Sheilds still holding part 3...

Old 06-30-2011, 08:23 PM
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Sheilds still holding part 3...

Well the saga continues but it looks a little brighter for our brave Captain and his valiant crew.

After dealing with the suicide threat I get a call from AW's social worker at the hospital. She would like to check out tomorrow(Friday) and they want some more background info.

So, I go into to the whole story, the booze, the pills, the fact that her father was an alcoholic and that this is going to end in divorce. She thanks me for the information, says they would like her to stay longer and if I really believe this is headed for divorce she recommends that I say something while she is in a place to help her deal with this information.

I make the call with my heart in my throat. We actually have a conversation where she is not only sober she seems lucid. I tell her that I can't go through this again. I want to divide up the finances and that this is going to end up with a divorce. I also talk to her about what I have been doing for recovery. Her response is to say she loves me enough to let me go and to thank me for still loving here. Codie wakes up and fusses a little but not too bad. I tell her depending how long she is in the hospital I will help out with the rental agreement but other than that I can't be involved.

It was emotional but I said to her that I iove her, I always will love her, but I can't live with her. I can't watch her go through another relapse.

At this point we agreed to work on splitting the finances, work each on our own recovery and move forward. I won't let hope cloud observations. I am going to hold off on the divorce while she is in treatment so she is covered by my health care but I made it clear the divorce is the destination.

She said she understood. We'll see but so far things look better than they did.

Your friend,

BTW, she is now staying until the 5th. Every little bit helps.
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Old 06-30-2011, 10:00 PM
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Thanks for the update Mike. I've been wondering how things have been going for you and if she was still in the hospital.

Glad to see you are staying strong through this.
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Old 06-30-2011, 11:06 PM
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Thank you, Mike. Your strength is inspiring. I walked away once from my RAH (who was AH when I walked away). It was the hardest thing I did. Sending you prayers & hugs.
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Old 06-30-2011, 11:10 PM
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Prayers, Mike. That must have been a painful conversation.
~T
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Old 07-01-2011, 04:11 AM
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morning everyone. To offset what is going on with my AW my daughter and grandsons are here to visit. She is staying at her sister's place and I have been taking vacation to spend time with them. Yesterday both families spent the day in Ocean City NJ. Beach, boardwalk and rides. Good times. We then went to my 13 yo granddaughter's deck hockey game. She plays in the 13-16 yo division and holds her own. She runs track so she is one of the fastest people on the rink.

Edit: I forgot to say is one of only a handful of girls in the league.

I feel like everything that has been going on in my life recently has been in fast forward. However it is what it is.

Thank you so much to everybody here on SR for your support and giving me the tools to deal with this. You truly are my good friends.

Your friend,
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Old 07-01-2011, 04:46 AM
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Aye, Aye Captain and thanks for the update!
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Old 07-01-2011, 05:28 AM
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It all sounds good, Mike,

Who knows what she will choose to do, but as long as YOU are doing the right stuff, you will be able to sleep at night. I think it was the right thing to do to spell it out for her, and especially to make it clear that you will do x, y, and z, and that you will do that regardless of what she does. No carrot, no stick. What she does is for her own sake.

Good job! Enjoy the shore--I won't be relaxing on the beach until next year.
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Old 07-01-2011, 06:11 AM
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Ohh my mom and I also feel many things are going on all the same time, in fast forward....

Sending you hugs and BTW thanks for your support in a recent thread of mine, I have followed your advice and I am grateful !! today I enjoyed my day very much and felt in a better mood... helped that I spent some time away and alone to realize that the negativity I felt is not mine...

Hugs and keep moving forward... you can't cure her, its great you are taking steps to protect your peace and your sanity, those two are priceless.
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Old 07-01-2011, 08:35 AM
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Originally Posted by m1k3 View Post
I feel like everything that has been going on in my life recently has been in fast forward. However it is what it is.
Congratulations, Captain. (I keep hearing Scottie in the background, saying, “It can’t be done!” And then it IS done.)

I know what you mean about things seeming to come so fast once the dam breaks. It’s as though our lives and joys have been pooling behind the dam and then whoosh…. And in that vein, it's fun to hear about your granddaughter. How cool is that to play deck hockey!?!
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Old 07-01-2011, 01:29 PM
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Your clarity is inspiring ~ thank you!

- Sylvie
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