bblackbirdflyy

Major fail on my part. I'm absolutely disgusted with myself. After a weekend full of events to drink at I held strong, only to drink on monday? gah.

I only had 4 stinking days of sobriety.

I dont really have much to say cuz im soooo pissed at myself but thought I should "fess up" in the forums.


day one we meet again.

RotRow

...and next time you'll have 5, and then 6 until you can put a string together like a beautiful strand of pearls....

The days will get easier and you will get stronger.

Zebra1275

So what's your plan so that this doesn't happen again?

bblackbirdflyy

just say no? don't answer the door when old drinking buddies come knocking.....

bblackbirdflyy

I need to make some new friends,,, sober friends.....

Terminally Unique

This is quite common. It takes about 4 days for the body to fully flush out the alcohol and its metabolites, and to begin to return to base level. A casual drinker will naturally return to normal much faster than a chronic drinker.

I used to do many 3-4 days off and back on again cycles until I wised up to this and began to anticipate it.

Fenris

Blackbird, thank you for your honesty. It's usually hard to admit when we don't live up to our expectations. But don't beat yourself up too badly over it. Just keep coming back and keep trying.

--Fenris.

Anna

It's for that reason, that I decided to stay away from alcohol for a long time. I could go to an event and get through it, but then the next day, I'd be out buying wine. It wasn't worth it.

Opivotal

Thank you for your honesty bblackbirdflyy. Having failed a few times myself...I can tell you, friends will change, emotions will come to the surface, and you will feel a bit out of sorts. Having a plan in place and some sort of support is very helpful. Try and remember the reasons you quit in the first place. Your alcoholic mind WANTS you to fail. Know it for what it is.


Best Wishes To You!!

Squishyboots

Blackbird we all have failed and keep getting up. Just start again today. That's what I did yesterday and I'm back on Day 2 again. Frustrating, but just look at today and make it today, that's all that matters. Tomorrow will just be tomorrow. Keep coming and talking especially through the tough parts of the night.

Buelah

Blackbird - I'm new at this as well. Just at the start of Day 5. And every one we socialize drinks. This will be the hardest part of my life. I can't toss all these friendships aside, as some of them are truly good friends. They are the ones that won't care that I'm not drinking - won't even question it. But, in my mind, it will still be uncomfortable. My goal is to always make sure I have someone there to help me along. Whether it's my husband, a good friend. Someone I know I can trust. Even if it's just "hey I gave up drinking because I'm trying to take care of my health - will you keep me line at this party?".

It seems a lot of us agree that early on, it's best to avoid a lot of those situations, but some will just happen, and there's no avoiding. Doesn't mean you're around bad people, just means the temptation will be there. But, honestly it's every where every day. We just have to learn to keep pushing on.

Don't be ashamed, but put your feet back on the ground, and do over! You have no choice but to keep pushing.

instant

BBF
what is your explanation for what happened? My road has been a series of plans that failed, periods of giving up then having another go.

The problem I have had is trying to repeat failed plans "harder".

Best of luck

Abbzi

I second what Rotrow says.....So proud of u for posting... I know since I got here..very recently.. my everyday bust would stop me posting due to shame, remorse or whatever I felt... which to me is dumb.. I need here to keep me healthy and myself honest....

but also agree, with what those have said on a plan... I do a rough plan each day...very small in these early days [and shakily written] but I write what Ill truly do if I get cravings.. and I also include a goal for the day... not drinking obviously but also small doable goals..yesterday was to wash up, todays is to cook my daughter a nice meal...if I make em too big I may use it to bust if I fail

Taking5

There is a real good place to do this, and they are very close to the front of the phone book.

endlesspatience

Yes, to echo what others have said, well done for posting. I find it easy to boast of my achievements on this site but much harder to admit to drinking relapses. I wish now I had been more rigorous on that last year when I kept lurching between a few days and weeks of sobriety and a then binges which I tried to keep secret, even from myself. It didn't work and everything just became less and less manageable. So your honesty here is most welcome.

If you're like me, you will find a spiritual programme helpful in addressing the anxieties over letting your friends down. It's not going to be as easy as going out for a drink with them when they knock on your door but it does bring incredible rewards.

bblackbirdflyy

Instant - i think I went wrong at thinking I was strong enough to hang around the drink without participating.

dgillz- I'm picking up what you're putting down

Abbzi- ive never been great at writing down goals-plans (or general organizational skills for that matter) but now sounds like a good time to start!

thanks again for all of your posts and support.

Dee74

Great advice here

I'm sorry BF...but I've been there too, believe me...

Time and again I tried to hang out with my drinking buddies - and inevitably I either drank at the time, or drank later.

I was trying be a non drinker living a drinking life.

When I quit for the last time, I made the decision not to be around alcohol until I'd given sober life a chance, and until I was utterly convinced that was what I wanted, regardless of any circumstances.

The few months that took, months of me working solidly on my recovery, were a great investment for me and my life today

D

recoverywfaith

Have you tried going to Alcoholics Anonymous in order to help maintain your sobriety and meet other sober people? It was told to me early in sobriety to stay away from old people, places and things.

bblackbirdflyy

I have been to a few meetings here and there but have problems with the time comitment. perhaps maybe one meeting a week would suffice?

Mariano

I think one meeting a week is better than no meetings at all.

I've been in AA now and then. Now I am not attending to meetings. I visit my psychiatrist two times a month. In AA I learned quite a lot of very useful things. I think it is good to go, even if it is only once per week.