I need your opinions on this please
Paused
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Galveston, Texas
Posts: 2
I need your opinions on this please
Someone tell me why they drink so much, and why my husband doesn't eat while he's drinking. He acts so stupid, singing, and then after ALOt of drinking, he starts to get mad about something totally stupid and he throws things. He doesn't drink and drive, but he just sits at home drinking until he can't walk. He has the radio blaring and sometimes he really nice to me, talking about how he loves me so much, and other times he is just mean. Talks about how fat I am and how I have let myself go, and so forth. Its just stupid, and Im sorry but I don't understand what is so great about getting drunk all the time. It seems so boring to me.
Someone please enlighten me, because I don't understand. I enjoy a few drinks occassionally, but still, okay he's addicted. But if someone showed me a video tape of how stupid I actedx I would never do it again. Not him...he just laughs!!!!!
Any Ideas? Would love to know... Me
Someone please enlighten me, because I don't understand. I enjoy a few drinks occassionally, but still, okay he's addicted. But if someone showed me a video tape of how stupid I actedx I would never do it again. Not him...he just laughs!!!!!
Any Ideas? Would love to know... Me
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Carrollton, Texas
Posts: 218
Oh my gosh Renae...first of all ... come here child and let me give you a hug....from the sound of your words I can tell you are hurting...and I am sorry for that. Why do they drink?? The question of the ages. I don't know. I know my son drinks because after a while his body threatens to shut down without alcohol. His addiction started several years ago..without my knowing..and now, without me being able to help.
I know that there are many on this very board that will be able to tell you chapter and verse about alcoholism and addiction...I am still to new at this myself. I can offer a shoulder and a hug...they can offer the facts and how to cope.
I know that there are many on this very board that will be able to tell you chapter and verse about alcoholism and addiction...I am still to new at this myself. I can offer a shoulder and a hug...they can offer the facts and how to cope.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
Hi Renae.
I wish I could answer that for you. Dino says he has used drugs as a place to escape from feeling bad about himself. When he's high or drunk he seems lulled at first, but then turns argumentative, surly and paranoid. He seems absolutely miserable. That's a hiding place? Seems like hiding from KP in a raging battlezone to me, but heck. I guess some people really hate KP.
Even if you could figure it out for him it probably wouldn't change him. Did you do anything nice for you today?
Hugs,
Smoke
I wish I could answer that for you. Dino says he has used drugs as a place to escape from feeling bad about himself. When he's high or drunk he seems lulled at first, but then turns argumentative, surly and paranoid. He seems absolutely miserable. That's a hiding place? Seems like hiding from KP in a raging battlezone to me, but heck. I guess some people really hate KP.
Even if you could figure it out for him it probably wouldn't change him. Did you do anything nice for you today?
Hugs,
Smoke
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: South
Posts: 7
mine too
Hi Renae-
I'm new here and I was going back though some older posts and read yours.
I just wanted to say what your hubby does sounds a lot like what mine does, except mine doesn't get angry or abusive. But he doesn't eat, blares the stereo (or he used to until my complaining finally caused him to get cordless headphones), gets really stupid and silly, and sometimes gets all sloppy and tells me how wonderful I am. (Gee, like that would turn me on, or something.) He used to stay up most of the night on Fridays and Saturdays but since we had a child he doesn't do it very much.
He says he doesn't eat because it would dull the buzz. Can't dilute that blood alcohol, you know. So many Fridays and Saturdays I have cooked a nice dinner for us but he won't eat it. I have gotten where I ask him "Are you eating or drinking your dinner tonight?"
I don't get it, either. If I have more than a couple of drinks my body virtually tells me "Hey, you're starting to poison me". I guess I am lucky I'm not a substance-addictive-type person. Some people are born with an "off" switch with regards to drugs and alcohol and some aren't, I guess.
I'm new here and I was going back though some older posts and read yours.
I just wanted to say what your hubby does sounds a lot like what mine does, except mine doesn't get angry or abusive. But he doesn't eat, blares the stereo (or he used to until my complaining finally caused him to get cordless headphones), gets really stupid and silly, and sometimes gets all sloppy and tells me how wonderful I am. (Gee, like that would turn me on, or something.) He used to stay up most of the night on Fridays and Saturdays but since we had a child he doesn't do it very much.
He says he doesn't eat because it would dull the buzz. Can't dilute that blood alcohol, you know. So many Fridays and Saturdays I have cooked a nice dinner for us but he won't eat it. I have gotten where I ask him "Are you eating or drinking your dinner tonight?"
