This thread doesnt even deserve a title
...is awesome!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 107
This thread doesnt even deserve a title
Warning and im admitting that this is a 'self-pity' post so if your 'one of them' that basically says stop whinging and start being greatful then please move on. I believe each of us needs and deserved to be heard when we are in that messy messy messy messy grrrrrrrrrr messy place in your soul. Im 9 months sober in 2 days and I couldnt care less. I wont be going to any meetings to get my special 'go you' medal and never have done before. I know this is great and all but im a complete mess, and I know this is apparently what is meant to happen 'unless you follow the steps' which i wont and never will. I can barely get my thoughts together everything is so clouded, and no not in depression but have you ever felt this.....eerily calm, couldnt care less on one side, and the other side is sizzling just busting to go smack the other side in the head. Yeh thats me right now. Sounds skitzo but apparently im not. I need someone to talk to. Im a failure as a mother, a crap mother, i dont even know what to feed my kids, play with them, teach them, it really is a chore. I love them, i just wish i could step inside somebody elses body to do it. Im a single mum that has tried to go back to study for the past 4 years, failed and failed over and over let myself down, my kids, my family. Im so unsatisfied with my life and who i am...btw who the hell am i! there is so much more to this messy making no sense story but at least you got a look into the mind briefly of someone who is feeling out of control. I dont want to die, but i wish i never existed, and im really ok with that, i just wish it was.
o and im not expecting an apparent pity party that comes from drowning in self pity. I just want to talk
o and im not expecting an apparent pity party that comes from drowning in self pity. I just want to talk
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,345
Most of the advice I'd usually give you told me to not to 
I remember feeling that mix of calm 'I don't give a crap-ness', and boiling seething anger - the solution for me really was to try and get out of myself, mix things up, vary my routine...volunteering was good for me....it was the last thing I wanted to do but it was the best thing I could have done.
Most important of all tho? look for support...
I don't know exactly what support you've been using right now...and I know the last thing you want to do is reach out and make an effort - but it's either that...or sit there and stew...and feel worse and worse....
I hope you'll find some support - and get some peace - soon Liz.
D
I remember feeling that mix of calm 'I don't give a crap-ness', and boiling seething anger - the solution for me really was to try and get out of myself, mix things up, vary my routine...volunteering was good for me....it was the last thing I wanted to do but it was the best thing I could have done.
Most important of all tho? look for support...
I don't know exactly what support you've been using right now...and I know the last thing you want to do is reach out and make an effort - but it's either that...or sit there and stew...and feel worse and worse....
I hope you'll find some support - and get some peace - soon Liz.
D
...is awesome!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 107
Dee its only cos ive tried some of those things in the past, im looking for new solutions. I want to float away high into the sky and have the earth absorbe me as i rise. that would be heaven. Its like i am incapable of thinking/doing/wanting to do anything. No pill can fix this. Ive tried that. Sorry prob just frustrate people reading this. Im crummbling myself. Failure. I do want to reach out and make an effort...a tiny part of my does cos the rest of me is just over it. Like a flat road going nowhere and a few roundabouts in between. Yep i get it, poor me
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,345
I do know how you feel. I felt like that for many many years - but I got to the point that anything was better than living the life I was living - even if it meant trying some things I'd tried before.
As nice as it would be to just float away and have my problems left behind, it never worked like that for me. It was either I fix my problems or noone would...
I hope you feel better in the morning Liz
D
As nice as it would be to just float away and have my problems left behind, it never worked like that for me. It was either I fix my problems or noone would...
I hope you feel better in the morning Liz
D
...is awesome!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 107
Yeah its like ive hit rock bottom with my addiction but that wasnt very far from the bottom of my life. I know what your saying. I want that. I want to just flick my mind and click my fingers and do it, and i can hear people screaming 'so do it'. THere are children, careers, houses, family, money that need to be considered. That's where it just goes blurry. THankyou, my problems are so tangled and messed and bl0ody long too so, i dont know where to begin.
Hope I can sleep tonight. That is another nightmare. Again...poor me...i know
Hope I can sleep tonight. That is another nightmare. Again...poor me...i know
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
Okay! Felt like what you have described here just last night! And do often. To get out last night I plugged myself into my iPhone and went to pandora.com I made a radio station with songs that force my mood to improve. Lol I have no idea why this works for me but at this point I won't question it!
