My Disclaimer
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: carolina girl
Posts: 578
My Disclaimer
Always available to view on my profile page.
*This post was not intended to judge, debase, criticize, disparage, demean, humiliate, or belittle in any way. Poster is offering Experience, Strength, and Hope to shed possible new light on a difficult situation, more often than not a situation the Poster has formerly been in. Poster's qualifications include but are not limited to: co-dependancy, 35 yrs; ACOA, 35 yrs; Girlfriend of alcoholics/addicts, 17 yrs. Poster is very serious about her recovery, due to the rapid improvement of her life since inception of said recovery. Poster wishes nothing but the best for fellow readers, posters, those in active recovery and those still suffering from said 'ailments' listed heretofore. Post may contain tough love, naked truths, blunt phrases, or in general things the reader may not want to hear, primarily because this is what has worked/assisted/guided/counseled/influenced/woken up poster during her individual recovery in the past. Your recovery and experience may vary. Reader has first rights of refusal on any experience, strength, and hope offered here, and assumes full competency to place Poster on reader's 'Ignore List' at any time. Poster assumes full liability for her feelings, thoughts, actions and reactions, and expects others, as adults, to assume likewise for their own. All readers are encouraged to Take What They Like And Leave The Rest.
Thank you for reading. Have a great day!
*This post was not intended to judge, debase, criticize, disparage, demean, humiliate, or belittle in any way. Poster is offering Experience, Strength, and Hope to shed possible new light on a difficult situation, more often than not a situation the Poster has formerly been in. Poster's qualifications include but are not limited to: co-dependancy, 35 yrs; ACOA, 35 yrs; Girlfriend of alcoholics/addicts, 17 yrs. Poster is very serious about her recovery, due to the rapid improvement of her life since inception of said recovery. Poster wishes nothing but the best for fellow readers, posters, those in active recovery and those still suffering from said 'ailments' listed heretofore. Post may contain tough love, naked truths, blunt phrases, or in general things the reader may not want to hear, primarily because this is what has worked/assisted/guided/counseled/influenced/woken up poster during her individual recovery in the past. Your recovery and experience may vary. Reader has first rights of refusal on any experience, strength, and hope offered here, and assumes full competency to place Poster on reader's 'Ignore List' at any time. Poster assumes full liability for her feelings, thoughts, actions and reactions, and expects others, as adults, to assume likewise for their own. All readers are encouraged to Take What They Like And Leave The Rest.
Thank you for reading. Have a great day!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Ok, I read a few upset posts last night - seems either I have fully embraced "take what works and leave the rest" or I am rather daft at what triggers people to feel judged. I have never felt that way here, but I have read some posts were people react to each other.
This is the internet. It is difficult to pick up on body language and other non-verbal cues.
If I feel triggered my something, I simply close my browser and walk away...go do something else.
If I don't like what someone posted on my thread, I ignore it. If I repeatedly don't like what someone posts, I ignore them with the "ignore feature". I've never done that, btw. I really appreciate everyone's input, even if the delivery sucked.
I understand we are all hurt and burned crispy by our similar situations of dealing with the addicts in our lives. Keeping this forefront allows me to have compassion for others instead of immediately jumping to the conclusion someone is out to get me.
A few times, I have PM'd someone outside of a thread to either apologize for sounding harsh or to ask if they meant to sound harsh themselves. Only once have I openly called someone on their tone, and I got a PM apology a few days later.
Every single one of us has something to offer the other in our own way. Like the individuals we are, we have our own styles of delivery.
So maybe this is my disclaimer of sorts. I do want to thank all of you fine people here...newcomers and old-timers alike, for just being here. Because I can't go to Al-Anon meetings twice or three times a day...coming here helps me put things into perspective. I have found so much wisdom and hope here and I am eternally grateful, even to those who pissed me off at some point.
I joined here right after New Year's of 2011. Today I am a different person than I was then. And SR played a huge part in that. Thank you.
This is the internet. It is difficult to pick up on body language and other non-verbal cues.
If I feel triggered my something, I simply close my browser and walk away...go do something else.
If I don't like what someone posted on my thread, I ignore it. If I repeatedly don't like what someone posts, I ignore them with the "ignore feature". I've never done that, btw. I really appreciate everyone's input, even if the delivery sucked.
I understand we are all hurt and burned crispy by our similar situations of dealing with the addicts in our lives. Keeping this forefront allows me to have compassion for others instead of immediately jumping to the conclusion someone is out to get me.
A few times, I have PM'd someone outside of a thread to either apologize for sounding harsh or to ask if they meant to sound harsh themselves. Only once have I openly called someone on their tone, and I got a PM apology a few days later.
Every single one of us has something to offer the other in our own way. Like the individuals we are, we have our own styles of delivery.
So maybe this is my disclaimer of sorts. I do want to thank all of you fine people here...newcomers and old-timers alike, for just being here. Because I can't go to Al-Anon meetings twice or three times a day...coming here helps me put things into perspective. I have found so much wisdom and hope here and I am eternally grateful, even to those who pissed me off at some point.
I joined here right after New Year's of 2011. Today I am a different person than I was then. And SR played a huge part in that. Thank you.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Great disclaimer, lol. You sure you aren't a lawyer? 
Alcoholism, and the results of living with it, is a messy business. If someone's post rubs me the wrong way, I always start with the presumption that no harm was intended. Sometimes it's me being hypersensitive (we all have days like that) or sometimes the post was inartfully worded because the post-er was in a hurry, responding off the top of his/her head, or was simply having a bad day (we all have days like that, too).
I find that operating from that presumption (support intended until/unless proven to be intentionally malicious) keeps me from taking things too personally. I've seen maybe a couple of posts in all the time I've been here that were gratuituously insulting and intentionally nasty. The others that bothered me were, I believe, coming from a place intending to offer support.
"Take what you like and leave the rest" is a great motto for this or any other forum.
Alcoholism, and the results of living with it, is a messy business. If someone's post rubs me the wrong way, I always start with the presumption that no harm was intended. Sometimes it's me being hypersensitive (we all have days like that) or sometimes the post was inartfully worded because the post-er was in a hurry, responding off the top of his/her head, or was simply having a bad day (we all have days like that, too).
I find that operating from that presumption (support intended until/unless proven to be intentionally malicious) keeps me from taking things too personally. I've seen maybe a couple of posts in all the time I've been here that were gratuituously insulting and intentionally nasty. The others that bothered me were, I believe, coming from a place intending to offer support.
"Take what you like and leave the rest" is a great motto for this or any other forum.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: carolina girl
Posts: 578
Originally Posted by LexieCat 
"Take what you like and leave the rest" is a great motto for this or any other forum.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: carolina girl
Posts: 578
Yeah, i need to detach from the soft serve ice cream machine at the end there with the bowls of sprinkles, sugar cones, peanuts, chocolate chips and cherries. Now that's what I call a toxic relationship.
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