got to stop
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 94
thank you for your welcome. And yes Anna, it is a terrible circle. As soon as I get off at 5:00 I start drinking til I pass out. Then wake up hung over and go to work. I am sitting here shaking, my BP is sky high, and I have a fan on me to keep the buckets of sweat from dropping down my head. I have been a drunk for along time , got some help and learned to controll my drinking. But recently, maybe the last 6 months, it has flown out of control again. Drunk driving, terrible (embarssing) flirting, heck I showed up a mans home I hardley knew one night. (Thank God he was a gentleman) Something bad is going to happen. Soon.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 227
The key for me was accepting that I can never control my drinking. Maybe I can for a while but, eventually, it always go out of control.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 94
your right, and even as I sit here as sick as I am, I am thinking "okay, we will limit this or not drink that" and "well, she drinks all the time too and she fines and" BLAH,BLAH,BLAH.
i NEED TO LEARN TO STOP COMPARING MYSELF WITH OTHER PEOPLE.
they wont take my place in jail
i NEED TO LEARN TO STOP COMPARING MYSELF WITH OTHER PEOPLE.
they wont take my place in jail
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 227
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 94
thank you all for having me. I am going to take a break. I know if I say I will stop cold turkey I won't. I have been deaing with this for about 6 years. I have been to rehab, AA, and I have a whole shelve of books. I have all the tools and knowledge of an alcoholic, its just that I CAN'T STOP. But for what is is worth, I don't want to drink today.
I could so understand and relate to your post. It brought back to my mind the reason I quit drinking. pretty much describes my last days of drinking.
When I finally got to that place of knowing I had to stop drinking but having no idea how to live life without it, I was finally at my bottom. I am so thankful I was able to find a program of recovery that worked for me. There are many recovery programs out there and if you are not already in one I would encourage you to use one as they are a great resource and support system. The program that works for me is AA but like I said there are many others out there.
Take care and welcome to SR.
I used to drink because it made me happy. Now I drink because I am depressed. I have got to stop
When I finally got to that place of knowing I had to stop drinking but having no idea how to live life without it, I was finally at my bottom. I am so thankful I was able to find a program of recovery that worked for me. There are many recovery programs out there and if you are not already in one I would encourage you to use one as they are a great resource and support system. The program that works for me is AA but like I said there are many others out there.
Take care and welcome to SR.
Welcome cb1 - I can relate too..... As my drinking progressed, the depression and anxiety got worse. Drinking was the only way I knew how to deal with it, even though it was also the cause.
Glad you joined. Keep reading - this place helped me overcome my fear of getting sober. You can do it, too!
Glad you joined. Keep reading - this place helped me overcome my fear of getting sober. You can do it, too!
Yes, you can do it too!
Your words sound so familiar to me (and many others here I'm sure). I was so beaten I felt like it wasn't even worth fighting anymore. I'd tried AA, shrinks, my primary care doc, and each of them failed. I felt doomed.
So many of us have found a way out that works for us - you can too. Keep reading, and thanks for sharing!
Your words sound so familiar to me (and many others here I'm sure). I was so beaten I felt like it wasn't even worth fighting anymore. I'd tried AA, shrinks, my primary care doc, and each of them failed. I felt doomed.
So many of us have found a way out that works for us - you can too. Keep reading, and thanks for sharing!
Hang in there and if you have been to rehab and AA before you already know what to do now you just have to be willing to do it.
Try 90 meetings in 90 days and after that then figure it out.
Glad you found SR that is the 1st step in recovery and you already started being willing because you have reached out on here.
You can do it just believe we believe you can.
Keep us posted Peace & Blessings
Try 90 meetings in 90 days and after that then figure it out.
Glad you found SR that is the 1st step in recovery and you already started being willing because you have reached out on here.
You can do it just believe we believe you can.
Keep us posted Peace & Blessings
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 94
allthe alcohol is out of my house. I drank the last of it last night to fight off the withdrawl I was going through. I drank 6 beers and 2 glasses of wine (poured the rest of the wine down the drain) Got up and felt pretty good and came into work. A coworker just came by my office and said it smelt like alcohol in here. GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just when I decided enough, I'm gonna lose my job. Lotioned up (real smelly) and put a coughdrop in my mounth to hide any smells. This is not a way to live. Really. I will not drink today.
Hey CB - just start again. That's what we are here for. We can do this. I'm only on Day 2. Just keep going with me. The withdrawl will suck, but will end! Drinking will not get us where we want to go. Hang in there today....
CB, it does suck to say the least.......I am only on day 3 and it was very hard thus far. So hard that I don't want to be in that hell again. My body was basically telling me I was killing it.....and the withdrawal this time was bad....but somehow I decided enough was enough......sick of being sick....yeah it would have been easier to take the edge off with a few beers, but even that started not to help so much.
The first step is always the hardest for me, dig deep and keep reminding yourself you deserve to be healthy and happy.........it can and will get better if you grab hold....can you take a few days off?
My thoughts are with you.
The first step is always the hardest for me, dig deep and keep reminding yourself you deserve to be healthy and happy.........it can and will get better if you grab hold....can you take a few days off?
My thoughts are with you.
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