As far as chips go for any milestone In sobriety, I think it's like a anti-climactic event. It's not like there is going to be a parade or fireworks when you grab that chip! Lol. At least I know that will be the case for me. Life keeps on moving along.
I think maybe you are dealing with the classic identity crisis. Google it, I bet you'll get all kinds of information.
As far as chips go for any milestone In sobriety, I think it's like a anti-climactic event. It's not like there is going to be a parade or fireworks when you grab that chip! Lol. At least I know that will be the case for me. Life keeps on moving along.
I think maybe you are dealing with the classic identity crisis. Google it, I bet you'll get all kinds of information.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 84
I'm really new to this site and to AA, and I have always been resistant to going to meetings. But this last time I was at my wits end and gave AA a shot. I'm not religous in any way, agnostic at best, but I'm working with a sponsor and things are going great! You're not sober, you're dry , and miserable. Try a few meetings, what do you have to lose? If not for you, then do it for your kids. A a huge part of why I finally went is my 3 year old son.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
I know meetings are hard to "swallow." I've been to only one and I found it a challenge on some levels, but heck, I left feeling better and that's the point, right? Plus, it's a good place to talk these things out.
You say, and I believe you, that you "just want to talk."
At AA meetings there is a time for each person to talk. Just say what you have to say, and apparently, no one judges. But maybe someone would approach you after and you could discuss how you feel. Maybe you could find a sponsor to talk to.
You and I both need to go to meetings and choose what we want and need from them. And I also believe that our presence, as critics of the system, would be valuable to AA and to others there.
Hang in there. What do you want to study? PM me if you like. Women returning to college is my specialty.
You say, and I believe you, that you "just want to talk."
At AA meetings there is a time for each person to talk. Just say what you have to say, and apparently, no one judges. But maybe someone would approach you after and you could discuss how you feel. Maybe you could find a sponsor to talk to.
You and I both need to go to meetings and choose what we want and need from them. And I also believe that our presence, as critics of the system, would be valuable to AA and to others there.
Hang in there. What do you want to study? PM me if you like. Women returning to college is my specialty.
Today's Muse
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West end
Posts: 1,081
If you want, you have to be willing to go get it. I fully understand what you are feeling. I wanted what I wanted, and wanted it now. I didn't want to do the work that would make it happen. I needed to be willing to try something I never imagined doing before. It takes a bit of stepping outside of our comfort zone to find the comfort we need and want.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
20 months sober, I am partly responsible for a young child, and I'd be the first to admit I don't do a perfect job, but nobody does. I never saw myself in this role, I'm the former dysfunctional addict/alcoholic, but now I'm probably the most stable figure in his life.
I hate milestones, I often had a difficult time during them and began questioning my whole life in sobriety, I usually seek more support at these times, and eventually I move past it.
Support doesn't have to be AA, there is a range of help out there, people have other methods that work for them. I have respect for the program and how it helps people, I'd encourage anyone contemplating it to try it, but it isn't the end all and be all of sobriety.
Often I'd find myself venting with my counselor and fully aware I sounded like a pity party, with my emotions out of control, but that's often what I needed I think to find some perspective on it. I wasn't even necessarily asking someone else for a solution, just needed someone else to listen and be able to express it. Take care and sorry that it's a struggle at the moment, please be sure to ask for help if you do feel you are at risk.
I hate milestones, I often had a difficult time during them and began questioning my whole life in sobriety, I usually seek more support at these times, and eventually I move past it.
Support doesn't have to be AA, there is a range of help out there, people have other methods that work for them. I have respect for the program and how it helps people, I'd encourage anyone contemplating it to try it, but it isn't the end all and be all of sobriety.
Often I'd find myself venting with my counselor and fully aware I sounded like a pity party, with my emotions out of control, but that's often what I needed I think to find some perspective on it. I wasn't even necessarily asking someone else for a solution, just needed someone else to listen and be able to express it. Take care and sorry that it's a struggle at the moment, please be sure to ask for help if you do feel you are at risk.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
lizisme,
At nine months, the alcohol-induced depression should have lifted. Have you consulted with a psychologist/psychiatrist about this?
The usual protocol is to wait until 90 days sober to see if it is caused entirely by the alcohol or not, so you are well past that.
