A little story
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Arizona
Posts: 51
A little story
I already posted this as a reply to my previous thread..but I thought it could start it's own maybe...
I figured I could do a little testimony just to get everyone up to speed, plus I love feedback and that's why I'm here I could use a little
So I've been sober since 6/3/11, I officially stopped taking my "pills" about 5 weeks before that but was put on suboxone and I quit the subs on 6/3 so I'm cpunting that as my sobriety date. Everything up until then was more like a "taper". I had to quit cold turkey because I spent 15 days in Sheriff Joe Arpaio's notorious jails for a shoplifting stunt, I know embarrassing right? I wish I could say that was the only time I was incarcerated but I'd be lying. I also spent some time there in 2006 for a 1st DUI and sept of 2010 for a 2nd DUI. Needless to say my use has caused me some trouble with the law to say the LEAST.
This last time I went to jail was a bit different...I wasn't housed in the work-release tents where they would let me go home 12hrs a day mon-fri to see my family (which was CAKE!), they housed me inside the dorms with 112 other girls...barely any were first timers...not a fun place for a 27 year old blond mommy. I was scared to DEATH! A fight broke out almost every other day, I was threatened to get "whooped" in the shower numerous times, fed completely inedible food, put on lock down all the time, and the least of my worries were the black and white stripes and pink underwear.
Anyway...I swear I have a point here...so during my 15 days of hell and a few of detoxing off my suboxone I came to the realization that I needed to make some serious changes, I thought I was on my way but boy was I wrong! I went to church as often as I could in there to get away from the girls and the drama and it helped in more ways than one! I knew my addiction was gong to keep bribing me back to jail if I didn't do some massive changes asap! So I told myself I was going to put my recovery first as soon as I got out.
So here I am 3 weeks to the date of going in and I'm doing ok, at first it was really easy because I was so happy to be home I was manic! No one could bring me down..but then life slowly reared it's ugly head..I had to deal with our pending bankruptcy, foreclosure, and baby mama drama (my husbands ex). Plus my husband has no faith that I am going to change, by change I mean stay sober no lying be Mary f*cking sunshine all the time. And he's depressed because of the whole bankruptcy foreclosure being broke thing. You see I stay at home with the kids because I can't get my license back til next month, it's been revoked for a year, plus we only have one car, so it's pretty hard for me to work more than once or twice a week.
So the happiness quickly faded and now I find myself trying toohard to make my depressed husband happy...I can't go to meetings or even church for that matter because of the no car/ride situation. So again I am greatful to have found this site!
Feedback is totally welcome, I don't know if I asked any perticular questions but if you can help me in anyway cope with what's going on I'll greatly appreciate it. Even if you have a similar story I'd love to hear it, heck any story and I'm all yours!!
Thanks for listening
Ready to heal
I figured I could do a little testimony just to get everyone up to speed, plus I love feedback and that's why I'm here I could use a little
So I've been sober since 6/3/11, I officially stopped taking my "pills" about 5 weeks before that but was put on suboxone and I quit the subs on 6/3 so I'm cpunting that as my sobriety date. Everything up until then was more like a "taper". I had to quit cold turkey because I spent 15 days in Sheriff Joe Arpaio's notorious jails for a shoplifting stunt, I know embarrassing right? I wish I could say that was the only time I was incarcerated but I'd be lying. I also spent some time there in 2006 for a 1st DUI and sept of 2010 for a 2nd DUI. Needless to say my use has caused me some trouble with the law to say the LEAST.
This last time I went to jail was a bit different...I wasn't housed in the work-release tents where they would let me go home 12hrs a day mon-fri to see my family (which was CAKE!), they housed me inside the dorms with 112 other girls...barely any were first timers...not a fun place for a 27 year old blond mommy. I was scared to DEATH! A fight broke out almost every other day, I was threatened to get "whooped" in the shower numerous times, fed completely inedible food, put on lock down all the time, and the least of my worries were the black and white stripes and pink underwear.
Anyway...I swear I have a point here...so during my 15 days of hell and a few of detoxing off my suboxone I came to the realization that I needed to make some serious changes, I thought I was on my way but boy was I wrong! I went to church as often as I could in there to get away from the girls and the drama and it helped in more ways than one! I knew my addiction was gong to keep bribing me back to jail if I didn't do some massive changes asap! So I told myself I was going to put my recovery first as soon as I got out.
So here I am 3 weeks to the date of going in and I'm doing ok, at first it was really easy because I was so happy to be home I was manic! No one could bring me down..but then life slowly reared it's ugly head..I had to deal with our pending bankruptcy, foreclosure, and baby mama drama (my husbands ex). Plus my husband has no faith that I am going to change, by change I mean stay sober no lying be Mary f*cking sunshine all the time. And he's depressed because of the whole bankruptcy foreclosure being broke thing. You see I stay at home with the kids because I can't get my license back til next month, it's been revoked for a year, plus we only have one car, so it's pretty hard for me to work more than once or twice a week.
So the happiness quickly faded and now I find myself trying toohard to make my depressed husband happy...I can't go to meetings or even church for that matter because of the no car/ride situation. So again I am greatful to have found this site!
