enodm

So, I have posted here many times before regarding my AS, but I have a different questions this time.
My 20 step daughter's mother is an addict and left 13 years ago, she calls every 6 months and is typically high when she calls and expects the girls to not be angry or wonder what in the hell she wants. My step daughter is not willing to go to counseling or Alanon, what words of wisdom do I give her. We talk about everything and she calls me mom, but she still has so much understandable anger.

Seren

(((enodm))) How wonderful that she has you to talk to! I have no words of wisdom, just hugs. Hopefully if she keeps talking to you and her father, she will eventually open up to receive the help she may need in the future.

Hugs and prayers for you all! HG

Ann

At 20 years old, she should be able to make her own decision whether to talk to her or not. I don't mean to suggest that you are making her take the call, what I mean is that maybe you could talk to her and let her know that it's okay to refuse the call. She may feel guilty about doing that.

And then let her decide.

She is blessed to have you to talk to.

Hugs

Kindeyes

Perhaps you can talk to her about forgiveness and how holding on to that pain and anger is doing more damage to her than it is to her Mother. Once I got that, I was able to find huge relief.

And I agree with Ann. If a parent is constantly stepping on a boundary (calling while high), your step daughter has the right to establish a boundary and stick to it. Parents don't get a "pass" regarding stepping on boundaries.

She's lucky that she has such a wonderful and understanding step Mom. You are a light in her life.

gentle hugs
ke