Please note that I am not advocating going to a psychologist or counselor for addiction, but for your other concerns.
At nine months, the alcohol-induced depression should have lifted. Have you consulted with a psychologist/psychiatrist about this?
The usual protocol is to wait until 90 days sober to see if it is caused entirely by the alcohol or not, so you are well past that.
Please note that I am not advocating going to a psychologist or counselor for addiction, but for your other concerns.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
Originally Posted by AVRT 
lizisme,
At nine months, the alcohol-induced depression should have lifted. Have you consulted with a psychologist/psychiatrist about this?
The usual protocol is to wait until 90 days sober to see if it is caused entirely by the alcohol or not, so you are well past that.
Please note that I am not advocating going to a psychologist or counselor for addiction, but for your other concerns.
At nine months, the alcohol-induced depression should have lifted. Have you consulted with a psychologist/psychiatrist about this?
The usual protocol is to wait until 90 days sober to see if it is caused entirely by the alcohol or not, so you are well past that.
Please note that I am not advocating going to a psychologist or counselor for addiction, but for your other concerns.
If I went back into study, I think that I would try part time to begin with, I try to find a working balance in my day to day life that I can cope with. That was something that I actually had to relearn how to do.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 227
Hi Lizisme... I related to a lot of what you said!
I am only in the very beginning of staying sober so can't speak to that but I think what you're feeling is beyond addiction issues - some being normal single mom feelings and some maybe being where the need to drink/do drugs might have stemmed from.
I am a single mom. My kids are older now and by some miracle have turned out to be amazing. I felt just as you did when my kids were young. I never was good at playing, teaching them to read was so frustrating, I was inconsistent and never could get a grip on all the things that needed to be handled. I was a terrible cook - the best I could do was buy them the organic mac and cheese to eat too often.
Now some 15 years later I see that some of it was a result of the fact that I'm not very good with smaller kids (they are so illogical!) but most from my issues and person feelings of purpose and identity.
What 1undone said about "identity crisis" - I always thought that phrase was BS but then I lived it. I was in my late 20s, my kids were able to play on their own or go to friend's houses giving me some time to myself. I didn't know what to do with it or how to fill it. I literally kept thinking "who am I??!"
I am also very familiar with the numb / I don't care "feelings." I'm not sure where they come from my therapist gave me some reading material on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and it had a bunch of information on numbness and detachment feelings.
Anyway! The point I'm trying to make is that it might help you to look at the big picture. Understand that the only thing in life is change. These feelings - or lack of - will pass. What is hard now will be ok later. Know that your kids have their own path and they will be fine.
I'm a mess in so many ways but the one thing I have learned with my kids is that I should not have worried so much. I felt soooo guilty about my mediocre/crappy parenting. My kids remember their childhood as pretty cool and they are proud of me as a mom. They don't look at what they didn't have.
Looking back I wish I could have cut myself a little more slack than I did. Take it easy on yourself. Try to get some therapy.
Read this story: And This Too Shall Pass ... and know that no matter how you feel now you will feel better. It's just how life works.
I am only in the very beginning of staying sober so can't speak to that but I think what you're feeling is beyond addiction issues - some being normal single mom feelings and some maybe being where the need to drink/do drugs might have stemmed from.
I am a single mom. My kids are older now and by some miracle have turned out to be amazing. I felt just as you did when my kids were young. I never was good at playing, teaching them to read was so frustrating, I was inconsistent and never could get a grip on all the things that needed to be handled. I was a terrible cook - the best I could do was buy them the organic mac and cheese to eat too often.
Now some 15 years later I see that some of it was a result of the fact that I'm not very good with smaller kids (they are so illogical!) but most from my issues and person feelings of purpose and identity.
What 1undone said about "identity crisis" - I always thought that phrase was BS but then I lived it. I was in my late 20s, my kids were able to play on their own or go to friend's houses giving me some time to myself. I didn't know what to do with it or how to fill it. I literally kept thinking "who am I??!"
I am also very familiar with the numb / I don't care "feelings." I'm not sure where they come from my therapist gave me some reading material on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and it had a bunch of information on numbness and detachment feelings.
Anyway! The point I'm trying to make is that it might help you to look at the big picture. Understand that the only thing in life is change. These feelings - or lack of - will pass. What is hard now will be ok later. Know that your kids have their own path and they will be fine.
