CeeFarro

So I am now on day 6 with no drink and feeling pretty good.

I am in my home state of Oregon visiting for the past month and a half, and it
is here that I have decided to quit drinking..I am flying back to my now home
Utah tomorrow and am very sad..I will miss Oregon deeply..But I know I will
be OK once I get back to Utah and see my fiance and my dogs.

The thing I have been obsessing about for the past couple days is the plane
trip..I HATE to fly. For the past 6 or 7 years I have had to medicate myself
to make it through a flight..

I started flying alone around age 7..very frequently, as my parents were in
different states and never ever gave it a thought..But for some reason out of the blue I started having them on planes in my 30's(drinking related?)

I have made the trip between Eugene,OR and Salt Lake many many times
and kind of have a ritual to get me through..

In Eugene I go through security, then have a beer before getting on the
puddle jumper to Portland(it's a quick flight with no drink service) Then
at my layover in PDX I have as many drinks as my layover permits..Usually
a couple pints and a shot..On the plane from Portland to Salt Lake I order
a double Bloody Mary(the drink service never comes fast enough)..Then
once I land in SLC I have a quick shot to ease my nerves before meeting
my guy in baggage claim

I keep telling myself that I picked a bad time to quit drinking and maybe I can
start over once I get home..UGH

Any suggestions? If anyone has had a real panic attack, you know how
awful they are

I keep thinking that maybe they were the cause of drinking and I will be
OK tomorrow..But I keep obsessing about it

Jackie36

I to am a terrible flyer!! I take valium to fly, and my dr. only gives me 10, and only gives them to me when I fly. I don't fly often, once maybe twice a year. There are also online classes for people that have a fear of flying, I want to check that out soon. Look online at statistics, that helped me too.

Jackie

bexxed

I flew sober last week for the first time. I checked this forum from my phone in the airport. I did sudoku puzzles. I even ended up at the airport bar with a coworker (it was a business trip) where I ordered seltzer, although that was not something that I think should be recommended for you, me, or anyone in early recovery. Also, on the flight out anyway, I arrived on the later side which gave me less time to wait. (Although we did get delayed.)

You know, the last time I drank was on a plane. (yes, I fly A LOT.) As an adult flying and drinking had become synonymous.

Panic attacks are horrible. But so is alcoholism. Are you part of a recovery program? Do you have any phone numbers of people you can call? Does the flight carrier have internet on board? You can get online support while flying if it does, and you can call a friend from the terminal.

I believe you can get through this flight. I hope you do, and I'm glad you reached out about it. Good luck.

CeeFarro

I don't really have any support right now , except for you guys. I am planning on going
to meetings when I get home. Everyone I know here in Oregon parties, including my
family. I have cut myself from everyone this past week..my sisters won't talk to me
because I cancelled a vacation with them due to the fact that I will drink if I go(they
are my drinking buddies)..I have been alone all week, with only the animals where I am
house sitting to keep me company.

Pills are not an option..I wish they were.

I am alone with my fear and obsessive thinking..kind of going a little manic

My fiance back home thinks I am being silly..He's a cowboy and does not do or talk
about feelings very well..

This is only a 2 hour flight..It could be worse..That is what I keep telling myself

doggonecarl

I think you'll do fine. I just went through a situation I was sure was going to be horrible. It was only horrible in the anticipation...the actual event was not as bad as I had imagined. And I didn't drink.

Good luck.

Anna

I think you'll be okay.

Try to remember that the feelings of anxiety are just feelings. They don't control you. And, I find that breathing deeply really helps, because you tend to breathe shallowly when panicky and that creates more anxiety.

Bee2011

I would take comfort in the fact that it is a short flight and stay away from caffeine prior to the flight - maybe that will help your nerves. Maybe have some comfort food before the flight?

CeeFarro

Thanks you guys..I think I'll be Ok too..Lack of sleep and not being able to eat this week
is not doing much for my nerves! I just have to think about today, right?

Eddiebuckle

In the last few years of my drinking career I began to have HUGE anxiety flying. It got so bad that I would drive from NC to my hometown in MA (15 hours without traffic) rather than fly for an hour and 40 minutes.

I took my first flight about 5 months after getting sober and to my surprise, it wasn't bad at all (I wanted valium, but knew that was a non-starter). I'm not sure if it was the whole stress of travelling, the prospect of not having a reliable flow of alcohol, or what but have flown several times since without incident.

I made sure I had soothing music and a good book, got there early so there was minimal stress, and was prepared to walk away from the trip if I got really wigged at the airport.

Good luck & safe travels.

ozgoddess

Hi Cee

My daughter has anxiety around flying. She plugs herself into her iPod and doesn't turn her music off until she lands. I would add that you could maybe download a guided meditation. You can find them online (sometimes they are even free). I find the guided meditations to be quite soothing. Good luck but I am sure you will be fine

Missy7

I'm terrified of flying too. I've both drank and used xanax--or whatever else I could get. If I had to fly right now, I would take something I can get engrossed in--probably my laptop. When I had to put stuff away, I would try to relax, but would mostly keep track of time. I'm even terrified of the dings the plane makes as it reaches different altitudes, so I would wait for those consciously. Then, wait for the ginger ale. Then strap in for the landing.

