12 yrs sober and the feeling of loneliness
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Ajax Ontario
Posts: 16
12 yrs sober and the feeling of loneliness
Hi im new here and am glad that I found this site.
Im 12 years sober now and basically quit cold turkey as they say.
No help from doctors or AA or the such. Today I have never felt so alone before.
Today I realized that I have become as they say antisocial.
At first I removed myself from all friends and quit my job to begin my sobriety as I thought this was needed.
It did work and my first few years of sobriety where no problem as I focused on my new job and my family.
I basically stayed away from any social event that could involve booze. This of course continued throughout my life and up to today.
I recently went to a wedding and was struggling to stay, I just wanted my home where I was safe and no chance of relapse.
Im amazed that after 12 years I still feel like I have to drink to be social. Anyone ready to stop their addiction should get help. Dont do it on your own.
Im now on edge thinking that going back will fix things somehow. My mind is clear enough to know thats not how to fix my problem. What I need is support from people.
It feels great to tell my little bit and am thinking on attending an AA meeting to meet others like myself.
This site has great stories to make me feel like im not so alone. Thank you.
Im 12 years sober now and basically quit cold turkey as they say.
No help from doctors or AA or the such. Today I have never felt so alone before.
Today I realized that I have become as they say antisocial.
At first I removed myself from all friends and quit my job to begin my sobriety as I thought this was needed.
It did work and my first few years of sobriety where no problem as I focused on my new job and my family.
I basically stayed away from any social event that could involve booze. This of course continued throughout my life and up to today.
I recently went to a wedding and was struggling to stay, I just wanted my home where I was safe and no chance of relapse.
Im amazed that after 12 years I still feel like I have to drink to be social. Anyone ready to stop their addiction should get help. Dont do it on your own.
Im now on edge thinking that going back will fix things somehow. My mind is clear enough to know thats not how to fix my problem. What I need is support from people.
It feels great to tell my little bit and am thinking on attending an AA meeting to meet others like myself.
This site has great stories to make me feel like im not so alone. Thank you.
hI Derrick
I changed my life too - I don't go out as much and I tend to avoid bars or occasions where the focus is on drinking too...but for me thats a personal choice, not a fear based decision: I worked hard on myself over the last 4 years and I can honestly say I feel comfortable as a non drinker.
I hope joining us and exploring AA can give you that same level of confidence and comfort Derrick - welcome!
D
I changed my life too - I don't go out as much and I tend to avoid bars or occasions where the focus is on drinking too...but for me thats a personal choice, not a fear based decision: I worked hard on myself over the last 4 years and I can honestly say I feel comfortable as a non drinker.
I hope joining us and exploring AA can give you that same level of confidence and comfort Derrick - welcome!
D
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Im now on edge thinking that going back will fix things somehow. My mind is clear enough to know thats not how to fix my problem. What I need is support from people.
It feels great to tell my little bit and am thinking on attending an AA meeting to meet others like myself.
This site has great stories to make me feel like im not so alone. Thank you.
It feels great to tell my little bit and am thinking on attending an AA meeting to meet others like myself.
This site has great stories to make me feel like im not so alone. Thank you.
keep coming back here to SR. This place definitely makes me know I'm not in recovery alone.
Welcome !!!!
Hi Derrick,
Welcome, and you are definitely not alone.
Like Dee, I don't go out as much now either, but I like it that way. And, I work on recovery every day and it's an ongoing process.
I hope you find the support you're looking for.
Welcome, and you are definitely not alone.
Like Dee, I don't go out as much now either, but I like it that way. And, I work on recovery every day and it's an ongoing process.
I hope you find the support you're looking for.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Ajax Ontario
Posts: 16
Welcome Derrick - way to go on your time sober! 12 years is quite an accomplishment!
I still go out socially when I have to - I just leave earlier than I used to and that's OK with me. I found out that I just don't enjoy standing around talking (or having to think of things to talk about!). I also found out that drunk people are not nearly as much fun as they think they are....!
On the other hand, I really enjoy the company of people in recovery. You might want to check out AA - it's really important for us to have and give support to each other. Glad you're here!
I still go out socially when I have to - I just leave earlier than I used to and that's OK with me. I found out that I just don't enjoy standing around talking (or having to think of things to talk about!). I also found out that drunk people are not nearly as much fun as they think they are....!
On the other hand, I really enjoy the company of people in recovery. You might want to check out AA - it's really important for us to have and give support to each other. Glad you're here!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
Good job at staying sober for 12 years. Go to meetup.com and look for a group of people that you have an interest in. A lot of the meets does not involve a bar or drinking. I think you will find that more enjoying then going to AA and talking about drinking and problems when you don't have a problem with staying away from alcohol. But that's my 2 cents. But that's up to you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Wow great experience and advice to share!
I had a friend who had 8 years abstinence, same feelings and strategy as you have shared...went to AA, did the work, got into meetings, made new friends then said why the hell did no-one tell me about this 8 years ago?!
It's very difficult sometimes to get across to the newcomer that just stopping drinking isn't the answer, we all drank because of something inside and if we don't get help and change then the best case scenario is we stay dry and just get through each day as best we can...who the hell wants to live like that? And the worst thing is that the individual doesn't have to live like that, it is only themselves forcing a new prison on themselves but this one doesn't serve beer!
Good to hear your story and hope you get to that AA meeting soon...watch out for more crazy advice which will ensure that you take a different route from the one you have already identified as the best for you:-)
I had a friend who had 8 years abstinence, same feelings and strategy as you have shared...went to AA, did the work, got into meetings, made new friends then said why the hell did no-one tell me about this 8 years ago?!
It's very difficult sometimes to get across to the newcomer that just stopping drinking isn't the answer, we all drank because of something inside and if we don't get help and change then the best case scenario is we stay dry and just get through each day as best we can...who the hell wants to live like that? And the worst thing is that the individual doesn't have to live like that, it is only themselves forcing a new prison on themselves but this one doesn't serve beer!
Good to hear your story and hope you get to that AA meeting soon...watch out for more crazy advice which will ensure that you take a different route from the one you have already identified as the best for you:-)
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 413
Hi there,
I have heard of people in AA who quit without any help and didnt attend any treatment for years and years. They refer to this phase of their lives as the untreated alcoholism part of their sobriety.
I think that it is fantastic that you have done 12 years of sobriety and wish you a long and happy life without alcohol
I have heard of people in AA who quit without any help and didnt attend any treatment for years and years. They refer to this phase of their lives as the untreated alcoholism part of their sobriety.
I think that it is fantastic that you have done 12 years of sobriety and wish you a long and happy life without alcohol
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