ksumm77

It's been a week and a half since I found the evidence (and confronted) that my AH has been using steroids for the past 3 months. He says that he has quit taking them. Things between us have still been awkward since he decided to omit the truth and hide his use of steroids from me. He told me today that for the first time in his life, he's not beating himself up telling himself that he's a failure or just an addict. He says he doesn't see the steroid use as a relapse. He tells me he hates talking to me about this b/c in my professional mind (I've been a cnslr in past) I see this as a relapse. I told him that in my personal mind I have a problem with it because he lied to me again. I told him he needs to talk to his sponsor about this. I don't think he has yet and don't know if he will , but I know that's not my problem or responsibility. I'm attending more Al Anon meetings, but still struggling with the broken trust and feeling comfortable talking to and being around my AH since it was just in January 2011 that he "came clean" to me, was tired and wanted to be in recovery, but then started steroid use supposedly 3 months ago and didn't tell me. I'm praying and trying to talk in Al Anon about what's going on with me. I'm in individual counseling also. I don't like feeling the discomfort of the situation and I don't know if there's really anything else I can do for myself to feel better.

LexieCat

Sounds to me like you are doing the right stuff to feel better. There's no way that living with an alcoholic or addict that you love, who is relapsing, is painless. You are bound to feel pain.

Keep doing your recovery work and things will become clearer and more manageable with time.

dollydo

I think that you are doing everything you can posiibly do. You'll just have to keep your eyes and ears open and see what happens.