Hello everyone - Working Day 4
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
Hello everyone - Working Day 4
Just stumbled upon this forum...I've been lurking for the past 2 or 3 days and have found a lot of helpful information and distraction here.
Decided today that signing up and posting would be a meaningful gesture of my commitment to the process.
I'm 42. Over the past 20 years I've seen a gradual progression in my own alcohol use that I've finally admitted to be unmanageable. I've gone from drinking at parties and social gatherings to drinking most days and really getting at it on the weekends or if I'm apart from my family(wife and two boys). I have no doubt that my situation would be much worse were it not for my family situation.
Over the weekend I was on a business trip and got a bit(a lot) out of hand. I came home feeling horrible about everything and determined to take control of this thing! My last drink was Sunday evening at about 9pm.
Monday night I woke up in a pool of sweat and was surprised to learn that this is a common detox symptom caused by alcohol withdrawal. At this point I wasn't even really labeling myself as "alcoholic" so this was a startling discovery for me. Since then, things have been much better...I feel very good during the day but do seem to get tired and irritible as the day progresses. I've also had headaches on and off. I've hadn't had anymore night sweats though which is good and actually had a really good sleep last night.
I have a good friend that quit about 10 years ago and is a regular AA member. We've agreed to get together tomorrow for a coffee and a talk. He's going to recommend some AA meetings in my area that he's found to be good .
I haven't told anyone else in my life yet - my wife included. I'm sure she's noticed and will ask at some point. I guess I'd just like to get as far along as I can before I put it out there for her to be a part of. I guess I'm afraid of putting it out there and then failing - the guilt/shame/etc. would be tenfold...
So, hello to each of you and thanks for reading my post. Any encouragement of advice that you can offer would be more than welcome. I am quickly realizing that support is going to be an important part of this undertaking.
I do feel that I've got my head in the right place and instead of being worried about all the fun I'll be missing out on, I'm actually excited about all the doors that this is going to open up for me to improve my life in a myriad of ways.
I'll shut up now...thanks!
Decided today that signing up and posting would be a meaningful gesture of my commitment to the process.
I'm 42. Over the past 20 years I've seen a gradual progression in my own alcohol use that I've finally admitted to be unmanageable. I've gone from drinking at parties and social gatherings to drinking most days and really getting at it on the weekends or if I'm apart from my family(wife and two boys). I have no doubt that my situation would be much worse were it not for my family situation.
Over the weekend I was on a business trip and got a bit(a lot) out of hand. I came home feeling horrible about everything and determined to take control of this thing! My last drink was Sunday evening at about 9pm.
Monday night I woke up in a pool of sweat and was surprised to learn that this is a common detox symptom caused by alcohol withdrawal. At this point I wasn't even really labeling myself as "alcoholic" so this was a startling discovery for me. Since then, things have been much better...I feel very good during the day but do seem to get tired and irritible as the day progresses. I've also had headaches on and off. I've hadn't had anymore night sweats though which is good and actually had a really good sleep last night.
I have a good friend that quit about 10 years ago and is a regular AA member. We've agreed to get together tomorrow for a coffee and a talk. He's going to recommend some AA meetings in my area that he's found to be good .
I haven't told anyone else in my life yet - my wife included. I'm sure she's noticed and will ask at some point. I guess I'd just like to get as far along as I can before I put it out there for her to be a part of. I guess I'm afraid of putting it out there and then failing - the guilt/shame/etc. would be tenfold...
So, hello to each of you and thanks for reading my post. Any encouragement of advice that you can offer would be more than welcome. I am quickly realizing that support is going to be an important part of this undertaking.
I do feel that I've got my head in the right place and instead of being worried about all the fun I'll be missing out on, I'm actually excited about all the doors that this is going to open up for me to improve my life in a myriad of ways.
I'll shut up now...thanks!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 426
Hi Tipping Point - Congratulations on taking the first step and welcome to the class of June 2011. I have found this board offers tons of support, advice, inspiration and wisdom.
