Well, even though I won't be staying there overnight for a bit
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 756
Well, even though I won't be staying there overnight for a bit
I feel so much better knowing now that the apartment is mine! Paid the first month's rent yesterday, will get the keys today(the previous tenant apparently forgot to leave them, so either the landlord will get them in the mail today, or it will be rekeyed today) and will start moving things in tonight after work(well, what I have in the van at least)
Then tomorrow we'll be starting on getting everything out from my sister's basement.
As for the boy, he does have a detention hearing today at 1, and it's possible that he will get out for the weekend. Which would help the moving thing immensely. Even his probation officer said that the move will be helpful in the "keep geographical distance between DS and his buddies".
Then tomorrow we'll be starting on getting everything out from my sister's basement.
As for the boy, he does have a detention hearing today at 1, and it's possible that he will get out for the weekend. Which would help the moving thing immensely. Even his probation officer said that the move will be helpful in the "keep geographical distance between DS and his buddies".
This was a big step.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 456
Best of luck with your new home!
Also, thank you so much for sharing your story. When I came to SR, I was at a point where I had pretty much forgiven my alcoholic father but still had some resentment towards my mother for all the things that she did/didn't do to protect us from him. Over the past couple of months I have gained a new appreciation for effort involved in getting out of a relationship with an alcoholic. It's such a huge accomplishment! I admire your strength.
Wishing you all the best.
db
Also, thank you so much for sharing your story. When I came to SR, I was at a point where I had pretty much forgiven my alcoholic father but still had some resentment towards my mother for all the things that she did/didn't do to protect us from him. Over the past couple of months I have gained a new appreciation for effort involved in getting out of a relationship with an alcoholic. It's such a huge accomplishment! I admire your strength.
Wishing you all the best.
db
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 756
Frak frak FRAK stupid freaking court put my new address(because I gave it to the probation officer) on DS's court papers, which were delivered about 20 minutes ago. And AH was just reading through them. He just left to go deposit two checks, but will be back soon. FRAK!!
BTW, DS is out on home detention for the weekend, court at 10am on Tuesday.
BTW, DS is out on home detention for the weekend, court at 10am on Tuesday.
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: carolina girl
Posts: 578
Oh dear....
Sometimes our HP decides when it's time to spill the beans about something.
Do you think he even noticed? I'm a little nervous about this for you, I just want you to be safe. Please let us know what happens when he gets back.
Maybe he didn't notice, but at the same time, he's going to find out sooner or later. Sometimes there is just no such thing as perfect timing
Sometimes our HP decides when it's time to spill the beans about something.
Do you think he even noticed? I'm a little nervous about this for you, I just want you to be safe. Please let us know what happens when he gets back.
Maybe he didn't notice, but at the same time, he's going to find out sooner or later. Sometimes there is just no such thing as perfect timing
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Betcha he doesn't even notice.
If he does, ask, "Let me see." Examine paper with a puzzled look and say, "Huh. That's weird."
I agree, he is going to find out shortly, one way or another. He will be entitled to have his son's address. Hopefully you will be safely esconced in your new place before that happens.
If he does, ask, "Let me see." Examine paper with a puzzled look and say, "Huh. That's weird."
I agree, he is going to find out shortly, one way or another. He will be entitled to have his son's address. Hopefully you will be safely esconced in your new place before that happens.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 756
Okay, he did see it and realize it. He played dumb until I left for work, and then promptly called me and told me not to bother coming back to the house. and then he proceeded to text me all night at work(yes, I did still actually do my job)
I have called the crisis center, and basically, unless he says I can come back to the house, I can't, and I can't go get the kids without a court order either. What I CAN do is if he starts drinking, DS has the instructions to text me, and I will have a welfare check done on them. Otherwise, there really isn't anything I can do at the moment. Also, if Ah leaves the house, DS has been told to let me know because then he is violating the court order for DS to be under 100% adult supervision, and then I will have the sheriff there to watch me pick up the kids(same with the welfare check)
Horrible, crappy timing, if I had known they would put my new address down on the court paperwork, I never would have given them the new address(his prob. officer AND the court appointed attorney both know why I am leaving). To think, I needed less than 24 hours to get the kids, the cat, and the rest of the belongings out safely. The kids are truly what I am most worried about, everything else can be replaced.
I am oddly calm, the crisis center call person says it's because I know deep down that this truly won't change anything, it's just a bump in the road. I am currently at my sister's house, where I will stay until the morning when we do the moving, so I will be at my new place tomorrow. Please though everyone, keep me in your thoughts. I WILL get thru this.
I have called the crisis center, and basically, unless he says I can come back to the house, I can't, and I can't go get the kids without a court order either. What I CAN do is if he starts drinking, DS has the instructions to text me, and I will have a welfare check done on them. Otherwise, there really isn't anything I can do at the moment. Also, if Ah leaves the house, DS has been told to let me know because then he is violating the court order for DS to be under 100% adult supervision, and then I will have the sheriff there to watch me pick up the kids(same with the welfare check)
Horrible, crappy timing, if I had known they would put my new address down on the court paperwork, I never would have given them the new address(his prob. officer AND the court appointed attorney both know why I am leaving). To think, I needed less than 24 hours to get the kids, the cat, and the rest of the belongings out safely. The kids are truly what I am most worried about, everything else can be replaced.
I am oddly calm, the crisis center call person says it's because I know deep down that this truly won't change anything, it's just a bump in the road. I am currently at my sister's house, where I will stay until the morning when we do the moving, so I will be at my new place tomorrow. Please though everyone, keep me in your thoughts. I WILL get thru this.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
You may be able to get the court to order your son to stay with you, when you go to court on Tuesday. From what you've said, your son is on board with the move. The juvenile court has complete control over where he lives. You could also mention at that time that you need to continue to get your, your son's, and necessary household items out of the house without interference. And the court might specifically order that, too (it's worth a try). The juvenile court is all about providing a stable home for the juveniles under supervision.
If you do go back to pick stuff up, I'd call the local police to have an officer stand by to make sure there are no problems.
Dang, sorry things took a turn, but glad you are keeping your cool. You're right, it will all work out in the end.
If you do go back to pick stuff up, I'd call the local police to have an officer stand by to make sure there are no problems.
Dang, sorry things took a turn, but glad you are keeping your cool. You're right, it will all work out in the end.
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