Hardest day yet
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 26
Hardest day yet
I'm trying to go on a (long) break from binging 3 times a week (for 10 years) to see what effect it has on me. Taking it a day at a time.
I'm on day 6 now, and boy this day was the hardest yet. I feel my mind trying to lure me into thoughts that promote drinking. ("If you can stay sober for a week, you're probably not that bad of a drinker", "I'll just drink tonight and then stay sober for another 2 weeks from then on").
My cravings, if I can call them that and I think I can, are the strongest around 5, 6pm. These were usually the moments when I cracked my first beer. Empty stomache, you know the drill: they kick in hard and the harder the better.
Having dinner usually gets rid of most of the cravings and that's what happened today.
A made a long walk and all the time I was thinking about drinking. I saw beautiful butterflies and thought "he's probably off to a bar, unlike me". When I saw lambs drinking milk from their mothers I thought "I bet that's a White Russian coming out of her udders." (J/k)
Summer is kicking in and all around my neighbourhood I smell bbq's and hear beers being cracked in 360 surround. I notice that I associate so many feelings, smells and sounds with drinking. They need some serious de-association, that's what I know.
I'm 'safe' for the day, but tomorrow is another challenge.
Also been listening to the AA speakertapes on my ipod and I find some very captivating if not inspirational. On the other hand, while listening to some serious-rockbottom-stories, I also notice the dark side of my mind whispering "Wow, that guy was so much worse off than you are. If he can drink for 20 years every day and be alive, the thing you are doing can't be that bad."
Glad this place is here to evaluate and vent.
Luv.
I'm on day 6 now, and boy this day was the hardest yet. I feel my mind trying to lure me into thoughts that promote drinking. ("If you can stay sober for a week, you're probably not that bad of a drinker", "I'll just drink tonight and then stay sober for another 2 weeks from then on").
My cravings, if I can call them that and I think I can, are the strongest around 5, 6pm. These were usually the moments when I cracked my first beer. Empty stomache, you know the drill: they kick in hard and the harder the better.
Having dinner usually gets rid of most of the cravings and that's what happened today.
A made a long walk and all the time I was thinking about drinking. I saw beautiful butterflies and thought "he's probably off to a bar, unlike me". When I saw lambs drinking milk from their mothers I thought "I bet that's a White Russian coming out of her udders." (J/k)
Summer is kicking in and all around my neighbourhood I smell bbq's and hear beers being cracked in 360 surround. I notice that I associate so many feelings, smells and sounds with drinking. They need some serious de-association, that's what I know.
I'm 'safe' for the day, but tomorrow is another challenge.
Also been listening to the AA speakertapes on my ipod and I find some very captivating if not inspirational. On the other hand, while listening to some serious-rockbottom-stories, I also notice the dark side of my mind whispering "Wow, that guy was so much worse off than you are. If he can drink for 20 years every day and be alive, the thing you are doing can't be that bad."
Glad this place is here to evaluate and vent.
Luv.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Congrats on choosing sobriety. Please try an AA meeting. AA speaker tapes are fine but they are not the program of AA. You'll need to get thr book, attend meetings and work the steps to work the program of AA.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Good for you for making it through a tough day!
I love the 'going for a walk' idea. That was what helped me so much. And, yeah, I would pass some outdoor restaurants and see people drinking, but, it gets easier to deal with as time goes by.
I love the 'going for a walk' idea. That was what helped me so much. And, yeah, I would pass some outdoor restaurants and see people drinking, but, it gets easier to deal with as time goes by.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 26
Originally Posted by dgillz 
Congrats on choosing sobriety. Please try an AA meeting. AA speaker tapes are fine but they are not the program of AA. You'll need to get thr book, attend meetings and work the steps to work the program of AA.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