Feedback is totally welcome, I don't know if I asked any perticular questions but if you can help me in anyway cope with what's going on I'll greatly appreciate it. Even if you have a similar story I'd love to hear it, heck any story and I'm all yours!!
Thanks for listening
Ready to heal
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
Hi there! I'm so glad you are here. I look forward to reading your posts. Thank you so much for sharing that story, I know that it will be appreciated here on SR.
I hope to "see" you around here a lot!
I hope to "see" you around here a lot!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
I'm glad you recognize that you need to make serious changes in your life. I had no idea how far off-track my thinking had become and I had a lot of changes to make. And, yes, dealing with real life day-to-day takes some getting used to, but you can learn how to cope.
You can always come here to SR and read stuff.
You can always come here to SR and read stuff.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,954
Hi Roosie.
I don't have much of a story to tell other I did most the things that would drive (jail, emotional breakdowns, ruined life. etc,.) an addict to recovery eventually.
What has helped when I did enter addiction recovery was to have a recovery plan. SMART Recovery has some recovery tools that have helped me and the Big Book is online at AA.Org. Maybe have a look into them. Plus being here at SR is a great addiction to any recovery plan.
I don't have much of a story to tell other I did most the things that would drive (jail, emotional breakdowns, ruined life. etc,.) an addict to recovery eventually.
What has helped when I did enter addiction recovery was to have a recovery plan. SMART Recovery has some recovery tools that have helped me and the Big Book is online at AA.Org. Maybe have a look into them. Plus being here at SR is a great addiction to any recovery plan.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
Originally Posted by Zencat 
Hi Roosie.
I don't have much of a story to tell other I did most the things that would drive (jail, emotional breakdowns, ruined life. etc,.) an addict to recovery eventually.
What has helped when I did enter addiction recovery was to have a recovery plan. SMART Recovery has some recovery tools that have helped me and the Big Book is online at AA.Org. Maybe have a look into them. Plus being here at SR is a great addiction to any recovery plan.
I don't have much of a story to tell other I did most the things that would drive (jail, emotional breakdowns, ruined life. etc,.) an addict to recovery eventually.
What has helped when I did enter addiction recovery was to have a recovery plan. SMART Recovery has some recovery tools that have helped me and the Big Book is online at AA.Org. Maybe have a look into them. Plus being here at SR is a great addiction to any recovery plan.
Bolded because not all recovery should be serious. Thank you for putting a smile on my face.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 957
Hang in there Roosie,
Congrats on being sober since the 3rd of this month. You can do this.
Keep busy, read, clean, go for a walk, whatever, but do not drink or use.
Soon you will have your licence back, then you can find a job then maybe get to some meeting.
Congrats on being sober since the 3rd of this month. You can do this.
Keep busy, read, clean, go for a walk, whatever, but do not drink or use.
Soon you will have your licence back, then you can find a job then maybe get to some meeting.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 8
Rosie- Stay strong! You are worth it. Your kids are worth it. Check out Smart Recovery. They have online meetings and that will tide you over until you can get your driving privileges back. Good work on staying sober for 3 weeks! Thats huge! Im on day 5 now and this site and Smart Recovery have been helping me in huge ways.
Sarah
Sarah
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,954
Originally Posted by Zencat View Post
Hi Roosie.
I don't have much of a story to tell other I did most the things that would drive (jail, emotional breakdowns, ruined life. etc,.) an addict to recovery eventually.
What has helped when I did enter addiction recovery was to have a recovery plan. SMART Recovery has some recovery tools that have helped me and the Big Book is online at AA.Org. Maybe have a look into them. Plus being here at SR is a great addiction to any recovery plan.
Hi Roosie.
I don't have much of a story to tell other I did most the things that would drive (jail, emotional breakdowns, ruined life. etc,.) an addict to recovery eventually.
What has helped when I did enter addiction recovery was to have a recovery plan. SMART Recovery has some recovery tools that have helped me and the Big Book is online at AA.Org. Maybe have a look into them. Plus being here at SR is a great addiction to any recovery plan.
Originally Posted by Latte
Bolded because not all recovery should be serious. Thank you for putting a smile on my face. 
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Originally Posted by Roosiedoll
I can't go to meetings or even church for that matter because of the no car/ride situation.
People at meetings would LOVE to give you a ride, it helps them too... Call your local AA hotline, you'll have a ride tomorrow, I bet... and members of your church would love to help...
Reach out in the real world as you are here...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Arizona
Posts: 51
I need to hitch a ride! Thats a good idea, I think I have some numbers. But another problem I have is my 2 1/2 year old, I've brought her to meetings before and some of the peeps there seemed ticked off by it. She's a little older now so I'm sure she'd be quieter but still she's a toddler you know? And I live in a retirement community basically so everyone at my meeting is mostly 55+ with the occasional youngperson. Although come to think of it, I was at an NA meeting a while back and I brought my daughter and the spokesperson who was probably around my age told me to get a sitter next time...now what do I do??!!
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