dollydo

My exabf has been gone for 3 years.

While he was here, I learned that everything small and of value had to be locked up. So, I put the majority of my good jewelry (what I had left) either in the safety deposit box or locked with my purse in the trunk of my car.

Well, after he left, I continued the process. I would go to the box and exchange jewelry out. Strange huh? I finally decided to bring all my treasures home and sort thru them.

All of a sudden I realized that another ring was missing, It was my grandmothers ring and had alot of memories attached to it.

I was angry, I was stompin around the house calling my ex every name in the book that I could remember (I learned most of them from him). This went on for at least 1/2 hour, I finally settled down and continued to sort my stuff, the ring was gone, he got it.

Sorting done, I proceed to put my jewelry in my box, has lots of drawers, I open the last one....and....there is the ring, guess I took it out of the box, wore it, and put it in the jewelry box. Why would I do that? I haven't used that box in over 5 years! Oops!

This little tirade made me realize that I still am not over the effects of living with an addict, how deeply his actions are forever engrained in me.

Yes, I am in a better place, but, there is still work to be done. I think I have forgiven, yet, I wonder if I will ever forget? Then I ask myself, should I? Remembering might help keep me from making the same mistake again.

Yep, its official, I am "Still Crazy In Florida"

MsPINKAcres

((Dolly))
YEAH!! you still have the ring!!

Doing the happy dance instead of the "I'm gonna kick me an ex ah bootie" dance!!

I truly understand about that "work still to be done" ~ 3 yrs PINKFULLY FREE and somedays I still take my cell phone & car keys to the restroom with me (and that's in my own house - but hey y'all understand that don't ya? :rotfxko )

PINK HUGS,
Rita

Seren

Yeah, even when we do move our lives back to "normie-ville" we are still left with the "crazy-ville" habits!!!:rotfxko

Glad that the ring was found, though!!!!

dorton

Sometimes I think I have post traumatic stress disorder from my son's drug use. I pray everyday he is doing as well as he seems. But I also go over board at the slightest thing. He once asked me if he was ever going to be allowed to be in a bad mood just because. I told him no because his moods are my biggest warning sign that he is using. It is sad that they don't realize that they have forever changed the lives of all who love them. I, for one, will never look at life the same again.

Ann

I think part of the scars we carry are the triggers that situations like this set off.

I can still get triggered, but at least today it doesn't take me long to realize what is happening and then I can change my thought process to something more peaceful.

I'm glad you found your ring. I know the feeling all too well of something we treasure for sentimental reasons just disappearing from under our nose.

This is where "acceptance" helps...but the sad thing is that this is when "acceptance" is really really hard.

I envy you in wonderful Florida. It's such a lovely state and where I try to spend my winters.

Hugs

justjo

Dolly Im glad you found the ring too. Im one who is "crazy in Australia". Do you know that I still take my handbag into the bathroom with me when Im having a shower? and Im the only one in the house.
I use to do that with my jewellry too, swap it around and loose things

but i dont do that one anymore. I guess time will help with my trust issues.
JJ

outonalimb

Well Miss Dolly...you've got a crazy friend up here in Michigan so I guess we've got the North and South just about covered...

I'm glad you found your ring.

Isn't it amazing how quickly it can all come flooding back? The anger...the fear...

Thank God we've got the tools to rein ourselves back in when we need to!

dollydo

Doton,

What you stated is so true for me also: "They don't realize that they have forever changed the lives of all who love them. I, for one, will never look at life the same again."

I am not the same person that I was before I got involved with my exabf, and I never will be. The experience was so toxic that it has forever changed my viewpoint, and, not for the better.

MsPINKAcres

I only recently stopped hiding my purse - so hanging in there - it may happen one day!

So now it's just the phone, keys & me using the facilities

I'm in Louisiana - so I got Cajun Country covered for the craziness!

butterflyflight

Glad you found your ring...I never found mine. I still double lock up, sleep with my keys and purse and check my wallet repeatedly for debit card. Just hearing his voice when Im speaking to my son at his Aunts house, will have me either pacing or shivering for an hour, and driving past him on the street, much worse.

dollydo

Butterfly,

I know that feeling, a couple of months ago I was heading to a doctors appointment and I spot exabf sitting on a bench waiting for a bus. I immediately broke out in a cold sweat.

Got to the doc's, they took my BP it was 165/105. I don't have high BP, this was a reaction to seeing my ex.