Don't quite know...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 8
Don't quite know...
Hi everyone,
I am writing because I want to end all of my addiction issues once and for all, but I feel very alone and don't know where to turn....
Growing up I was a perfect child, I got into drugs after my dad's job got transferred 1500 miles away in my junior year of high school (2000). Starting a new school somewhat messed me up and thats when I started smoking pot heavily. A bunch of stuff happened and then in 2004 I ended up dating a meth dealer and got heavily involved in that for a few years...I got so desparate I made a 2000 mile move with $100 to my name in 2006. I have remained in this place since then. Thankfully, I have been able to drop my ex (also my meth dealer), and after much work able to drop most of my issues...
Five years later I remain lyattracted to any speed like substances, as well as my new fondness for alcohol...I went to rehab last year for alcohol...but my longest time of sobriety in the last 6 years has been like 26 days....
Currently I am a senior in college...I have been fighting all these addictions and it seems like no one gets it...I don't seem to fit in in AA but I feel not bad enough for NA although I have battled a pretty nasty Meth/Amphetamine addiction...
I just want to get better..and not depend on any drug...I just want to be happy...I appreciate any suggestions...Thank you.
I am writing because I want to end all of my addiction issues once and for all, but I feel very alone and don't know where to turn....
Growing up I was a perfect child, I got into drugs after my dad's job got transferred 1500 miles away in my junior year of high school (2000). Starting a new school somewhat messed me up and thats when I started smoking pot heavily. A bunch of stuff happened and then in 2004 I ended up dating a meth dealer and got heavily involved in that for a few years...I got so desparate I made a 2000 mile move with $100 to my name in 2006. I have remained in this place since then. Thankfully, I have been able to drop my ex (also my meth dealer), and after much work able to drop most of my issues...
Five years later I remain lyattracted to any speed like substances, as well as my new fondness for alcohol...I went to rehab last year for alcohol...but my longest time of sobriety in the last 6 years has been like 26 days....
Currently I am a senior in college...I have been fighting all these addictions and it seems like no one gets it...I don't seem to fit in in AA but I feel not bad enough for NA although I have battled a pretty nasty Meth/Amphetamine addiction...
I just want to get better..and not depend on any drug...I just want to be happy...I appreciate any suggestions...Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
Meilander Welcome to SR!
Good to see you want to get back and there is a lot of programs out there to help you out. I was never in to substances and alcohol was my thing. It's hell and you want to get better. I would think it would be good to think why you use in the first place. Get down all the trigger for your cravings and learn how to avoid them. Also it would be a good idea to start learn your issues/problems and dealing with them head on because most/all have personal issues and if you don't get them straight way then your going to go back and use again. Ever thought about going to a therapist? Well good luck and keep coming back to SR.
Good to see you want to get back and there is a lot of programs out there to help you out. I was never in to substances and alcohol was my thing. It's hell and you want to get better. I would think it would be good to think why you use in the first place. Get down all the trigger for your cravings and learn how to avoid them. Also it would be a good idea to start learn your issues/problems and dealing with them head on because most/all have personal issues and if you don't get them straight way then your going to go back and use again. Ever thought about going to a therapist? Well good luck and keep coming back to SR.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 8
Hi,
Thanks for the quick reply! I have been to numerous therapists since I was 14 (I'm 27 now). I have dealt with my trauma issues and my anxiety issues but it seems like I turn to drinking/drugs when I don't know how to identify my feelings or realize nothing is going to change in my current situation....I often feel alone so I am finally going to venture out into both the AA and NA communities in my area and hopefully this will help my isolation, but like I said I don't feel bad enough for AA but its been so long (2 years) since I really dealt with drugs besides the adderall which was prescribed to me, that I feel lost and alone...even though I just need to avoid all mood-altering substances...I feel alone..
Thanks for the quick reply! I have been to numerous therapists since I was 14 (I'm 27 now). I have dealt with my trauma issues and my anxiety issues but it seems like I turn to drinking/drugs when I don't know how to identify my feelings or realize nothing is going to change in my current situation....I often feel alone so I am finally going to venture out into both the AA and NA communities in my area and hopefully this will help my isolation, but like I said I don't feel bad enough for AA but its been so long (2 years) since I really dealt with drugs besides the adderall which was prescribed to me, that I feel lost and alone...even though I just need to avoid all mood-altering substances...I feel alone..
MIND OF DESTRUCTIVE TASTE
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 744
Hi Meilander 
Welcome to SR, you've come across a wonderful community. You don't need to be "bad enough off" to go to an NA meeting, you would be welcomed there as you would in AA. Don't give up on meetings if you stumble across a...not so good one. They are out there but there are good ones, sometimes you might have to look for them.
I am sorry that you feel so alone and you are struggling so much *hug*
Jess
Welcome to SR, you've come across a wonderful community. You don't need to be "bad enough off" to go to an NA meeting, you would be welcomed there as you would in AA. Don't give up on meetings if you stumble across a...not so good one. They are out there but there are good ones, sometimes you might have to look for them.I am sorry that you feel so alone and you are struggling so much *hug*
Jess
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 645
Meilander. How "bad" do you have to be to go to Alcoholics Anonymous? If you wait until you consider yourself "bad enough" it may then be too late. Stick around and sooner or later you will hear your story. I think many of us tell ourselves that we aren't "that bad". I know I sure did. Don't worry, if you keep drinking it will eventually get "that bad". Been there, done that. Susan
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Welcome to SR.
As several have stated in many different ways, one can get off the elevator and find help at any floor they choose. The choice is yours, you can wait till you feel things are bad enough and maybe destroy everyone and everything around you or you can get off the elevator while you still have those things that are important to you in life.
AA can be very helpful in learning how to live life without alcohol. It offers the tools to do that. It has been very effective for me over the years and I continue to utilize the program and attend meetings.
As several have stated in many different ways, one can get off the elevator and find help at any floor they choose. The choice is yours, you can wait till you feel things are bad enough and maybe destroy everyone and everything around you or you can get off the elevator while you still have those things that are important to you in life.
AA can be very helpful in learning how to live life without alcohol. It offers the tools to do that. It has been very effective for me over the years and I continue to utilize the program and attend meetings.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Coffs Nsw
Posts: 80
Im in a country town..so not alot to chose from with AA and only one NA.. I was about mid 20's when I first went to AA..and I went heaps..but people seemed so old to me and I couldnt relate..so I joined the NA group.. so while I wasnt using at that time..I did relate age wise and to the stories.. however I also kept up with AA as I am alcoholic... between the two I got what I needed...
For me also, I wasted.. alot of years lost to grog cause at first I didnt think I was bad enough... Ill never get them back.. I swapped those years for every worsening crap
For me also, I wasted.. alot of years lost to grog cause at first I didnt think I was bad enough... Ill never get them back.. I swapped those years for every worsening crap
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 8
Hi everyone,
I went to AA last night, its still hard to me relate but it does help! I am hoping to get up the courage to go to a NA meeting soon, because I tend to get those people more, but at this point I know that anything that keeps me sober is my best bet!
I went to AA last night, its still hard to me relate but it does help! I am hoping to get up the courage to go to a NA meeting soon, because I tend to get those people more, but at this point I know that anything that keeps me sober is my best bet!
to SR. Sometimes there are meetings for younger people such as those in college at AA and NA.
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