Roosiedoll

It's so hard! But I have been doing so good!! I didn't smoke for two weeks, then I sneaked a couple, I know I'm a horrible person lol, but when you quit using at the same time it's a b*tch!!

One thing that really tees me off is when I try to espress my feelings to my husband, like explain I have a craving and have him try and talk me thru it, he makes me feel guilty by saying "please don't start!!"

Shouldn't he be more supportive? Or say something more supportive? Or am I just being a big baby about this...if you aren't a smoker I can't possibly expect you to understand, but man it's kinda tough! I want to stop though I really do! And I've actually done amazing compared to the pack a day a was smoking!

Thanks for listening

Smokeless

ETA

Quitting smoking sucks! I did it over and over again until it stuck. I love smoking and if I can quit anyone can.

My opinion - I'm not going to say you are being a big baby but you're going to have to do this one on your own. Support might help but (and not to be cheesy) this is an inner battle.

My boyfriend doesn't have a clue about addiction and had no idea how to be supportive. I needed patience and confidence but he was either 'tough love' or made guild trip.

Whatever - I still had to quit.

Don't give up if you snuck a couple - you still have way less physical addiction than when you were smoking a pack a day so don't feel like you are starting all over again.

You're doing awesome!

ETA

Actually I snuck behind his back for about a year so when I quit for real I couldn't even tell him.

indakut

Yes it is!!! I quit both 86 days ago...But not going back. I loved to smoke with a beer, wine or drink in hand. If I can quit, you can too!

Men are just different. They don't get it or get us. Depend and encourage yourself. Otherwise, you will be constantly hurt and upset(which can be triggers for smoking or drinking).

Itchy

Roosie,
Congrats on quitting/trying to quit smoking as well! I did both at the same time as I did an in hospital 7 day detox and why waste that on just one drug I was addicted to (Ethanol.)

I used to have a saying I would tell my spouse when she started telling me I "should" this or "should" that. "I will make a deal with you, I won't "should" on you, if you don't "should" on me. If us alcoholics depended on only spousal support all the time many of us would be up the river without a paddle . . . what river? De Nile! We'd be "should out of Luck!"

What would we do when they weren't there? At work? In the store? Passing by a liquor store, bar, or a smoker outside taking a smoke break? Then what? Blame them because they won't accompany you everywhere every second?

I agree with ETA to a point. We are all, male and female, very difficult to deal with in the first few weeks/months of quitting any addictive substance. Since we have trouble dealing with our own conflicting emotional and physical withdrawal, is it any wonder our significant others are at a loss in how to deal with us trying to make them responsible for our cravings? If you in your mind think your significant other is responsible for your cravings and happiness they will also realize that you will hold them responsible for any failure you have. I certainly don't want that kind of co-dependent responsibility for another. And I am the recovered alcoholic and smoker here. I don't think it has anything to do with gender at all. Once you get support from your own thinking, and share your success with him, you may see a change.


It is up to you. You have to quit for your self.

Roosiedoll

Thank you so much for your feedback! I totally agree with you Itchy, about the "should" thing. My husband tells me all the time that if I had only listened to him than things would have turned out good..but he doesn't realize by him telling ne what to do all the time kindof makes me want to do the opposite??!!

Anyways thanks guys!!