I'm a mess in so many ways but the one thing I have learned with my kids is that I should not have worried so much. I felt soooo guilty about my mediocre/crappy parenting. My kids remember their childhood as pretty cool and they are proud of me as a mom. They don't look at what they didn't have.
Looking back I wish I could have cut myself a little more slack than I did. Take it easy on yourself. Try to get some therapy.
Read this story: And This Too Shall Pass ... and know that no matter how you feel now you will feel better. It's just how life works.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: va
Posts: 10
psychiatry
i battled with depression and anxiety sice early childhood and refused therapy and meds for years but now i have kids and my mom skills suck! im too tired and sad and miserable....i am currently seekeng the help of a psychiatrist reluctantly because despite being an alcoholic i have underlying depression and anxiety. i recommemnd giving a psychiatrist a shot and mybe aa later but whether we want to or not sometimes meds, even temporarily make a world of difference. Plus being sober at least for me has made me feel like my life is over, no more parties, no more fun sex, no more bottles of wine with a favorite book or wine during a cleaning spree....i hope you can find happiness, and if u are religious try talking to a minister or something, if not maybe finding a sober friend or sponser u can talk to. im new to sobriety and so i havent tried any of these avenues, im only making suggestions and def not preaching, i just know i needed anxiety meds at the least and exercise is helping too. good luck, im sure u are a much better mom than u think u are...hey, u are getting sober, be proud of that! and u are trying school good for u too! ive been trying and failing to go back to school for 4 years....give yourself some much deserved credit girl! stay strong
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
I sincerely hope you find your compass and start going in that direction. What direction? The one you think you want to go in.
Once you start you can change course when you see the best direction. In relearning how to be human, perhaps your children are an asset too. You have the opportunity to grow with them. They will never know you were growing with them from scratch. In fact may love you all the more for it.
Once you start you can change course when you see the best direction. In relearning how to be human, perhaps your children are an asset too. You have the opportunity to grow with them. They will never know you were growing with them from scratch. In fact may love you all the more for it.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
Hi Liz,
I'm sorry you're feeling so low. When I was in early sobriety, I had no clue where I was going or what to do either. We had moved to a new city where the language was not English and left behind both of my kids who were in university, so instant empty-nest. There are two things that I would suggest. One is to stop struggling for a few moments and just 'be' with yourself. Somehow, in my new city, I did that, and I ended up finding a volunteer position that changed my life. The other thing is, don't give up on medication. I take antidepressants and have for years. They even the playing field for me, but it took several tries to get the right medication.
I'm sorry you're feeling so low. When I was in early sobriety, I had no clue where I was going or what to do either. We had moved to a new city where the language was not English and left behind both of my kids who were in university, so instant empty-nest. There are two things that I would suggest. One is to stop struggling for a few moments and just 'be' with yourself. Somehow, in my new city, I did that, and I ended up finding a volunteer position that changed my life. The other thing is, don't give up on medication. I take antidepressants and have for years. They even the playing field for me, but it took several tries to get the right medication.
...is awesome!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 107
Originally Posted by coffeenut
my problems are so tangled and messed and bl0ody long too so, i dont know where to begin.
None of us did, really.
Coming to SR is a great first step. Keep coming back.
None of us did, really.
Coming to SR is a great first step. Keep coming back.
Originally Posted by Missy7
I know meetings are hard to "swallow." I've been to only one and I found it a challenge on some levels, but heck, I left feeling better and that's the point, right? Plus, it's a good place to talk these things out.
You say, and I believe you, that you "just want to talk."
At AA meetings there is a time for each person to talk. Just say what you have to say, and apparently, no one judges. But maybe someone would approach you after and you could discuss how you feel. Maybe you could find a sponsor to talk to.
You and I both need to go to meetings and choose what we want and need from them. And I also believe that our presence, as critics of the system, would be valuable to AA and to others there.
Hang in there. What do you want to study? PM me if you like. Women returning to college is my specialty.
You say, and I believe you, that you "just want to talk."
At AA meetings there is a time for each person to talk. Just say what you have to say, and apparently, no one judges. But maybe someone would approach you after and you could discuss how you feel. Maybe you could find a sponsor to talk to.
You and I both need to go to meetings and choose what we want and need from them. And I also believe that our presence, as critics of the system, would be valuable to AA and to others there.
