How to begin...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 21
How to begin...
Hello everyone,
I unintentionally got myself caught up in a predicament yesterday. I am online friends with a woman, I'll call her Vee, who is an alcoholic. She isn't familiar with the program, and doesn't attend meetings, and she certainly doesn't have a sponsor.
Well, she didn't, until I appointed myself. I didn't ask her, I just sent her this text: "I will call you in the morning. You know why? Because I'm now your sponsor and you're now in the program. Got it? So enjoy your drinking tonight while you can. <3"
That was so, so horrible of me. You know what they say about the road to hell, right?
I feel awful for that egotistical decision I made. Part of it stemmed from the desire to help her, but secretly, another part came from MY desire to be responsible for someone's successful recovery, i.e NOT my own.
I'm not sure how to proceed in helping her without biting off more than I can chew. Obviously, I want her to stop drinking. But I feel like I forced her into it not knowing if she is ready.
Basically, I'm just wondering where I go from here, and how do I show her that sobriety works without overstepping my bounds?
(Because really, with less than two months clean, I am not qualified at all to sponsor anyone. *blush*)
Thanks in advance everyone.
I unintentionally got myself caught up in a predicament yesterday. I am online friends with a woman, I'll call her Vee, who is an alcoholic. She isn't familiar with the program, and doesn't attend meetings, and she certainly doesn't have a sponsor.
Well, she didn't, until I appointed myself. I didn't ask her, I just sent her this text: "I will call you in the morning. You know why? Because I'm now your sponsor and you're now in the program. Got it? So enjoy your drinking tonight while you can. <3"
That was so, so horrible of me. You know what they say about the road to hell, right?
I feel awful for that egotistical decision I made. Part of it stemmed from the desire to help her, but secretly, another part came from MY desire to be responsible for someone's successful recovery, i.e NOT my own.
I'm not sure how to proceed in helping her without biting off more than I can chew. Obviously, I want her to stop drinking. But I feel like I forced her into it not knowing if she is ready.
Basically, I'm just wondering where I go from here, and how do I show her that sobriety works without overstepping my bounds?
(Because really, with less than two months clean, I am not qualified at all to sponsor anyone. *blush*)
Thanks in advance everyone.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I think you would do better to ask that question in the Alcoholism (preferably the 12-Step Recovery) forums.
I am in AA, myself (almost three years), and I assume AA is what you mean by "the program". Why not ask your own sponsor about this?
And, if you don't have a sponsor, yourself, I suggest you get one, pronto.
I am in AA, myself (almost three years), and I assume AA is what you mean by "the program". Why not ask your own sponsor about this?
And, if you don't have a sponsor, yourself, I suggest you get one, pronto.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
I recently reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and she is an admitted alcoholic.
She knows I've been sober a long time as I was actually in rehab when I got a day pass to be in her wedding.
She asked if I was still in AA, and I told her yes.
Maybe she will come to a point where she wants sobriety, and maybe not.
If someone likes what I have, they just may want help.
I try to live by example every day.
She knows I've been sober a long time as I was actually in rehab when I got a day pass to be in her wedding.
She asked if I was still in AA, and I told her yes.
Maybe she will come to a point where she wants sobriety, and maybe not.
If someone likes what I have, they just may want help.
I try to live by example every day.
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