid my drinking problem pretty well. (at least I think I did lol)
*After 2 months, I now know I shouldn't feel ashamed. 99% of the people I know are actually proud of what I'm doing, and understand how hard it is. The people whom I felt most embarrassed to are actually some of my biggest supporters.
- Sick of your life: Well we all share that in common, or else we wouldn't have choose to change the path we were on.
*I'm finding out life is a LOT different when I'm sober, and Im pleased to report that the difference is a much better reality than the one I was in. This is something I cant fully explain until you experience it for yourself. But trust me! Its MUCH BETTER!
-Rest: Sleep sleep sleep! And sleep some more! I know its REAL hard to sleep in the early parts of recovery. But I cant express this enough. Your body needs it!
*I used to pass out drunk every night for years. And I mean DRUNK. Not just 1 or 2 drinks.. were talking a bottle of vodka a night. Im finding out I never really truly slept. When you passed out drunk, that's not good sleep. Its fake sleep really. So don't feel bad if you sleep more than you ever have in your life. Your not lazy. You body is simply finally getting the rest it needs.
There ya are. Just a few tips for someone who just made the best choice of their entire life! Stay strong, and believe me when I say this - Sober life feels amazing compared to when I was drinking all the time.
-Ryan
P.S. Oh last tip. Keep posting here. Even if its to shoot the breeze or let off some steam. I've been around here for 2 months, and this place wont judge ya. Good community here!
Maybe blind to you right now, but you have just make the best choice in your entire life.
The first week is always hard as hell. I went though all sorts of garbage feelings in my first week. As well as 99% of the people here.
A few tips on what I did, or should have done.
- Anxiety: I had it bad. Scared of everything for no known reason. Jumpy, clammy, shaky, mind fatigue. All of that.
*What I did was just keep telling myself this is just a temporary feeling going towards a better life. And 2 months sober now, and I can tell you I was right
. But I recommend eating extremely healthy. Lots of vitamin B is what I'm told. Fish oil as well.- Being Embarrassed: I was pretty recluse in my first month of quitting. I felt I had completely screwed up my life. Not many people even knew how bad I was. I hid my drinking problem pretty well. (at least I think I did lol)
*After 2 months, I now know I shouldn't feel ashamed. 99% of the people I know are actually proud of what I'm doing, and understand how hard it is. The people whom I felt most embarrassed to are actually some of my biggest supporters.
- Sick of your life: Well we all share that in common, or else we wouldn't have choose to change the path we were on.
*I'm finding out life is a LOT different when I'm sober, and Im pleased to report that the difference is a much better reality than the one I was in. This is something I cant fully explain until you experience it for yourself. But trust me! Its MUCH BETTER!
-Rest: Sleep sleep sleep! And sleep some more! I know its REAL hard to sleep in the early parts of recovery. But I cant express this enough. Your body needs it!
*I used to pass out drunk every night for years. And I mean DRUNK. Not just 1 or 2 drinks.. were talking a bottle of vodka a night. Im finding out I never really truly slept. When you passed out drunk, that's not good sleep. Its fake sleep really. So don't feel bad if you sleep more than you ever have in your life. Your not lazy. You body is simply finally getting the rest it needs.
There ya are. Just a few tips for someone who just made the best choice of their entire life! Stay strong, and believe me when I say this - Sober life feels amazing compared to when I was drinking all the time.
-Ryan
P.S. Oh last tip. Keep posting here. Even if its to shoot the breeze or let off some steam. I've been around here for 2 months, and this place wont judge ya. Good community here!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome...
I was your age when I finally quit drinking and committed myself to the AA program.
Since then....the past 22 years have been awesome....
Last week my cancer doctor released me...no more cancer after the 4 Cyber Knife surgeries.
They do not let drinkers have these procedures ..too risky.
Once again AA recovery saved my life...
I was your age when I finally quit drinking and committed myself to the AA program.
Since then....the past 22 years have been awesome....
Last week my cancer doctor released me...no more cancer after the 4 Cyber Knife surgeries.
They do not let drinkers have these procedures ..too risky.
Once again AA recovery saved my life...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: connecticut usa
Posts: 4
I guess I should change my sign in name, as I have now gone 7 days and 20 hours without consuming any alcohol.
FYI.....iced green tea goes thru you faster than beer, and I'm downing a gallon of that every day!
The 4th of July was a bitch. Beer was everywhere (except in me
)
The good news. I'm sleeping soundly all night through, my appetite is back with a vengeance and my mood has improved.
Sadly, I'm still jumpy, anxious and really would love a cold beer (or 8) on a day here where it is 90 degrees.
FYI.....iced green tea goes thru you faster than beer, and I'm downing a gallon of that every day!
The 4th of July was a bitch. Beer was everywhere (except in me
)The good news. I'm sleeping soundly all night through, my appetite is back with a vengeance and my mood has improved.
Sadly, I'm still jumpy, anxious and really would love a cold beer (or 8) on a day here where it is 90 degrees.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,921
Even though you are starting counseling, you might want to consider supplementing that with AA. The 12 steps can help you with a lot of issues in your life, including your marriage. I'm guessing that there was a time when you and your wife were deeply in love, now it sounds like your marriage is struggling. You admit you treat her like crap, it sounds like she responds in kind, it's a vicious circle. There is a song by the Clash that sorta fits here, "SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO." Doing the 12 steps might help you figure that one out.
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