Hang in there. What do you want to study? PM me if you like. Women returning to college is my specialty.
I dont want to study. I hate it. Im so axiety ridden over the whole ideal. Ive been doing it over 4 years, alltogether 2 of those actually studying. In that is 3 attemps across 4 semesters. I have nothing to show for any of it. Failed. Hurts so bad. Thanks for the offer of support :-)
Originally Posted by Dano1975
I'm really new to this site and to AA, and I have always been resistant to going to meetings. But this last time I was at my wits end and gave AA a shot. I'm not religous in any way, agnostic at best, but I'm working with a sponsor and things are going great! You're not sober, you're dry , and miserable. Try a few meetings, what do you have to lose? If not for you, then do it for your kids. A a huge part of why I finally went is my 3 year old son.
...is awesome!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 107
Originally Posted by LosingmyMisery
If you want, you have to be willing to go get it. I fully understand what you are feeling. I wanted what I wanted, and wanted it now. I didn't want to do the work that would make it happen. I needed to be willing to try something I never imagined doing before. It takes a bit of stepping outside of our comfort zone to find the comfort we need and want.
Originally Posted by michelle01
20 months sober, I am partly responsible for a young child, and I'd be the first to admit I don't do a perfect job, but nobody does. I never saw myself in this role, I'm the former dysfunctional addict/alcoholic, but now I'm probably the most stable figure in his life.
I hate milestones, I often had a difficult time during them and began questioning my whole life in sobriety, I usually seek more support at these times, and eventually I move past it.
Support doesn't have to be AA, there is a range of help out there, people have other methods that work for them. I have respect for the program and how it helps people, I'd encourage anyone contemplating it to try it, but it isn't the end all and be all of sobriety.
Often I'd find myself venting with my counselor and fully aware I sounded like a pity party, with my emotions out of control, but that's often what I needed I think to find some perspective on it. I wasn't even necessarily asking someone else for a solution, just needed someone else to listen and be able to express it. Take care and sorry that it's a struggle at the moment, please be sure to ask for help if you do feel you are at risk.
I hate milestones, I often had a difficult time during them and began questioning my whole life in sobriety, I usually seek more support at these times, and eventually I move past it.
Support doesn't have to be AA, there is a range of help out there, people have other methods that work for them. I have respect for the program and how it helps people, I'd encourage anyone contemplating it to try it, but it isn't the end all and be all of sobriety.
Often I'd find myself venting with my counselor and fully aware I sounded like a pity party, with my emotions out of control, but that's often what I needed I think to find some perspective on it. I wasn't even necessarily asking someone else for a solution, just needed someone else to listen and be able to express it. Take care and sorry that it's a struggle at the moment, please be sure to ask for help if you do feel you are at risk.
Originally Posted by AVRT
lizisme,
At nine months, the alcohol-induced depression should have lifted. Have you consulted with a psychologist/psychiatrist about this?
The usual protocol is to wait until 90 days sober to see if it is caused entirely by the alcohol or not, so you are well past that.
Please note that I am not advocating going to a psychologist or counselor for addiction, but for your other concerns.
At nine months, the alcohol-induced depression should have lifted. Have you consulted with a psychologist/psychiatrist about this?
The usual protocol is to wait until 90 days sober to see if it is caused entirely by the alcohol or not, so you are well past that.
Please note that I am not advocating going to a psychologist or counselor for addiction, but for your other concerns.
...is awesome!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 107
Originally Posted by michelle01
Depression can take different forms, some people have it and don't really recognize it. So that could be a concern here, but you really need a psychologist/psychiatrist for a full assessment.
If I went back into study, I think that I would try part time to begin with, I try to find a working balance in my day to day life that I can cope with. That was something that I actually had to relearn how to do.
If I went back into study, I think that I would try part time to begin with, I try to find a working balance in my day to day life that I can cope with. That was something that I actually had to relearn how to do.
Originally Posted by ETA
Hi Lizisme... I related to a lot of what you said!
I am only in the very beginning of staying sober so can't speak to that but I think what you're feeling is beyond addiction issues - some being normal single mom feelings and some maybe being where the need to drink/do drugs might have stemmed from.
