Hollow Recovery
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Somewhere in my head!
Posts: 41
Hollow Recovery
Hi all,
I was wondering if anyone else felt like their recovery was hollow. I hope that "hollow" expresses what I'm trying to get across. I just don't feel it as an accomplishment on my part although I know that I should. I changed so much when I became an alcoholic and have changed so much more since I've stopped drinking (220 days) but I don't recognize myself anymore and I'm not really sure who I'm supposed to be anymore.
I hope this makes sense. I would appreciate any help or advice anyone could provide.
Thanks,
J
I was wondering if anyone else felt like their recovery was hollow. I hope that "hollow" expresses what I'm trying to get across. I just don't feel it as an accomplishment on my part although I know that I should. I changed so much when I became an alcoholic and have changed so much more since I've stopped drinking (220 days) but I don't recognize myself anymore and I'm not really sure who I'm supposed to be anymore.
I hope this makes sense. I would appreciate any help or advice anyone could provide.
Thanks,
J
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
Maybe it's our expectations of sobriety. I don't get that excited around anniversaries, even though I am appreciative of sobriety day to day, it's not always glowing and an exciting ride, it's always work in progress, I don't feel like I've entirely reached some destination yet, probably never will.
7 months is great, but still in an adjusting phase. I've had two main rounds with recovery in my life. Each time, I began feeling a bit more sure of myself in the second year, prior to that probably felt a bit as if I were floating around in some cloud... it does all take time, but you are well on your way.
7 months is great, but still in an adjusting phase. I've had two main rounds with recovery in my life. Each time, I began feeling a bit more sure of myself in the second year, prior to that probably felt a bit as if I were floating around in some cloud... it does all take time, but you are well on your way.
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
As silly as this sounds when I start feeling that way I make a gratitude list. By doing this I can easily see on the paper/computer screen how much my life has improved in sobriety. This helps me through the hollow or bland times.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
I can say that I feel the same but limited because I'm 30 days. It will be a long journey to find "me.". I'm trusting right now that what long time sober people are telling me. I've never trusted like this before but I have to hold on to what they are telling me. Basically because I don't want to lose everything that's important to me. Let's hang in and trust what the wise sober peeps are telling us! 
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
Hi LifeisCake
I felt like recovery was a little anticlimatic too, for quite a long time - I'm not sure if that's the same thing?.
I think I had the expectation that all I needed to do was stop drinking and my life would improve immediately - but apart from the immediate health and well being benefits, not very much did change for a while.
I finally realised that all the things I started to drink for, way back in the beginning, were still there - the tide of alcohol had gone out...but it revealed a heck of a lot of driftwood left behind.
I needed to sort through all that, make my peace with it...and decide what my new life, and I, should be - and then go for it.
Stopping drinking got me to a better place - but it was picking up all my driftwood and working through that got me really, lastingly, happy again
D
I felt like recovery was a little anticlimatic too, for quite a long time - I'm not sure if that's the same thing?.
I think I had the expectation that all I needed to do was stop drinking and my life would improve immediately - but apart from the immediate health and well being benefits, not very much did change for a while.
I finally realised that all the things I started to drink for, way back in the beginning, were still there - the tide of alcohol had gone out...but it revealed a heck of a lot of driftwood left behind.
I needed to sort through all that, make my peace with it...and decide what my new life, and I, should be - and then go for it.
Stopping drinking got me to a better place - but it was picking up all my driftwood and working through that got me really, lastingly, happy again
D
Practice Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: KC missouri
Posts: 885
I often don't feel like it is something to be celebrated, I was ruining my life and others and I got help. It is something I don't feel like YAY YAY YAY about all the time. I actually have to work on feeling good but writing out what I did and tell myself that I am doing well.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
I filled in my own hollowness. After I quit I had to renovate my life and myself. I filled it in with finding myself and doing the things I want to do.
On a daily basis you aren't recongnized for accomplishments you need to think of what you have what you want and be satisfied with yourself at the end of the day.
On a daily basis you aren't recongnized for accomplishments you need to think of what you have what you want and be satisfied with yourself at the end of the day.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Albany NY
Posts: 1,212
I guess the degree to that feeling of accomplishment comes from where you began.
For instance, I was pretty sick and got to the point where I was unable to walk out the door without feeling shame and embarassment. I did not want to be seen. I had debt that was unbelievable, I had no job and was afraid to even apply for fear of have to explain my four year work gap in a competitive market, etc.
It was in accomplishing these things one day at a time that made me joyful, but I also had at the time an unrealistic expectation that every day would be silver-lined. That comes from inner contentment, and I had to work on that.
Practicing daily gratitude for the things I did have, the gifts all around me that had nothing to do with me, and my hope for the future helped me change that perspective. I dared to dream but didn't let dreams be my master; I worked on these things. I also made getting sober and working on my outlook the "job" I had to do to get out of that hollow period.
For instance, I was pretty sick and got to the point where I was unable to walk out the door without feeling shame and embarassment. I did not want to be seen. I had debt that was unbelievable, I had no job and was afraid to even apply for fear of have to explain my four year work gap in a competitive market, etc.
It was in accomplishing these things one day at a time that made me joyful, but I also had at the time an unrealistic expectation that every day would be silver-lined. That comes from inner contentment, and I had to work on that.
Practicing daily gratitude for the things I did have, the gifts all around me that had nothing to do with me, and my hope for the future helped me change that perspective. I dared to dream but didn't let dreams be my master; I worked on these things. I also made getting sober and working on my outlook the "job" I had to do to get out of that hollow period.
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