gnly

I was at a festival promoting the business I work for, and I really wanted to drink, but practicd some AA stuff to combat the urge. Then I got really depressed about it, lke I'm mourning the loss of partying.

Is this a normal part of sobering up?

Tuesday24

From my experience it is totally normal. How long have you been sober? I think of it as the alcoholic mind telling me it's ok to drink.. trying to give me a reason. Don't listen to it.

1undone

Yeas, today is day 50 and I still feel that way from time to time. Like tonight we went to a nice restaurant and I was so obsessed with the big wine glasses all around me that I could hardly carry on a convo with my poor hubby. And this is further proof that I am without a doubt and alcoholic! BLA!

Ya know, I'd read about the stages of mourning if I were you. I've been going back and forth with them since I got sober. It's just good to know why you feel the way you do so that you don't allow the primitive side of your brain to take over and drink. I'm sorry you have to go through this. It's no fun AT ALL!

gnly

I'm glad it's normal. I've been having better days more often now. I was sober for about 2 months, then drank acouple times, now been sober a week.

Zebra1275

Yes, I think it's normal and it will get better.

Anna

Yes, it's normal to mourn the loss of alcohol.

You might want to read "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp, who describes the love affair she had with alcohol and the loss in her life when she stopped drinking.

ACT10Npack

The forbidden fruit. You want it but you can't have it.

Suezell

will definately pray for you - as you will for me. xo

JohnnyDetox

In my case and most of those around me, it's always painful (emotionally) in the begining. I think its perfectly normal.

instant

Don't take me as any kind of expert (day 49). To me this is one of the key issues

I'm mourning the loss of partying

On a thinking level (if not fully on an emotional one.....yet) working through this has helped me. The starting point is feeling like you are missing out etc but as some put it "keep playing the tape" to the end then re-evaluate.

I am so happy to have periods now where I feel the burden has been lifted- I don't have to do it anymore. This only happened with a strategy to deal with the times I was telling myself a false picture of what drinking was like for me, or how great it is for the rest of the world (despite the litany of personal and social problems caused by alcohol).

Spawn

This is totally normal.

Boleo

Yes and No. If you are working the steps at a good pace, then you should have experienced some release from despair (if that is the cause of your depression).

If you are working the steps too slow, then sobriety will feel like a cross to bare. Sooner or later you will want to put that cross down.

Abstinence is not drinking and feeling bad about it. Recovery is not drinking and feeling good about it.

Latte

Early in recovery it was normal for me.

If I start to feel like that now, I know it's time for some self reflection. Something I'm doing isn't working.

I swear, it gets better.

Roadr440

You bet ya it's normal.. I was pretty much a mess for at least 6 months into recovery.

Remember to take everything "One Day At A Time" Just make sure whatever happens you don't take that first drink..just for today..

When I first came to SR a lot of folks told me and others it gets easier with time. I took that with me every day in my head and you know what... The good folks here was right.. I'm a little over 2 years sober and I live a life that I could never have imagined I would have..

Stay Strong and Stay Focused....

yogaisland

I have felt regret about that loss of "normal" life too. I think it's totally normal to feel like that. I heard an ad on the radio for a new summer promotion at a local rooftop bar (on the ocean, gorgeous view!!) Working Women Wednesdays with $1.05 margaritas, giveaways by my favorite radio station, and they have awesome food. I was like, "Hell yeah I am there!!!" then my heart sank when I realized it was totally out of the question.

But I try to focus on the positive things. Like there is the most awesome Thai restaurant in town that has a lunch special - for $7.99 you get soup, spring roll, entree, and dessert! When my husband and I were drinking heavily we never could make it there for it on our days off (and it went on until 3pm - that's how bad we were.) Now we go every single Thursday. Enjoying something like that with my husband is way better than getting trashed cheaply at some island bar.

I also have thought about things like - I am going to see my family in Iowa next week for the annual summer festival. Last year I was drinking with my cousins at the street concerts. But I was so nervous not to get too drunk because my aunts were there and I didn't want to embarrass myself and have the story get back to my grandma. Now I don't have to worry about that at all. I can just enjoy the music and catching up with my family.

Squizz

I think it's perfectly normal. I go through it all the time. I just find something else to fill the "void", and usually it passes. I'm not saying eating too much pizza, spending too much time on the computer, etc. is much better, but is definitely better to some degree. I look at it this way:

I can't go to jail for eating too much, or reading too much. But I sure can go to jail for drinking too much.

I find it passes, as well. Heck, I was going through it earlier today as a matter of fact. I went to a meeting, ate a ton, and eventually it passed. Sometimes you're going to get depressed in sobriety. But not NEARLY as much as you did when you were drinking. This much I can say with certainty.