On a plane...shame
Servant of God
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Parts Unknown
Posts: 214
On a plane...shame
On an airplane right now. I find myself hiding my phone screen from the people around me because I don't want them to see the SR banner and judge me. These people are complete strangers yet I clearly have a pride/image thing that I need help with.
I feel like I have to tell the people next to me that "I'm an addict" in order to feel better but then I remember that they aren't even paying any attention to me...lol
Really need to remember that it's not "all about me" for anyone but me. I heard someone say once: "you wouldn't really care that much about what others thought of you if you actuall realized how little time they spent thinking of you in the first place"...wise words.
I feel like I have to tell the people next to me that "I'm an addict" in order to feel better but then I remember that they aren't even paying any attention to me...lol
Really need to remember that it's not "all about me" for anyone but me. I heard someone say once: "you wouldn't really care that much about what others thought of you if you actuall realized how little time they spent thinking of you in the first place"...wise words.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
I was out last night with a friend...we met some nice men (gay) and one offered to buy us champagne cocktails ...I said no thanks I don't drink...he immediately asked if I was an alcoholic...I replied no and changed the subject.
The thing is...I didn't know him and its none of his business....you don't need to explain yourself to strangers unless You feel compelled to
Just my opinion.
The thing is...I didn't know him and its none of his business....you don't need to explain yourself to strangers unless You feel compelled to
Just my opinion.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
I used to close the screen when acquittances would enter the room but I don't even bother with that now.
I doubt it even registers to people what SR is 95% of the time
have a good flight FNB3
D
I doubt it even registers to people what SR is 95% of the time
have a good flight FNB3
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
I don't think I'd worry all that much about the people around you. I doubt for one minute they are all that worried about you. If you were stumbling down the isle singing '100 bottles of beer on the wall' that might get their attention. You don't need to feel oblidged to offer any type of explanation to anyone.
The other day, I sold a case a beer to a guy at the store I work at...we did some small talking and I said I don't drink. He stopped....looked at me and asked "what's wrong with you?" I was a little taken back that he was so 'offended' by my statement. Or at least that's how it seemed. Like, how dare I not drink!
I think if you 'offer' information it gives them something to feed off of. I tell everyone I don't drink...they all think I'm crazy but that's nothing new.
Have fun on your trip.
The other day, I sold a case a beer to a guy at the store I work at...we did some small talking and I said I don't drink. He stopped....looked at me and asked "what's wrong with you?" I was a little taken back that he was so 'offended' by my statement. Or at least that's how it seemed. Like, how dare I not drink!
I think if you 'offer' information it gives them something to feed off of. I tell everyone I don't drink...they all think I'm crazy but that's nothing new.
Have fun on your trip.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
Have a great flight!
If asked I just say that I'm allergic. I don't feel I have to discuss my isms with anyone but my doctor (s). I don't think one single person has ever asked me about SR anywhere. We have a Christian book store downtown that has some amazing coffee. I go in there with my computer and surf and drink coffee. People have looked at my screen repeatedly and I've never heard a word from anyone.
If asked I just say that I'm allergic. I don't feel I have to discuss my isms with anyone but my doctor (s). I don't think one single person has ever asked me about SR anywhere. We have a Christian book store downtown that has some amazing coffee. I go in there with my computer and surf and drink coffee. People have looked at my screen repeatedly and I've never heard a word from anyone.
Servant of God
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Parts Unknown
Posts: 214
Back from trip and it really threw me and I wasn't prepared for this.
This trip was with some extended family and being around them was really difficult for me. I ended up having a couple drinks with them every night that I was there. Couple as in two. I didn't feel like this was a problem because alcohol is not my DOC but it didn't help. I was SO nervous and SO emotionally unstable the whole time there and I wasn't prepared at the possibility of feeling that way.
The couple drinks really helped break the tension but my emotions just kinda spiraled after the first one on the first night. I wasn't strong enough to refuse when the peer pressure kicked in at dinners and stuff and I didn't want to have to answer why to anyone. I wasn't mentally prepared for how being around family would make me feel and I didn't bring the best tools to deal.
It was a good learning experience but I wish I didn't have to go through it. Just a couple drinks really altered my thinking and got rid of my positive thinking. There weren't any really bad consequence but I could see that any chemicals added could make a significant negative impact on an apparently fragile emotional state.
Every time I start to think that I'm "ok" I am quickly shown something different. The notion that I can work on sobriety "part-time" and then coast has been fully debunked. Several things all came to a head to make my situation overwhelming and I didn't handle it well. I came away from this trip humbled, humiliated, baffled, surprised and more but I'm ready to get back on it and picked up some insight.
Wow, was there a big difference between the way I felt around recovery and recovery people and the way I felt around family and friends. I need to learn something from this and figure out exactly why and what to work on.
I just wanted to express this stuff so I can feel better.
This trip was with some extended family and being around them was really difficult for me. I ended up having a couple drinks with them every night that I was there. Couple as in two. I didn't feel like this was a problem because alcohol is not my DOC but it didn't help. I was SO nervous and SO emotionally unstable the whole time there and I wasn't prepared at the possibility of feeling that way.
The couple drinks really helped break the tension but my emotions just kinda spiraled after the first one on the first night. I wasn't strong enough to refuse when the peer pressure kicked in at dinners and stuff and I didn't want to have to answer why to anyone. I wasn't mentally prepared for how being around family would make me feel and I didn't bring the best tools to deal.
It was a good learning experience but I wish I didn't have to go through it. Just a couple drinks really altered my thinking and got rid of my positive thinking. There weren't any really bad consequence but I could see that any chemicals added could make a significant negative impact on an apparently fragile emotional state.
Every time I start to think that I'm "ok" I am quickly shown something different. The notion that I can work on sobriety "part-time" and then coast has been fully debunked. Several things all came to a head to make my situation overwhelming and I didn't handle it well. I came away from this trip humbled, humiliated, baffled, surprised and more but I'm ready to get back on it and picked up some insight.
Wow, was there a big difference between the way I felt around recovery and recovery people and the way I felt around family and friends. I need to learn something from this and figure out exactly why and what to work on.
I just wanted to express this stuff so I can feel better.
Programmaddict
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: God's Hands
Posts: 217
What other people think of me is none of my business.
At least I try to think of it that way. All I know is that my well being and sobriety is the most important thing to me. I can't expect it to be important to anyone else. I'd rather other people be uncomfortable with my sobriety than for me to be uncomfortable with myself for not remaining sober.
At least I try to think of it that way. All I know is that my well being and sobriety is the most important thing to me. I can't expect it to be important to anyone else. I'd rather other people be uncomfortable with my sobriety than for me to be uncomfortable with myself for not remaining sober.
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