I don't get it, either. If I have more than a couple of drinks my body virtually tells me "Hey, you're starting to poison me". I guess I am lucky I'm not a substance-addictive-type person. Some people are born with an "off" switch with regards to drugs and alcohol and some aren't, I guess.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: South
Posts: 7
forgot to add...
I wanted to add-- when I told him how my body will feel "poisoned" after more than a couple of drinks he said something like, "You are probably one of those people who is allergic to alcohol. I read that many women are. But most men can drink a lot more without it hurting their bodies." He really believes that, Yikes!!
Dancing To My Own Beat
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: I don't know what kind of state I'm in
Posts: 1,326
Alcoholism is the only disease that tells them they don't have a disease. Its not the fourth drink or the second drink that gets them. It's the first. In an alcoholic, the first drink creates the phenomenon of craving, or a compulsion. It doesn't happen every time, but if the alcoholic thinks they can someday drink "normally", it is guaranteed to happen. They are powerless to stop it at that point. No amount of will power can control or cure it. I don't know if this is the case for your husband, but if it is, it is just a disease. Try not having a cold when you have one. That's about how much power they have.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 91
Alcoholism is boring......and unkind. And the reason they drink so much is because they are alcoholics.
You're not.
We don't have to really understand totally. We can just accept that this is so.......
The next question is....how to take care of yourself with an alcoholic. Now that's a question we can really ponder on.
Keep asking.......
You're not.
We don't have to really understand totally. We can just accept that this is so.......
The next question is....how to take care of yourself with an alcoholic. Now that's a question we can really ponder on.
Keep asking.......
Paused
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 178
Hi there.....
Why do people drink?
Water, as is well known, is the best cure for thirst: people do not drink alcohol to quench their thirst. People can live without alcohol all their lives, but without water, hardly a day.
Why, then, do people use alcohol? It is after all a substance that causes many health hazards and social problems. Surely people don't drink to get themselves into trouble? One single, generally accepted reason for the use of alcohol has not been found. Explanations have been searched in the physical and mental structure of people as well as in society as a whole.
Alcohol has a direct influence on the brain. Many feel its immediate effect is positive and relieving, whereas others find it only numbing and tiring. The immediate, tension-relieving effect is certainly one important reason for drinking, although not the only one. High-scale consumption will before long have unpleasant consequences, like hangover and feelings of guilt.
Drinking can help you to forget the everyday troubles and conflicts for a while. Under the influence of alcohol, debts turn into receivables and low self-confidence is strengthened. But the effect passes quickly. Drinking does not solve practical problems, nor will it bolster your self-confidence. Still, alcohol is often used for relaxation and encouragement.
The use of alcohol, like any other habit, tends to become a continual habit. You drink, because you are used to drinking at a certain place and time in certain company: with Lahtinen at the country cottage on weekends, but not with your boss at work in the mornings. The rules of the community, the approval and disapproval of other people have a strong regulating effect on alcohol consumption.
Drinking in itself is not hereditary. The children of alcoholics do become alcoholized more frequently, but this may be because of the behavioural models of their parents, or because of the lack of security that is commonplace in alcohol families.
The Facts
Q: What is alcoholism?
A: Alcoholism is a disease. Your parent is not a bad person; he or she has a disease that makes him or her lose control when drinking. Alcoholism does that; when you drink too much, you do and say things that you normally wouldn't. Sometimes people do mean or stupid things that perhaps they would not do if they didn't drink.
Q: How does alcoholism start?
A: Doctors don't know all the reasons why people become alcoholics. Some start out drinking a little bit or using drugs and end up hooked on alcohol or other drugs. A person might drink to forget problems or to calm nerves but then end up needing alcohol to feel normal. Once a person loses control over drinking, he or she needs help to stop drinking.
Q: If the alcoholic is sick why doesn't he or she just go to the hospital?
A: At first, the alcoholic is not aware that he or she is ill. Even when the alcoholic becomes aware that something is wrong, he or she may not believe that alcohol is the problem. An alcoholic might keep blaming things on other people, on his or her job, or whatever. But, really, it's the alcohol that's the biggest problem.
Q: Is there an "average" alcoholic?
A: No. There is no such person as the average alcoholic. Alcoholics can be young, old, rich, poor, male, or female. People with alcoholism come from all races and ethnic populations.
Q: What is the cure for alcoholism?
A: There is no cure for alcoholism. People with alcoholism who have completely stopped drinking are called "recovering alcoholics." Recovering alcoholics can lead healthy, happy, productive lives.
Q: Can family members make an alcoholic stop drinking?
