ETA

One of my biggest fears is that down the road I will trick myself into thinking "oh I can have just one gin/beer/glass of wine."

Obviously if you are here odds are that you tried to moderate and it didn't work.

So I was wondering...

• What did you do to try to moderate?
• How long did it take and what made you realize that you couldn't?

After 20+ years of drinking I first started trying to moderate about 6 years ago. I probably tried to moderate 90% of these last 6 years.

My big thing was limiting wine because I was the biggest mess drunk on that. This worked only at dinners out when it was $7/glass. Art openings, parties and at home alone I would drink every drop I could get.

The closest to quitting completely was my rule to only drink on weekends which I was only able to keep up for 1 week.

Or "only gin" when I got out because I'm less sloppy drunk on gin than beer or wine.

A few times there was the "only good beer" rule which was too expensive.

One time it was "Guinness only" thinking I would get too full to drink a lot.

Bikeguy

I did only beer, only wine, only vodka. I did only on weekends, only after 8 pm, only on special occasions. No matter what I did I always ended up in the same place....drunk. There is no moderation for me, I've learned that the hard way, but I have learned.

Opivotal

It amazes me the lengths we will go to to continue drinking. We want to keep it in our lives, even though it destroys us.

I tried every way I could think of to moderate. Switching from Vodka to wine. Measuring how much I drank. I always wound up in the same place, DRUNK.



Best Wishes To You!

TexasNative

I tried so many different things, usually at the advice of non-alcoholic drinkers I knew. My poison was always Miller Lite cans. And I had to have a fridge full/corner stores mapped out to stop at for it when out and about. So I would try to "just stop at the bar for a Corona" or "just get a sixer of Tecate" or "just have a margarita" and within 2 days I'd be a miserable mess w-a fridge full of Miller Lite

Fenris

Oh yeah, I tried all kinds of stuff, ETA. Only on weekends, only after 6 p.m., no liquor, no dark liquor, no more than three beers, only lite beer, only at home...most only lasted a day or so, and they all had some kind of (ir)rational reason attached for why "This Time I Will Succeed".

Abbzi

I was going to say I tried moderating mid 2o's to keep my husband happy... but truly probably 16yrs when 'normals' pulled me up the day after a party asking what the hell I was doing...

Off the top of my head.. leaving vodka for beer or wine... glass of water between each drink... ,mixing half a glass of wine with fruit juice... not drinking till kids went to bed..when they became teens not drinking till 5pm..slowing my pace to those that seemed to be able to handle it... in winter putting it in the car and having to go out to the car to pour a glass...only drinking every second day...

I just cant do moderation... I could no soon put down the first drink.. then fly to the moon...

Programmatic

I cannot control and enjoy my drinking.
I tried everything posted above.
I could do one or the other but not both at the same time.
I sure as hell saw no point in drinking if I couldn't enjoy it. I couldn't enjoy it if I were controlling it.
I repeat; I cannot control and enjoy my drinking. That leaves no room for moderation.

pavernt

Its beer with me, I always thought I could go for a beer and it'll be ok but no

Example: a week ago my niece came to visit - We went for a drink during the day (she is 20 in a few days) next thing I know I've got into contact with loads of my mates dragged them to the pub, so drunk I thought one of the girls was called juan (it was fran)

then its a late night bar, shots of absinthe

had I just avoided the bar in the first place - fine, wouldnt have had a drink... its all or nothing

Zebra1275

What did you do to try to moderate?

Pretty much everything that has been listed already.

How long did it take and what made you realize that you couldn't?

Usually I got clued in the next morning.

woowaa

I tried....

- A month off to prove I didn't have a problem - nearly made it but then spent 1 week slamming alcohol down my neck in Lanzarote, literally drinking 15 hours a day...
- Only drinking wine at weekends (my big vice is wine), just a couple beers a night - that soon became 5-6 and a short or 2, 3, 4 you get the idea
- Only buying one bottle of wine on the way home - i.e. none in the house - 1 night
- Drinking gin mixers since you get fizzed out sooner - several times but forgot to notice it didn't help me limit them but it was harder to tell how many I had since the bottle was 1.5L

All in all, hundreds of clever yet stupid ploys & empty promises - kind of funny when I look back now in fact made me smile remembering my efforts

17th May - err dunno, just had enough of alcohol and found you guys

No further limiting wanted....

Squishyboots

Wow - you guys are all listing what is going through my head and what I have been saying for the last 6 months. What if I?....but what if I just......but just one....

Buelah

It truly shows the problem we have when we all have had or are going through the same patterns. I would do that....I'll just drink a few beers in the evening after I'm done working and drink whiskey and diet coke when I go out. Nope...that didn't last long. Well, I will drink a beer and a shot in the evening, and a glass of wine when I go out. I don't even like wine...that didn't work. I'll drink wine for my heart, it's healthy...well not when you drink almost an entire bottle. I'll only drink on special occasions. I'll only drink on the weekends. It's crazy every thing I just read. We all do it, and we all ended up flat on our face.

So, now it's I won't drink any alcohol at all, no matter what, one day at a time.

Great thread - sure made me think.

Fenris

Buelah, that's one of the things that most amazes me: I've met people who are just as different from me as night from day, but we all have this disease in common, and the similarities in our patterns, our behaviors, our thoughts is stunning.

--Fenris.

Terminally Unique

I've trained myself to recognize any thinking, imagery, or feeling that supports or suggests the possible future use of alcohol or drugs, ever, as the enemy.

Your post fits the bill. Treat it as such. :-)

Buelah

As I just put in a different thread, a friend of ours has hepatitis C due to a blood transfusion from over 32 years ago. He has just gone through his second treatment. Well, in order to go through the treatment, he had to stop drinking beer, which he loved. Go figure all the years of drinking beer didn't damage his liver but a blood transfusion from all those years ago did.

Any way, he calls alcohol, the "devil's koolaid". So, AVRT, I agree with looking at it as the enemy or as our friend calls it. Thank you! Doesn't matter what form or shape or color it comes in, it's the enemy.:camper:

instant

all the above plus when out follow a drinker who is "normal" with respect to the amount and when to refill etc- "retraining"- can last till I got home and was free of constraint

ETA

Oh yeah, water every other drink.

I read somewhere that drinking in taller thinner glasses makes you not drink so much so I started shopping for tall glasses.

I think alcohol is MY enemy but certainly not everyones. One thing that someone said on this board that was a great point for me to consider is "People who are not alcoholics don't try to control their drinking because they are already in control." Accepting that I would never be the kind of person who could control it has been an important part of me feeling ok with life w/out drinking.

Squishyboots

ETA - that made me laugh - I too would shop for taller, shorter, add water, you name it. Just made me drink more....

ETA

haha!!! wine has antioxidants, beer is a good rehydration after running!

Buelah

Thanks for the laugh ETA. Every one is in good spirits and on a roll today!