LeadHatter

i do it quite a bit

EveningRose

Depriving yourself of what? Anything you like or enjoy? I guess by doing one little thing you enjoy. Buy yourself a latte. Take yourself out to a movie you like. Just do it.

LeadHatter

In this case i was responding to the daily reading of 'the language of letting go'. Its rich pickings and sometimes helpful, but it is sometimes a little more advanced for me.

Sometimes i want to 'treat' myself by going out but i feel my father say 'your a rotter you just love to suffer' so i stay indoors. I figured maybe because of horrible memories im transposing that feeling onto all people so stay in and avoid people-i know thats not healthy.

EveningRose

Sounds like what we were just talking about in the other thread, parents telling you who you are. Go out and do what you enjoy regardless. Bit by bit, you'll meet people apart from your family and start getting more realistic feedback. As you distance yourself from toxicity, you'll start to be able to see yourself more clearly.

LeadHatter

EveningRose & LuvInDaisy thanks

I'm reading on into my Adult Child of Alcoholics Book, my codependent no more book and some other books along with 12 step philosophy its helping.

Lala03044

[COLOR="Navy"][/COLOR[IMG][/IMG]Hi,

One way I continue to deprive myself is by isolating. This defense mechanism no longer works for me in adult life.

When things trouble me, I tend to stuff it all inside and isolate. The phone is soooo heavy. It feels like the only safe place to share real feelings is in meetings.

My mother still minimizes my feelings. But I don't need her approval or permission to be my own loving parent.

I think for me, I need to schedule fun in my life.
Put "call an alanon friend " on my to do list and just do it.

Good luck,