serious

today i feel like i am about to start something brand new. although, i am simply doing the same thing except not being hungover and without alcohol in any way shape or form.

i am beginning day 8 and at the same time coming back to work (which i had to put off for health reasons related to "you know what"). i can't understand why, but i am extremely anxious about the coming day, although i like my job and i have great friends there. the anxiety, however, is through the roof... i have a bit of hard time typing even.

p.s. the weekend was smooth and even fun. i manged to hang out with a friend at a bar 3 times, go to out to eat (finally) without any temptation whatsoever. i should be very thankful because a week ago at this moment i was in the ER being brought back to life.

bratnik

Have a great day, Serious! Take things slow and deliberately. You can do it Great job on 9 days - it's great what a week can bring in positive changes! and yay for no monday morning hangover!

TheTinMan

Congrats on your 8 days! Hang in there and stay strong.

Missy7

I get that kind of anxiety too, and it makes it hard to function. What I know is that nothing is as hard as I imagine it to be, and tomorrow will be a better day. So walk through today one freakin' step at a time. Do what you have to. You will be back home before you know it.

serious

thank you... about half a day had passed, and "nothing" happened things actually went way smoother than i was imagining. at this stage i better have anxiety, because my mind/body is beginning to wake up. it's the anticipation of something unknown, or better said, forgotten. killing myself with liquor did not seem to bother me one bit, yet walking to the parking lot made me nervous... how silly.

Forward75

isn't it nice to not be miserable at work?

Missy7

So how are you doing? I'm sitting here just off a stupid stunt. There's half a bottle of wine in the kitchen. I'm gonna have to put it down the drain next time I leave the couch--or I'll drink it.

instant

SErious pleased the day worked out well. I have found the strories I tell myslef need to be taken with a grain of salt. Feeling vulnerable and raw is part of the deal of giving up- The long timers here are testament to the fact that confidence can come with sobreity in time

Zencat

Good going on day 8 Serious!

Yep, it is silly how I could tempt fate with my reckless drunken behavior and find doing something mundane is nerve racking...LOL.

Reed22

congrats on day 8 serious!

Dee74

I'm glad the day is going ok serious - congratulations on your progress

D

serious

thank you all for the kind support. i couldn't have done that without SR (i would be having a drink by now again, i am sure). the stories and replies keep me inspired and desiring to do better and stay sober.

Missy7, i am doing a helluva lot better than this morning. i was literally sweating from nervousness when i arrived to the office. now i feel like a brand new person. work is good, keeping busy is good, anything to get your mind out of constant contemplating about this or that. thankfully i have some great people around me that even with stupid comments or jokes, etc. or some problem solving will totally switch me from thinking about my feelings to get my mind distracted. and about the wine... i would pour it out, why have the temptation right next to you? pour it out and chase that event with a glass of water

serious

so i did have a petty bad relapse after being sober for a while.

i slept little in a long time, but today is day 2.
thanks for my family being here for me. i would not make it alone this weekend. i hate to put them through this, especially after they all saw how wonderful my life has been in recent times.

moderation is not an option, i managed to moderate (no more than 2-3 drinks) for a while until i just went "insane" and went back to my old ways.

Sapling

Sorry to hear that...What kept you sober for 10+ months?...And why did it stop working?

serious

i was sober, because i didn't enjoy drinking anymore. i saw great improvement in my health and life and realized that all my "troubles" were caused by alcohol. staying sober was actually easy, refusing alcohol at parties made me feel proud.

false sense of control made me try to moderate... then i my friend died, and i lost it.

prior to my first real attempt to quit the longest i'd go without booze was maybe 4-5 days. i was a heavy daily drinker for nearly 10 years, so being sober for almost a year made me think... i could try and drink again. HA!

Sapling

It is pretty amazing how many times you hear that...They cover that in the Big Book of AA so it's nothing new....Guess you have to give it another shot...Good luck to you!