My husband does not know the extent of what my drinking had become and I'm not ready to tell him yet. In the past I have gone down the road of "i'm never going to drink again" and that just set me up for failure because it was just too darn overwhelming. This time, I told him I've stopped drinking for my health (need to go to the Dr. after a 3 year hiatus due to being to scared of the results - something else he doesn't really know of the extent) and I'm leaving it at that for the time being. Once I gain enough strength and stability I plan on opening up more about it. And good for you for reaching out to your friend.
You aren't alone and don't have to keep things secret here. People are super friendly and supportive and NON-JUDGEMENTAL which is awesome. Hope you keep posting.
My husband does not know the extent of what my drinking had become and I'm not ready to tell him yet. In the past I have gone down the road of "i'm never going to drink again" and that just set me up for failure because it was just too darn overwhelming. This time, I told him I've stopped drinking for my health (need to go to the Dr. after a 3 year hiatus due to being to scared of the results - something else he doesn't really know of the extent) and I'm leaving it at that for the time being. Once I gain enough strength and stability I plan on opening up more about it. And good for you for reaching out to your friend.
You aren't alone and don't have to keep things secret here. People are super friendly and supportive and NON-JUDGEMENTAL which is awesome. Hope you keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: God's Grace
Posts: 2,464
When I first sobered up in 1996 I drank alot of iced tea for several days then went to AA, got a sponser, talked with her everyday, read in the big book and tried to live one day at a time. If you do not have an Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book there is one on-line that may help you.
Big Book Online Fourth Edition
Big Book Online Fourth Edition
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 526
Tippingpoint, you are two hours ahead of me on the path to sobriety 
...
by your post it sounds like you are headed in the right direction, congrats on that!
it also sounds like your withdrawal is not too bad, waking up in a pool of sweat is a piece of cake, compared to some other symptoms. actually it's a good thing, your body is getting rid of poison.
when you are ready to confess... at least tell your wife, it will be a load off your mind.
best of luck!
... by your post it sounds like you are headed in the right direction, congrats on that!
it also sounds like your withdrawal is not too bad, waking up in a pool of sweat is a piece of cake, compared to some other symptoms. actually it's a good thing, your body is getting rid of poison.
when you are ready to confess... at least tell your wife, it will be a load off your mind.
best of luck!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
On telling my wife - I think I'm going to wait that one out till she brings it up. And I don't even know why that is. I'm not worried that she's going to react badly at all - I know that she'll be 100% supportive and happy for me and us. I suppose it's more about me...tiny steps are okay too.
Had a good night tonight...going to be soon. I'm a bit worried about the weekend but will do my very best to get through it. Might try and do my first AA meeting tomorrow - that's another big step...yikes.
Thanks everyone.
Had a good night tonight...going to be soon. I'm a bit worried about the weekend but will do my very best to get through it. Might try and do my first AA meeting tomorrow - that's another big step...yikes.
Thanks everyone.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Welcome Tip...I agree with you. You tell your wife when you feel the time is right. Life is about timing and sequence. If you don't feel quite ready to spill the beans then don't. You will know when you should.
I had the same situation with my brother...far different from 'a wife' but I shared the same feelings. I knew he'd be supportive. He's done counseling, worked in the medical field, was a chaplin in the AirForce and a minister for years. I didn't have a 'fear' of telling him but a feeling of finality. He is my older brother, all I have...once I tell him my life changes and because of his success' in life I needed to do the same. I couldn't fail my big brother.
The time came...I was ready...I dialed the number...he just happened to be home and we talked for 2 hours. His main advice was just to work my program...everyday.
It wasn't that bad, I felt a sense of relief but I was far enough into my sobriety that I was strong and knew I was able to heed his advice.
Everything happens for a reason and in due time...glad you're here.
I had the same situation with my brother...far different from 'a wife' but I shared the same feelings. I knew he'd be supportive. He's done counseling, worked in the medical field, was a chaplin in the AirForce and a minister for years. I didn't have a 'fear' of telling him but a feeling of finality. He is my older brother, all I have...once I tell him my life changes and because of his success' in life I needed to do the same. I couldn't fail my big brother.
