skippernlilg

H-Hungry? No,

A-Angry? Not sure.

L-Lonely. Maybe.

T-Tired? Most definitely.

Ok, self care: In sorting this out, emotionally as well as just taking care of the basics of medical care, feels really complicated today.

My blood pressure is still up and out of control. Echocardiogram yesterday revealed a hole in my heart that is probably congenital, a leaky mitral valve, and a more leaky tricuspid valve. Ok, so now we know. What do we do about it? I don't know. I just know these tests and questions are wearing me out. Going to work and school and raising my child...boy, so much. Feel tired today.

I've gone to my spiritual places and emotionally feel drained.

Then Mr. No Contact, exABF did send me a message today. He said he hopes we both get better soon. Yeah, one thing we can agree on! I had to put my response here so that it doesn't go anywhere else.

Thanks for listening.

m1k3

When I get in a funk I just remember my AWs last binge before I left. One of my favorite memories is her staggering into the kitchen to get something to eat. I think it was day 3 of the binge. She couldn't figure how to put her housecoat on so it was in this big lump on her shoulders like a giant purple hump. She grabs a sandwich from the frig but can't figure out how to get it off the plate because its covered in plastic wrap. I help her with that because I'd rather not have broken glass in the kitchen if see decides to throw the plate.

Another favorite is her sitting on the couch eating Pistachios, shell and all. CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH... I finally took them from her because I couldn't stand the sound any more.

Ahh, good times.

Tuffgirl

This may be a ridiculous question, skipper, but can you take some time off from school and work? Just take a few days and stay home and rest. I seem to need this about once a month...and it is most helpful to recharge myself.

So sorry about the health problems...that sounds scary!

m1k3

Sorry Skipper, I was in a bit of a funk there myself and glossed over your health problems. I was doing some research on this and from what I read it is rather common and not usually dangerous. I hope the testing goes well. The fear of the unknown can be draining.

I agree with TG, maybe you can get some time off and recharge your batteries.

You are in my prayers.

(((hugs)))

LaPinturaBella

Oh Skipper!!! That does sound scary. You are in my prayers that this is fixable with the least amount of fuss possible. Please keep us posted.

Tired...you need a good nap! Can you send your kidlet to a family member or a friend for a couple of hours? I think you need more than a couple of hours but that would be a start.

Take care sweetie! I mean that literally!

skippernlilg

Thanks, Tuffgirl. I agree a few days is much needed. I took off work today and just went to part of class tonight. I will have a three day weekend this weekend, so maybe I've just got the Hump Day Funk....!

That suggestion is wise, and I always seek wise counsel. :day6

skippernlilg

No, Mike, I was right there with ya! I laughed at the scene you described in the sick, only-Codie way I can, and then THANKED HP!!! None of that here for sure!!

Yes, I saw that none of this is life threatening or anything, other than the constant high blood pressure, and that there's got to be an easy solution. In the meantime, I just feel tired a lot of the time.

And the laugh you gave me is really the Best Medicine right now, so I really Thank you!

skippernlilg

You're so very sweet, LPB.

I think it sounds scarier than it is on paper...it just feels tiring. I think every single one of us here got Tired of being Tired, you know?

I just want to be over being physically tired, and I know my emotions and spirits will be ok, too.

Faith, right? Faith!!

Oh, and that kidlet o' mine? He's pretty good at letting me rest, and I am getting better at not feeling guilty about resting when I need it. I do have some former inlaws here in town who love to whisk him away if I ask them to do so. That's a great idea.

LexieCat

Aw, sorry you're so tired. Hope you're soon a more chipper skipper.

Big hugs,