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Can't stop crying...

Old 06-13-2011, 10:18 AM
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Can't stop crying...

For the past few years I knew I had to quit again, I had 5 years sober and then life threw me some curve balls and I thought I could moderate. Well, here I am 5 years later after modding for a year and I am worse than when I quit the first time. I had my last bender a week ago and after that I knew in my heart that was it or else I would die before my time. I drank a bit this past Saturday and sincerely made up my mind Sunday that enough is enough.

Well, since my last hurrah so to say I have been so teary and have crying jags out of the blue. I know I have buried my emotions - I have lost soo many loved ones these past years - and they are finally coming to the surface. I guess it's a good thing and maybe now I can move on to acceptance.

But what I am asking is anyone else extremely teary the first couple of weeks. I don't remember being like this the last times I tried. Maybe that's the difference, this time I know I have to quit or else.

This site will help me tremendously through this journey, thank you.
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Old 06-13-2011, 10:29 AM
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Absolutely!

Hi! I'm super-new here - day 13 for me. YES, I have been super-weepy - a complete wreck, honestly - the past 2 weeks. I think it's partly trying to think about a new/different way of life (and not sure how I will handle that) and also just being out of kilter mentally. I figure I need to build some new brain pathways (have read some interesting stuff about neuroplasticity, and how your brain changes over time). Well, I figure my brain has had YEARS of training in not coping with emotions and it's likely to take it at least a few weeks to start to build some new patterns.

Meanwhile, a virtual hug from me, hang in there.
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Old 06-13-2011, 10:33 AM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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Yes...I too was an emotional mess for a short while....

My AA home group keeps a box of tissues on each table...and we replace them often.
Now I can pass them over without taking some for myself....
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Old 06-13-2011, 10:44 AM
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Hi, yes I'm new to sobriety (9 days) and my emotions have been all over the place including crying for apparently no reason or over-reactive crying etc. I posted that at my second AA meeting when it was my turn to talk I just started bawling. Everyone told me this is normal. We are feeling our emotions for the first time in a long time and it is scary to admit we have this big problem and it feels out of our control. I've also been told it gets better, and it has gotten more stable for me overall so far. Good luck and good for you for making this decision.
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Old 06-13-2011, 10:45 AM
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Of course, yes!

Most of us have buried lots of emotions with our drinking and there's no way around that except to get through it. It helped me to learn that my emotions were just feelings. They didn't control me. So, feel the sadness, recognize it for what it is, and then let it go.
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Old 06-13-2011, 10:49 AM
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I have experienced periods of absolute elation for no apparent reason throughout my 30 days, and the 38 or so before that before I decided to have a few drinks. I have also experienced periods of time in which I am extremely depressed to the point of sobbing my heart out for little to no rational reason. A lot of emotions tend to unearth themselves because they have not been dealt with. You mentioned that you started using again during a time where 'curve balls' were being hurled. You are probably feeling the aftereffects of those curveballs now because you have not allowed yourself to heal properly from them before.
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Old 06-13-2011, 11:44 AM
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I was a mess in early recovery but with time, it settled down and now, after 18 months, I'm on an even keel emotionally. I have bad days and good days but I know that 'this too shall pass' and I just keep on truckin'.
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Old 06-13-2011, 12:15 PM
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Yesterday was my Day 1, I actually felt so bad I called a mental health hot line.
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Old 06-13-2011, 01:57 PM
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very very normal itsmytime

welcome to SR Northrop!

D
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