ACT10Npack

It's been 5 days now until since my last drink. It's sucks because I went on a 5 day binge and I'm my body is still recovering from it. Before this I had 3 months of sobriety and this is going to be round 4. On average it take 5 types to stay sober for good and I don't want to hit average. The upset is that I'm lasting longer without drinking I'm work and paying my debt off. The downside is that I lost 2 weeks a weight lifting (workout) week of work truth with my parents and gain 5 pounds because of this.

I'm trying to look over why I drink and I came to the conclusion that I was bored and thought it was one night. When I did have my first drink vodka and juice I was nervous about drinking it because what happen if I go on a 3 day binge.

I wish I was one of those people that only get drunk one night and thats it. Recover that night and thats it but for me I just can't do that. I have to avoid the hangover which I know many it just as bad as people getting drunk for one night but if I was one of those people that didn't binge I would still have everything.

What I'm doing with recovery is going to work (my work sucks still because it's hard to focus when recovery) going back to eating healthy. hitting up the gym. and writing notes on my note app on my phone about the day and how I feel about that day and coming back to SR. I was thinking about going to meetings once a week to remember me not to drink but I really don't want people to know I have this problem in my area and I would not do the problem because of some of my beliefs that I could never get pass.

Cliff:
1. Round 4 for trying to stay sober for good
2. Why I drank in the first place. Nervous that I would binge when drinking.
3. Wishing I was not a binge drinker but a one night drunk person.
4. What I'm going to do to recover. Go to work. Eat healthy. Hit the gym. Keep use SR and write a day note log about my day.
5. Why I can't go to local meetings.

Thanks for listening(reading).

Dee74

I've never heard the 5 times rule. I must have had about 100 other peoples shares too

What worked for me was change - I didn't want to do it, the only thing I wanted to change in my life was not drinking...but I began to see how much the rest of my life and my mentality was tied into my drinking.

Going to the gym and eating well, and journalling are good things to do...but do think about changes - real changes - too...

If we don't change....we stay the same.

D

sobermax

Hey - nice work mate. I hear you.

Change is really scary.

Abbzi

Once i learnt to stop wishing [and boy did I wish] that I couldnt drink like others [thats just life] and I could only drink like me.. and that was with the inability to stop at one or two drinks, and not be able to guarantee my behavior .. then I had to look hard at what I did want [sobriety and all that goes with it] and what I was prepared to do to get it...

I fought that so hard... and it nearly killed me...cause holy crap alcohol fought much harder than I..

You dont ever have to have a Round 5....

Taking5

Hang in there. I way overshot 5 tries as did most of my friends in AA. Why can't you go to local meetings?

Raquell

I thought that i would be able to do it without attending meetings but after going to a meeting every day (Day 5 Sober) for the last 4 days I realise that it is so good to hear other stories and to realise I do need support. One person at a meeting said to me, "I look at a meeting like a gas station I come in 3/4 empty. 1/2 empty or even sometimes totally empty but after a meeting I leave full.
Good luck on your journey.

instant

I guess the way you drink is the way you drink. If you could change that I guess you would have been successful in that before coming to SR. So where you are is where you are. what you've got is what you've got. You have identified that "wishing" things were different can lead you astray, irrespective of how "good" you have been in the lead up to that first drink.

I have discovered it does not have to "be fair"- it just is

There is plenty to enjoy, you are doing well in other areas- drinking does not seem to fit in

ACT10Npack

Yea that is so true. I can't change it now. I use to be that person that would get drunk for one night and that was it but I change to a binge drinker and I can't change back so even if I wish for the past I can't which is why I'm trying to quit for good. I hope this round will be the one (4th one).

Soberpotamus

Well, I'm definitely over the five times quota... LOL. I sure hope that one's not true! I refuse to give up. It may take me 1000 times, but I still have hope. Good post!