The time came...I was ready...I dialed the number...he just happened to be home and we talked for 2 hours. His main advice was just to work my program...everyday.
It wasn't that bad, I felt a sense of relief but I was far enough into my sobriety that I was strong and knew I was able to heed his advice.
Everything happens for a reason and in due time...glad you're here.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our recovery community.....TippingPoing and Serious....
..
this really can be the beginning of your new non drinking future...and I hope it will....
We can and do recover
..this really can be the beginning of your new non drinking future...and I hope it will....
We can and do recover
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Hi tipping point and serious. I am going into my 5th weekend without alcohol. The strong feelings I used to have on Friday are not there today . At this time on Friday I have usually picked up my alcohol and come home with the sense of anticipation (tinged with dread over the last few years). I am free of all that today and all the worry I had associated with it.
Wishing you peace of mind
Wishing you peace of mind
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
Originally Posted by EmeraldRose 
Welcome Tip...I agree with you. You tell your wife when you feel the time is right. Life is about timing and sequence. If you don't feel quite ready to spill the beans then don't. You will know when you should.
I had the same situation with my brother...far different from 'a wife' but I shared the same feelings. I knew he'd be supportive. He's done counseling, worked in the medical field, was a chaplin in the AirForce and a minister for years. I didn't have a 'fear' of telling him but a feeling of finality. He is my older brother, all I have...once I tell him my life changes and because of his success' in life I needed to do the same. I couldn't fail my big brother.
Everything happens for a reason and in due time...glad you're here.
I had the same situation with my brother...far different from 'a wife' but I shared the same feelings. I knew he'd be supportive. He's done counseling, worked in the medical field, was a chaplin in the AirForce and a minister for years. I didn't have a 'fear' of telling him but a feeling of finality. He is my older brother, all I have...once I tell him my life changes and because of his success' in life I needed to do the same. I couldn't fail my big brother.
Everything happens for a reason and in due time...glad you're here.
I'm looking forward to a day off of work today. I'll get the kids to school, go for a good, long run. I'm supposed to meet up with my AA friend today and maybe even go to a meeting.
Thanks to everyone for all the great support. This forum has been very helpful to me over the past few days.
Today is day 5.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
Well...that didn't last long. My wife was leaving to go to work this morning and I went over and gave her a kiss. She thanked me for all the extra work around the house I've been doing this week. Well, I guess she saw something in my face and asked if everything was alright. I told her that everything was fine but couldnt keep the tears from coming.
She feared the worst of course - infidelity at the very least - she was actually relieved when she found out the truth! We had a nice little talk on the front porch while the kids ate their breakfast inside the house.
I basically told her that I need to learn to control it or I need to quit it altogether. I didn't use the "A" word and I told her that I wasn't sure if my intention was to quit forever or for just a while...that I would simply see where it went. This feels about right to me. Very happy with this turn of events.
Thanks again to all of you.
She feared the worst of course - infidelity at the very least - she was actually relieved when she found out the truth! We had a nice little talk on the front porch while the kids ate their breakfast inside the house.
I basically told her that I need to learn to control it or I need to quit it altogether. I didn't use the "A" word and I told her that I wasn't sure if my intention was to quit forever or for just a while...that I would simply see where it went. This feels about right to me. Very happy with this turn of events.
Thanks again to all of you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
TippingPoint -
Congrats on telling the wife. I was about to respond that taking away "failure as an option" is the BEST reason to tell your wife.
At any rate we are here if you need support.
Congrats on telling the wife. I was about to respond that taking away "failure as an option" is the BEST reason to tell your wife.
At any rate we are here if you need support.
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Good deed, TP. To withhold at that point would have invited unnecessary problems. Now its in the open, and you can talk to her about it more if you decide to. The decision definitely affects marriage and family, but so does the problem, whether we admit that to ourselves or not.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
