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found out my husband is using again

Old 06-22-2011, 07:41 PM
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Unhappy found out my husband is using again

I guess ill start at the beginning. I'm 27 a mother of 2 and 5 months pregnant. My husband is a great father and a pretty good husband. He works hard and helps me around the house. He has had a drug problem in the past before we were married. He actually got to the point of being away for a week and basically turning psycho. We broke up but then he got help and eventually we got back together. Its been over a year since that happened and he has been amazing. Yesterday he was acting weird and I mentioned that it seemed like he was high. Well of course he denied it but I knew the truth. He was cleaning and talking a lot and he had a problem performing. It was awkward. This morning I forgot something at home and came home and when I walked in he was watching porn which is not like him. Being pregnant and walking in to that is kinda devastating. Well I confronted him and he finally admitted he smoked meth. At this point I don't know what to do. He says he will get help but how many times is he gonna mess up and I don't want my kids around it. I wanna help him I'm just not sure I should. Is it smarter to walk away. I'm so hurt and I feel so unloved and so stupid. do I stick by him and support him through this?
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Old 06-22-2011, 07:55 PM
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Wow that's rough! I'm sorry. . I'd take a look at the forum for family members. Do you go to ALANON? Given your situation - kids and pregnant my first reaction is kick him out but of course I have no other info than what's above. In any case the boundaries need to be set ASAP. Take a look at the forum I mentioned and take care of you and the kids!
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Old 06-22-2011, 08:01 PM
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Wow Haleymae, that is a lot to handle. Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up, or blame yourself for his problems, or think you're stupid. You are doing the best you can in an extremely, extremely difficult situation. You have made a great decision in joining this forum. The Newcomers board is great, I also recommend checking things out on the Friends and Family of Substance Abusers board, which you can find here: Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information .
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Old 06-25-2011, 07:18 AM
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Thank u. No im not going to alanon but i am deeply considering it. The hardest part is I grew up with my parents being drug users and i saw them get through it so I have faith in him. He actually started going to na meetings yesterday and I really hope they help. I'm going to definitely look into the other forum. This is something I need to keep talking about through the entire process and its hard to talk to friendsand family because i don't want them to judge him or I. I just pray he can get through this because when not using he really is an amazing person!
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Old 06-25-2011, 07:25 AM
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Oh and I did set boundaries i told him he could choose drugs or his family. He's a grown man and I'm not going to stand in front of what he chooses to do but if he chooses drugs i won't put my kids through what i went through and I'm not scared to be a single mom. Hopefully he respects that and doesn't just do it behind my back but growing up around it I know the signs better than anything.
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