Still Very Hard!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Belton, MO
Posts: 18
Still Very Hard!
I am so glad I found this forum. I ran into a good friend of my XABF last night. They have been friends for a very long time and her feelings about the situation mirror my own. I suggested this site to her.
He called me last night. He was drunk. I knew he would be before I answered. He could barely even get his words out. At one point in the conversation he actually said "who is this, I can't remember who I called." It really breaks my heart. To see anyone like that. I kept the conversation short and I told him have a good night and hung up. It was easier than it has been in the past. I used to feel the need to go to his house and take care of him. I was always worried that he was going to hurt himself, or pass out and choke on his own vomit. But I can't be there everytime he drinks. So I am still detaching. Its hard. I still love him and it kills me when he tells me that he thinks no one cares about him. Hoping I don't hear from him tonight because I am feeling weak right now.
He called me last night. He was drunk. I knew he would be before I answered. He could barely even get his words out. At one point in the conversation he actually said "who is this, I can't remember who I called." It really breaks my heart. To see anyone like that. I kept the conversation short and I told him have a good night and hung up. It was easier than it has been in the past. I used to feel the need to go to his house and take care of him. I was always worried that he was going to hurt himself, or pass out and choke on his own vomit. But I can't be there everytime he drinks. So I am still detaching. Its hard. I still love him and it kills me when he tells me that he thinks no one cares about him. Hoping I don't hear from him tonight because I am feeling weak right now.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
As hard as it was, I learned to hang up on my EXAH when he called after I realized it was him on the other end. Up till that point I was volunteering to get emotionally twisted over his garbage he talked on the phone. Had caller ID been around back then, I never would have answered.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Belton, MO
Posts: 18
It has been a real struggle. I really thought he was never going to talk to me again. When he called me, it caught me off guard. I was stood up last night by my guitar player who was going to work with me on original music :-( so naturally he was like what are you doing looking for a guitar player when you have one right here. Its terrible but really when I was writing the songs I was thinking of him. His mom has really put the pressure on him lately to get sober and he is really sad about losing his friends. I really miss him.
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