I am a single mom. My kids are older now and by some miracle have turned out to be amazing. I felt just as you did when my kids were young. I never was good at playing, teaching them to read was so frustrating, I was inconsistent and never could get a grip on all the things that needed to be handled. I was a terrible cook - the best I could do was buy them the organic mac and cheese to eat too often.
Now some 15 years later I see that some of it was a result of the fact that I'm not very good with smaller kids (they are so illogical!) but most from my issues and person feelings of purpose and identity.
What 1undone said about "identity crisis" - I always thought that phrase was BS but then I lived it. I was in my late 20s, my kids were able to play on their own or go to friend's houses giving me some time to myself. I didn't know what to do with it or how to fill it. I literally kept thinking "who am I??!"
I am also very familiar with the numb / I don't care "feelings." I'm not sure where they come from my therapist gave me some reading material on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and it had a bunch of information on numbness and detachment feelings.
Anyway! The point I'm trying to make is that it might help you to look at the big picture. Understand that the only thing in life is change. These feelings - or lack of - will pass. What is hard now will be ok later. Know that your kids have their own path and they will be fine.
I'm a mess in so many ways but the one thing I have learned with my kids is that I should not have worried so much. I felt soooo guilty about my mediocre/crappy parenting. My kids remember their childhood as pretty cool and they are proud of me as a mom. They don't look at what they didn't have.
Looking back I wish I could have cut myself a little more slack than I did. Take it easy on yourself. Try to get some therapy.
Read this story: And This Too Shall Pass ... and know that no matter how you feel now you will feel better. It's just how life works.
I am only in the very beginning of staying sober so can't speak to that but I think what you're feeling is beyond addiction issues - some being normal single mom feelings and some maybe being where the need to drink/do drugs might have stemmed from.
I am a single mom. My kids are older now and by some miracle have turned out to be amazing. I felt just as you did when my kids were young. I never was good at playing, teaching them to read was so frustrating, I was inconsistent and never could get a grip on all the things that needed to be handled. I was a terrible cook - the best I could do was buy them the organic mac and cheese to eat too often.
Now some 15 years later I see that some of it was a result of the fact that I'm not very good with smaller kids (they are so illogical!) but most from my issues and person feelings of purpose and identity.
What 1undone said about "identity crisis" - I always thought that phrase was BS but then I lived it. I was in my late 20s, my kids were able to play on their own or go to friend's houses giving me some time to myself. I didn't know what to do with it or how to fill it. I literally kept thinking "who am I??!"
I am also very familiar with the numb / I don't care "feelings." I'm not sure where they come from my therapist gave me some reading material on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and it had a bunch of information on numbness and detachment feelings.
Anyway! The point I'm trying to make is that it might help you to look at the big picture. Understand that the only thing in life is change. These feelings - or lack of - will pass. What is hard now will be ok later. Know that your kids have their own path and they will be fine.
I'm a mess in so many ways but the one thing I have learned with my kids is that I should not have worried so much. I felt soooo guilty about my mediocre/crappy parenting. My kids remember their childhood as pretty cool and they are proud of me as a mom. They don't look at what they didn't have.
Looking back I wish I could have cut myself a little more slack than I did. Take it easy on yourself. Try to get some therapy.
Read this story: And This Too Shall Pass ... and know that no matter how you feel now you will feel better. It's just how life works.
Originally Posted by anitablake
i battled with depression and anxiety sice early childhood and refused therapy and meds for years but now i have kids and my mom skills suck! im too tired and sad and miserable....i am currently seekeng the help of a psychiatrist reluctantly because despite being an alcoholic i have underlying depression and anxiety. i recommemnd giving a psychiatrist a shot and mybe aa later but whether we want to or not sometimes meds, even temporarily make a world of difference. Plus being sober at least for me has made me feel like my life is over, no more parties, no more fun sex, no more bottles of wine with a favorite book or wine during a cleaning spree....i hope you can find happiness, and if u are religious try talking to a minister or something, if not maybe finding a sober friend or sponser u can talk to. im new to sobriety and so i havent tried any of these avenues, im only making suggestions and def not preaching, i just know i needed anxiety meds at the least and exercise is helping too. good luck, im sure u are a much better mom than u think u are...hey, u are getting sober, be proud of that! and u are trying school good for u too! ive been trying and failing to go back to school for 4 years....give yourself some much deserved credit girl! stay strong
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
