Abbzi

Evening all..

Im still working on day one....

I made it to 7pm without a drink..[a day of head talk..lol] for me at the moment 7pm is a stretch...Id been shaking etc for a few hours... so when my daughter had a shower I thought Id have a wine to take the edge off...got through half

Then someone knocks on the door [instant fear for me] It was an old ex-employee, AA mate.. seems I facebooked another AA mate last night to go to a meeting... so long story short, I went...

Holy cow... the meeting was on honesty....not my forte....I listened so hard.. I spoke about where Im at..absolutely hopeless. ...I met up with a girl I respect very much and going to a meeting tomorrow night with her... Ive promised myself [has never worked before lol] but that I will get to that meeting sober....

I cant believe Im back to doing 10mins at a time.. but I am...

I have a personality that needs structure and goals.. while I drink I have none... I kept seeing the slogans on the wall tonight and one was 'Easy does it'...so I dont want to overburden myself with solving all my problems if that makes sense......so Ive written down [now on the fridge] tomorrows goal.. is to cook soup.. this will be hard for me but its doable..Im so malnourished.. and to get to a meeting with my g/f...

Hope all this makes sense... basically Im going back to basics and being honest with myself..which is most important to me... and Im grateful for a forum that allows me to express that.... thanks all...Abbzi

1undone

Abbzi, glad you are here. Basically the more support you can get your hands on frome other alcoholics the better off you'll be. Go to as many meetings as you can because I've found that even if there is repetition in them SOMEONE will say something that applies to you and your own situation that will help you understand why you use and help you feel understood.

Sounds like the obsession is alive and strong in you. Have you seen a doctor?

FNB3

Honesty in all of your interactions with others and yourself is the key to it all if you ask me. When I lie about anything it just gets that ball of negativity rolling to disaster.

GettingStronger2

Well, there was a lot of honesty in your post. See, you can do it, just take baby steps.

Get to that meeting and be sober. And if you have to do it 5 minutes at a time, that is what you do. While at the meeting, listen. When you hear from someone who sounds like they are living a happy and sober life, inquire about sponsorship. Get working the steps, the sooner the better.

Missy7

You are lucky to have such a strong network to help you make sure you get where and what you need. I wish someone would knock on my door and take me to a meeting...it would really help.

Anna

That's a great idea, to take things slowly.

I was so wiped out in the first week of my sobriety that I made very small, simple goals for each day and it really helped me to see that was accomplishing something.

Abbzi

FNB3..Im screwed without honesty..

Abbzi

Undone... yes i have a doc... but ive been too busy killing myself to catch up with him

Abbzi

Missy.. I needed to hear that...I need to think.. I do have good straight mates... I need to let them in