A: No. It is important to know that an alcoholic needs help to stop drinking, but no one can be forced to accept the help, no matter how hard you try or what you do. It is also important to know that family members by themselves cannot provide the help that an alcoholic needs. An alcoholic needs the help of people trained to treat the disease. You cannot control your parent's drinking. It is not your fault. Even if you hide the bottle or try to be perfect, you can't do anything about your parent's drinking. You are not the reason why your parent drinks. You did not cause the disease.
Q: How many children in the United States have at least one alcoholic parent?
A: About one in four children in our country are growing up with at least one parent who has alcoholism or is an alcohol abuser. There are probably a few kids with an alcoholic parent in your class right now. And remember, many adults grew up with alcoholic parents, too.
Remember the Seven Cs
I didn't Cause it.
I can't Cure it.
I can't Control it.
I can help take Care for myself by
Communicating my feelings,
Making healthy Choices, and
By Celebrating myself.
Water, as is well known, is the best cure for thirst: people do not drink alcohol to quench their thirst. People can live without alcohol all their lives, but without water, hardly a day.
Why, then, do people use alcohol? It is after all a substance that causes many health hazards and social problems. Surely people don't drink to get themselves into trouble? One single, generally accepted reason for the use of alcohol has not been found. Explanations have been searched in the physical and mental structure of people as well as in society as a whole.
Alcohol has a direct influence on the brain. Many feel its immediate effect is positive and relieving, whereas others find it only numbing and tiring. The immediate, tension-relieving effect is certainly one important reason for drinking, although not the only one. High-scale consumption will before long have unpleasant consequences, like hangover and feelings of guilt.
Drinking can help you to forget the everyday troubles and conflicts for a while. Under the influence of alcohol, debts turn into receivables and low self-confidence is strengthened. But the effect passes quickly. Drinking does not solve practical problems, nor will it bolster your self-confidence. Still, alcohol is often used for relaxation and encouragement.
The use of alcohol, like any other habit, tends to become a continual habit. You drink, because you are used to drinking at a certain place and time in certain company: with Lahtinen at the country cottage on weekends, but not with your boss at work in the mornings. The rules of the community, the approval and disapproval of other people have a strong regulating effect on alcohol consumption.
Drinking in itself is not hereditary. The children of alcoholics do become alcoholized more frequently, but this may be because of the behavioural models of their parents, or because of the lack of security that is commonplace in alcohol families.
The Facts
Q: What is alcoholism?
A: Alcoholism is a disease. Your parent is not a bad person; he or she has a disease that makes him or her lose control when drinking. Alcoholism does that; when you drink too much, you do and say things that you normally wouldn't. Sometimes people do mean or stupid things that perhaps they would not do if they didn't drink.
Q: How does alcoholism start?
A: Doctors don't know all the reasons why people become alcoholics. Some start out drinking a little bit or using drugs and end up hooked on alcohol or other drugs. A person might drink to forget problems or to calm nerves but then end up needing alcohol to feel normal. Once a person loses control over drinking, he or she needs help to stop drinking.
Q: If the alcoholic is sick why doesn't he or she just go to the hospital?
A: At first, the alcoholic is not aware that he or she is ill. Even when the alcoholic becomes aware that something is wrong, he or she may not believe that alcohol is the problem. An alcoholic might keep blaming things on other people, on his or her job, or whatever. But, really, it's the alcohol that's the biggest problem.
Q: Is there an "average" alcoholic?
A: No. There is no such person as the average alcoholic. Alcoholics can be young, old, rich, poor, male, or female. People with alcoholism come from all races and ethnic populations.
Q: What is the cure for alcoholism?
A: There is no cure for alcoholism. People with alcoholism who have completely stopped drinking are called "recovering alcoholics." Recovering alcoholics can lead healthy, happy, productive lives.
Q: Can family members make an alcoholic stop drinking?
A: No. It is important to know that an alcoholic needs help to stop drinking, but no one can be forced to accept the help, no matter how hard you try or what you do. It is also important to know that family members by themselves cannot provide the help that an alcoholic needs. An alcoholic needs the help of people trained to treat the disease. You cannot control your parent's drinking. It is not your fault. Even if you hide the bottle or try to be perfect, you can't do anything about your parent's drinking. You are not the reason why your parent drinks. You did not cause the disease.
Q: How many children in the United States have at least one alcoholic parent?
A: About one in four children in our country are growing up with at least one parent who has alcoholism or is an alcohol abuser. There are probably a few kids with an alcoholic parent in your class right now. And remember, many adults grew up with alcoholic parents, too.
Remember the Seven Cs
I didn't Cause it.
I can't Cure it.
I can't Control it.
I can help take Care for myself by
Communicating my feelings,
Making healthy Choices, and
By Celebrating myself.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
