Making Major Decisions
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 3
Making Major Decisions
I made a decision to divorce my husband right about the time I started to attend Alanon regularly after years of his drug use and the ciaos that came with it. Since that time my husband went to rehab and is really working a program for the first time. I'm still not ready to say I will give him another chance, but he is always telling me I shouldn't make major life changing decisions as well. I'm torn because I know right now I can't stay married to him, but I'm hopeful this will work (3rd time in rehab, 1st time taking it seriously).
I know in AA and NA they tell those in recovery not to make any major life decisions in the first year. What do y'all think about that as it relates to Alanon?
I know in AA and NA they tell those in recovery not to make any major life decisions in the first year. What do y'all think about that as it relates to Alanon?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
I cannot answer that for you. You're going to have to make that decision for yourself. History isn't on his side and it looks like he's still trying to manipulate you. That is just what I get from this.
I'm sure others with more ES&H will come along.
I'm sure others with more ES&H will come along.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Relax.....take it one day at a time.
The future unfolds, we learn lessons, we endure what we must to learn those lessons and eventually, the path we should take becomes clear. If I'm running through the forest in a panic, it's very possible that I could take a wrong turn and wind up going in circles. Each time a fork in the road is presented, it's ok for me to sit and think a while before deciding which way to go.
It took me a lot of years to figure that out! lol
Time reveals so much.
You and your husband will be in my prayers today.
gentle hugs
ke
The future unfolds, we learn lessons, we endure what we must to learn those lessons and eventually, the path we should take becomes clear. If I'm running through the forest in a panic, it's very possible that I could take a wrong turn and wind up going in circles. Each time a fork in the road is presented, it's ok for me to sit and think a while before deciding which way to go.
It took me a lot of years to figure that out! lol
Time reveals so much.
You and your husband will be in my prayers today.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
My ex promised over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over that he was done using.
Each time he broke his promise.
Eventually, it didn't matter what he promised, because I was done listening.
but yes, the recommendation in Alanon is the same as the recommendation in AA. No major life changes until you are well entrenched in your recovery. The recommendation is for 1 year.
That's because a lot can change in a year. Promises can be broken. Or they can be kept. No one can predict which way it will go. But past performance IS a good indicator of future performance.
Each time he broke his promise.
Eventually, it didn't matter what he promised, because I was done listening.
but yes, the recommendation in Alanon is the same as the recommendation in AA. No major life changes until you are well entrenched in your recovery. The recommendation is for 1 year.
That's because a lot can change in a year. Promises can be broken. Or they can be kept. No one can predict which way it will go. But past performance IS a good indicator of future performance.
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