pixilation

the kids were with my sister last night, and when I got home with them, I could hear crappy rap music coming from my driveway. So I'm thinking "great, he's already at the blaring music stage?". but no. that wasn't it. AH was "fixing" cars with a few of his soldiers, who are all at least 10 years his junior. the music was coming from one of their vehicles, and it was a group that AH listens too to "bug" me, so yeah, I really did see it last night.

Oh, but did you know he was only drinking because his soldier's bought the alcohol for him, and that he "has" to drink with them to fit in? Even though he'd been dry for 8 days previous to last night.

He disappeared again too, sometime after 12, no idea where he went. Maybe he does have someone on the side, even though that's "the most evil thing a spouse can do".

On an aside, 15yo showed his COA colors this weekend, and got himself arrested for reckless driving and trespassing(he was driving a friend's 4 wheeler, 40mph on the alleys in town, and he was cocking off to the cops who stopped him) so he's been in juvenile hall since Sunday. Life sucks for him, but maybe, just maybe this is the wake up call he needed. He does know now that we are moving out this weekend, whether or not he'll be out by then, not sure yet. I've been putting detachment to work with him too, just trying to stay calm and deal with the facts only. But gah..it was hard to see him in the cuffs and being put in the cop car.

LexieCat

Aw, man,

Sorry to hear about the kiddo's scrape with the law. Mine had a couple, too, and yeah, it sucks to see them in custody.

A lot of kids get into scrapes at that age but do learn their lesson. Mine won't even make an illegal U-Turn at his mother's request when it is safe and there are no police in sight.

Hang in there, it's rough timing with the move and all, but you'll get through it. Biggest hugs,

pixilation

Yeah, and he's supposed to start a job on Tuesday, 10-12 hour days, out of town, great work experience. I need to go call his prob. officer to find out the latest, and let her know about the job(I didn't know the details of it on Monday).

And yes, the kid has horrible timing. but hey, he can't try and say "if you'd just get me into behind the wheel, I could get my license!" because now, the ticket will put at least 6 points on his "future" license(he did have an off-road vehicle operator's license)

LexieCat

Yeah, maybe once it sinks in that he's shooting himself in the foot so far as getting his license is concerned, he will be a bit more, um, circumspect.

Hope he's able to go for the job--it's good for him to have something to keep him out of trouble!

pixilation

That's exactly it! It's with a plumbing/heating company, he'll basically be a gofer-type, but yes, it will keep him out of trouble, but that's if he can get out by Tuesday to start the job.

LexieCat

Will keep fingers crossed. I would think his probation officer and the court would be all for his being productively occupied.

Latte

Good grief. Can I just say you're doing an excellent job handling all of this?

Thinking of you.

pixilation

Well, I don't know, I just broke down crying, I keep thinking "why now, why this week?" But, last night was a reminder, that "kick in the pants" I needed again.

It doesn't help that I keep getting his prob.officer's voice-mail, instead of being able to talk to her.

Latte

You call crying breaking down? I call that a healthy way to handle it all. I've cried for far less serious stuff.

Can I ask why you are calling the probation officer and it isn't him doing it? Or leave a message, x is in jail right now and leave it for him to take care of. It's his mess.

GettingBy

Awe Pixi... take a deep breath. All things happen for a reason... and things will work themselves out.

Just leave a message with the PO and then let go. Go do something to get ready for the move.

You're making such great progress!!!

Latte

That last question was an honest one, I'm not trying to be judgmental.

LexieCat

As I understand it, it's her 15 y/o who got into his very first scrape with the law, not her AH. She's trying to get the kiddo into his first job--not totally inappropriate to help out with when it hasn't become a pattern, IMO.

pixilation

Well, I guess his po isn't keeping him informed while he's in detention either(this is the boy's po, here apparently a first time DUI only gets unsupervised prob. so Ah doesn't have one)

I AM going to go put another load of stuff in the van. I'm trying to make it so I only have one pick up load left at the house for moving day.

I'm not getting the house clean or anything though, even though I desperately need to fold clothes.I just don't have the motivation.

Latte

Definitely understandable.

I wouldn't clean the house either. Laundry yes, the STBX will be left in the dirty house-I'm sure he'll figure something out.

GettingBy

This is a little off-topic - but what the hell is a "soldier"? I maybe off base - but when I read your post - I was totally picturing a scene out of Fight Club!!!

Edited to add.... Maybe you are actually referring to the US Army soldiers!!

Latte

LOL I'll let her explain. Sorry, that made me laugh.

pixilation

No, Ah is a Sgt. in the Army Reserves(he is in the process of being medically discharged, but that can take up to 2 years, minimum), so these are 'his' soldiers, as in he is in charge over them.

and I guess I've been a military wife for so long I didn't even consider that someone wouldn't "know" what I was talking about. LOL

GettingBy

Dang... why does the truth always have to be so simple?!?!?!

Seriously, I was having fun picturing some underground gang of "soldiers" that ran around do all sorts of illegal "jobs" for your AH. Which of course led to day dreams about Brad Pitt and Edward Norton....

but I won't go there!!!!

Latte

Thank you for that laugh. Seriously. I so needed it.

LexieCat

Yeah, "Go home, you're too fat. And you--you're too BLOND."

I totally loved Fight Club. I'm kinda twisted, that way.