allthestops

I too had a rough night last night. My 1son hit a wall. Went out with 2son and his friend. 2son said he didn't "drink that much, at least not as much as he has seen him drink in the past", but our first son was out of control. We received a call from a party in town to come and get him. He didn't want to go with us, but he did. He tried to jump out of the car while it was moving on the way home to go back to the party. He named other places he wanted to go and became abusive verbally to both of his parents. We received phone calls about his accidents and hitting his head. He has a huge goose egg. 2son came home upset because 1son kept drunk dialing him to come and save him from our home. Both sons are of legal age. Both have DUI's on their records. One has life threatening health issues that can be triggered by drinking. I wonder how we have lucked out with these two. All the sports practices, music lessons, PTO events, etc. None of it protected us from having alcoholic sons. I try not to judge or reason with them when they have been drinking. I see the health issues getting worse and worse and I feel powerless in helping them. I just sink in silence and disbelief in what is going on. I pick them up when they need rides, and I am grateful when I hear someone stopped them from driving. I don't want to live like this. I feel trapped and want to run far away, but I live in fear that they will never get better if I don't try and get them some help. Alcoholism runs strong in our family tree and I have warned them about it, but they never had to witness it first hand. I had to bail out members of my family from jail on occassions for DUI and public drunkeness. It always embarrassed me enough to stay clean and enjoy life without getting drunk and incapacitated. I heard the stories about my ancestors getting drunk and getting in trouble or killed and I just shudder to think this disease has touched my children and could continue to plague our family for generations to come. I trust I am where I am supposed to be but I wish I was suppose to be somewhere else.

barb dwyer

Hi Allstops and welcome to SR.

I'm sorry for the reasons, but I am glad you've found this site.

THere are several members here
trying to cope with out of control
children/offspring
(when they're legal age it's a technical reference
rather than a description isn't it?)

with alcohol.


I hope you'll find the support you seek here.
LIke I have.

Please feel free to read the stickies at the top of the forum
and ask questions
make comments
share share share

you're not alone.

I also hope you'll check out Alanon
and what it has to offer
online and in your area.

Welcome to SR.

allthestops

Thanks for the assurance. I hope there is some support out there or on here. I am not getting anything accomplished on my own.

barb dwyer

Thats how it starts becoming better, hon.
When we realize we can't do this alone.

There's such a great power in sharing recovery with others.

Welcome.

CheekyAngel

Hi, your post made me think of me. Me meaning my outrageous behaviour while drinking and the stress i must have put on my parents. I will admit that alot of my behaviours got over-looked due to the family being dysfunctional in the first place. But i never really thought of the hard time i was putting everyone under. Even my lil sister, she got dragged to police stations by my dad and she is 4years younger then me. God, i put people thru hell!!!

Thankfully i havnt had an episode in a while where my parents, well my dad would be dragged into it. Im 21 and realised as soon as i hit 18 i was no longer classed as a child and the trouble i got in with the law would prevent me from reaching my goals with my studies and career.

So i hope for my own sake now i can keep things from getting to far out of control.

I dont really have any advice for you. I hope you find some comfort in this forum as i have. It has thought me many things about myself and about others. I hope you learn too such things.

Thank you & good luck!

Sheneedshelp

I understand exactly how you feel. My daughter drinks, she goes out and makes stupid desicions. She takes pictures and puts them on the internet. I've seen pictures of her half naked with guys. I've seen pictures of her publically exposing herself. She's been arrested for underage drinking and public intox. I know what it's like. I hate it, it makes me wanna cry when I think about it. I know it's hard, I'll keep you in my prayers

m1k3

Allthestops, the 3 c's are very big around here and for a good reason.

You didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it. They will get better when they are ready to get better. What you can do is begin to take care of yourself. Go to some Al-Anon meeting and continue to visit here. You will meet many people who are going through the same types of things that you are.

You will find plenty of wisdom and strength here and at Al-Anon.

Your friend,

allthestops

It's been 24 hours since my son's binge and I am praying for both of my boys. Prayer helps, but I can't ignore what happened again. I am still paying for the previous year's mistakes they both made. I am trying to forgive and move on, but I just feel burned, manipulated, and used for the love I feel for them. I want to give them the best I can, but I'm in this pit they've dug and I can't seem to get them to stop digging. They both surround themselves with people that expect and accept binge drinking. I know it's not going to change until they want to make a change. They don't want to make a change. They are both very clear on that.

m1k3

The only thing you can do then is start healing yourself. I am going through the same type of thing with my alcoholic wife.

What you can do is get control of your own life. Go to al-anon and visit here often. There are many of us who understand what you are going through because we are on the same journey.

There is little that I ca ndo to ease your pain other than offer my support and prayers and the promise that you are not alone and you can get better.



Your friend,

LaPinturaBella

Unfortuntely, as much as you want to help them, to heal them, the simple, unvarnished truth is you can't. you don't have the power. Also, they are no longer children, they are adult men who have every right to do what they want with their lives...even destroy them. The best thing for YOU, is to heal yourself. Keep coming here, read everything you can about alcoholism, and please go to Al-Anon. It WILL save your life it you give it a chance.

I'm sorry you are in such pain. It's a horrible thing to have to deal with.