I'm sure you will be fine. Do not decide to drink then requit. If anything, have tomato juice. Maybe you will trick yourself.

I flew with xanax a number of times and last time I didn't have any. You know what? I had become used to flying relaxed from the drug so I was relaxed from habit. You will be okay.

lushly

[QUOTE=ozgoddess;3014381]Hi Cee

My daughter has anxiety around flying. She plugs herself into her iPod and doesn't turn her music off until she lands. I would add that you could maybe download a guided meditation. I agree if you can download any meditation /relaxation stuff and remember to breath. Visualize your place of happiness and peace. For once when you are on the plane don't be in the moment, and soon you will be safely on the ground where Living in the moment is important once again
Good Luck and stay in touch (())s The Lush

lushly

Sorry ozgodess the first part of my post is your post also and it got into mine . I am still figuring out the quote stuff. My daughter also has anxiety, but pretty much all the time.

CeeFarro

Thanks you guys, I actually have calmed down a bit and realized it was all in my head..I
I would kick my self in the ass for drinking for a 2 hour plane trip..Tomorrow it will be 7
days for me..yipee! 4 years ago I managed to put together 2 weeks(with the intention
of drinking again, I was taking a break)..I know that my drinking will never get better
only worse..In admitting that, I have hope!

Itchy

Cee you will be fine and you know that in your head. I have the same problem, in that what I know in my head doesn't necessarily seem to convince my stomach of the same thing.

Life doesn't get any easier with time, sobriety does.

bratnik

CeeFarro thanks for this post. I'm catching up after posting my same issue on the June thread - this helped me as I am having anxiety about my first sober flight coming up on Friday.

Thanks everyone for those tips. You are helping lots of us!

TexasNative

Thankfully I don't have to fly often, et all. I say thankfully for endless reasons, but the alcohol factor is involved for sure. I haven't flown since I stopped drinking last year and I suppose I would handle it like everything else that has come along, just get through it and enjoy the gratitude that would follow afterwords. I sure used to get bombed when I would fly though, not just because the airport experience is frustrating but my travels were always for vacation, not business...so it was like, lets get this party started! Hope it worked out OK for ya.

littlefish

Hah. Try Amsterdam from Stockholm, to Newark, to Denver, to Houston to Albq. Eeeeh in 23 hours.

Yet, I must ask you: isn't fear of flying just one of the many fears you will encounter in life sober, and try to medicate with alcohol?

I don't know about you CeeF, but I had lots of moments of fear and loathing that I medicated with alcohol: flying, not flying, take-offs, landings. Or not flying but driving....which was stress, again!!! Drink over that!
Waiting rooms. Airport bars. NOT airport bars. Tax free. White knuckle my way through tax free: don't buy. Don't drink!
Or, Buy! Drink! Drink it all in the airport bathroom 'cause I can't carry it on board. Gurgle gurgle gurgle.

Taking public transport and being with people, ugh, or driving drunk: God almighty, can't do that either!!!
Moving, not moving. Having intimacy, not having intimacy. Dealing with stress, not dealing with stress. Gah! Drink!

I loved that bottle because it was like those "potions" from the 1800's when they peddled snake water and that one elixer was the cure for everything.
Alcohol was my cure for everything. It was my little cure all bottle of snake water.

I have a feeling your fears over this flight are just the beginning. We encounter so many fears when we quit. A guy I know in recovery couldn't paddle his little canoe to his island less than 100 meters away. He was overcome by fear. When he was active. Now he has a rather large sailboat that he captains on large seas with no fears whatsoever.

How to deal with it? I think we feel fear because we think that we are losing control. We obsess about the future and imagine a path of future destruction: the plane will crash.

If you consider using a recovery program, which I highly recommend, I would recommend AA because the topic of fear and fear of losing control is a major one in the program that we discuss frequently. You could overcome your fear of flying in a program, not just AA, but many other programs, if you begin to address your fears. And fear is a major issue for us alcoholics.

CeeFarro

I get the fear of losing control thing as being directly related to my alcoholism..I do
believe that I have medicated my self with alcohol. And I anticipate many many more
hurdles to get over..

I don't think I need a psychologist nor do I have PTSD..I do believe my problems have
been from my own making.

To be honest with everyone..I am leery of the whole AA deal..And it's not "contempt
prior to investigation"..

I grew up in AA halls..My mother is in recovery..I sat doing my homework in smoke-filled
rooms as a young girl..We had meetings weekly in my living room also...I have only really
know 12 steppers growing up and it was forced down my throat..

I'm not saying that I know everything..Nor am I saying that I don't want to hear people's
opinion about me going to meetings..because I am seriously considering it..

I'm just wondering if anybody has found another way to be happy and sober

CeeFarro

Anyways..Thank you everyone for the advice..I'm going to pack my bags, say goodbye
to the animals, drive to the airport and get my dramatic ass on the plane.. sober!
I appreciate all of you very very much!(even the Big Book thumpers)..