Tealvertigo

I have struggled with substances for a long time. I don't really want to write about them because I have done so a lot before, and am getting help for them. My main concern is my addiction to self-injury, which I have done on and off for years.

I do it for a few reasons. Cutting stimulates me, which is a self-medicating activity for my Hypothyroidism. This disorder causes me to be extremely tired all the time, and pain jolts me awake. It's hard to break the habit for this reason alone; apparently the doctors can't give me anything for my Hypothyroidism yet.

Also, cutting makes me feel better about the guilt that I feel for betraying my mom's trust so much. It makes me feel like I have suffered for what I have done wrong. I feel that the only way to make up for the pain I caused her is to cause myself excruciating pain.

So, I dont know what to do, considering SI is almost never treated in the same way as addiction.

Any ideas? Thanks....

Latte

I don't have any answers for you but I do know that behavioral addictions can be almost if not as devastating as chemical ones.

Welcome to SR. I am so glad you are here.

Tealvertigo

Thank you, though I have been here for a while with a focus on my stimulant (prescription) abuse, which I have abstained from for a year.

Latte

I see that now. I'm sorry I didn't pay more attention there.

That is amazing about your year, congratulations.

Are you in therapy? I know that when my daughter began cutting we got her into a therapist as soon as we could find one that met our requirements (female, experience with addiction etc.)

AndreTT

I constantly bit my nails and pick the skin around my fingertips until they bleed since I was 7-yrs old. Recently I started to think of it as an addiction.

It's very hard to stop

Tealvertigo

Thanks a bunch. I have been in therapy for years. My current therapy is dealing with Cognitive therapy for my OCD. However, there is also a focus on motivation for my sobriety. I am struggling with prescription painkiller abuse, but I know it's a problem and I promised myself I would work on it with a therapist in the next month.

My current counselor helps me with it, but he is more concerned with my tendency to explode in chaos when I go 100% without an outlet for my anguish all of a sudden. He is monitoring my self-injury but wants me to target my OCD and substance abuse for now as a first priority.

I have been hospitalized twice for suicide attempts, and a third time for me seeing myself as a risk to myself. I feel like taking myself to the hospital for a third time before I did anything stupid was one of the best decisions I ever made. Unfortunately, my parents don't feel the same way...

defyinggravity

I struggle with the same thing...have been doing it since college. It's been awhile since I've cut, but it's the one addiction about which I have not been able to say I never want to do it again. I do it for a couple of reasons - because I feel like a "bad person" and that I should be punished, because drugs and alcohol numbed my real feelings, and depression numbed me to the point I felt nothing, ever so I wanted to feel, because it was pain I could control and understand...

The key for me is getting rid of the pain inside that drives me to this behavior. In that regard, therapy is hugely instrumental. I call my therapist when I'm in that panicked state and feel like I need to cut. She helps me disrupt the cycle of thoughts and talk about other things I might be able to do that would help me feel better that wouldn't cause scars. But really just breaking into that cycle (my thoughts start racing and I can't think of a way to stop them) and getting through that moment of panic helps.

Do you have a therapist? Could you consider seeing one that specializes in this? It might be of some help.

defyinggravity

You posted while I was posting Glad you have a therapist - talk to him about things you can do when you feel like you need to cut...my therapist also preferred that I get my addictions under control (she actually said once she'd rather me cut safely than shoot up coke - but that she'd never say that again! )

Dee74

I'm completely unfamiliar with cutting, TV...so I have no suggestions beyond seeking help from a counsellor who works in the 'cutting' area...but I'm glad to see you again

D