$1025 !!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 347
$1025 !!!!
More than my house payment.
More than groceries for 6 kids and myself.
More than my car/insurance payment.
More than my gas for my car - and I have a LONG commute...
So...more that ANYTHING I spend my money on. He spent $1025 in 30 days in BARS!!!! I never added it up before. I needed this perspective, as he was working on convince me he had quit drinking...LOL...this was a good reality check confirming what I already know is true. Don't know why I keep putting off the inevitable...gonna file those papers!!
More than groceries for 6 kids and myself.
More than my car/insurance payment.
More than my gas for my car - and I have a LONG commute...
So...more that ANYTHING I spend my money on. He spent $1025 in 30 days in BARS!!!! I never added it up before. I needed this perspective, as he was working on convince me he had quit drinking...LOL...this was a good reality check confirming what I already know is true. Don't know why I keep putting off the inevitable...gonna file those papers!!
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
In the month just prior to Mr. HG cutting off "Jr's" credit card, Jr. managed to rack up about $3000 in charges to bars, gas stations and convenience stores for liquor. Mr. HG's comment was "Heck, he could of at least taken a nice trip to Paris for that amount of money! Instead he spent it on booze and ice cream sandwiches!!" 
Indeed, it was a reality check......
Indeed, it was a reality check......
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CA
Posts: 428
I had my own reality check about a month ago when I finally looked at our finances an how much money we were spending each month. My RAH (R being used cautiously) is sneaky, does not go to bars (well at least not what I could see) but what I could see was lots of ATM withdrawals, a high gas bill (got to love the ability to pick stuff up while filling the tank), extra money being spent at the store while picking up food etc. It was easy $500+ a month.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 148
I'm sure I've wasted thousands of dollars in the last 6 or 7 years on alcohol.
Not only that but dumb stuff I spent my money on that I would not have spent sober. (Junk food, strip clubs, drugs, etc...)
That's a huge motivator for me imo. Stacking chips FTW
Not only that but dumb stuff I spent my money on that I would not have spent sober. (Junk food, strip clubs, drugs, etc...)
That's a huge motivator for me imo. Stacking chips FTW
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Save those receipts/records!
I showed receipts/credit statements to my attorney.
I was able to prove his responsibility for the debt in my name, and
I was able to prove his addiction, and
I was able to prove his disposable income was higher than he was admitting.
When I saw the $$$
I got mad!
The anger propelled me forward in doing what I needed to do to protect myself and children from the financial and legal fallout of his active addiction.
I showed receipts/credit statements to my attorney.
I was able to prove his responsibility for the debt in my name, and
I was able to prove his addiction, and
I was able to prove his disposable income was higher than he was admitting.
When I saw the $$$
I got mad!
The anger propelled me forward in doing what I needed to do to protect myself and children from the financial and legal fallout of his active addiction.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Doing this very exercise was one of the defining moments for my RAH - when he added up what he spent and I included what I spent on our "sins" - it was also over $500 a month, and that was only what he admitted to. He also didn't factor the excess money spent on stupid things - for him it was random items not needed but easy to account for instead of the liquor he really went to the store to purchase.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 347
I bought a dress today to where to a wedding next Saturday - price $80, on sale for 40% off, plus a ten dollar coupon off so it was something like $37....and guess what I had to CONVINCE myself it was ok to buy it!!! That's my big splurge!!! So he came by the house and I was quiet and he asked me what was wrong and I told him, he stormed off calling me names, then called several times, threaten to kill himself, then he accidently called me after sending me a text message and guess what - you'll never believe where he was calling me from - You guessed it...the bar!!! Addiction owns him, he doesn't want to get better and I'm not waiting to see if he ever does.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Yeah, that would be unfair to you. I only know one alcoholic in real life and no, 2 years later of no contact and the guy is THE SAME. I would have lost 2 years for nothing.. bahhh... as if there weren't wonderful men out there, not to mention a great life to be lived: books, nature, concerts, good people, pets, TV series, workshops, sports, museums, good food, trips... wow, even SILENCE seems like a great thing now that I don't have anyone slurring their words, yelling, laughing at stupid jokes, describing how good another woman looked... how could I live with someone like that? sheesh.
Recently I was feeling down and passed a shop... I bought a zebra-themed palazzo! I said out loud "I will cover some of my sadness with this piece of clothing" and the shop owner laughed out loud.. coincidentally my gym instructor was walking by...the 3 of us ended up laughing... ah, retail therapy...
Now I need a belt to go with it
Recently I was feeling down and passed a shop... I bought a zebra-themed palazzo! I said out loud "I will cover some of my sadness with this piece of clothing" and the shop owner laughed out loud.. coincidentally my gym instructor was walking by...the 3 of us ended up laughing... ah, retail therapy...
Now I need a belt to go with it
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
Eagles have to be pushed out of the nest
in order to learn to fly.
Otters have to be tricked
by their parents
in order to learn to swim.
I think this sounds like
the nudge you've been waiting for
from the Infinite.
Sounds like it in the tone of the posts, anyway.
in order to learn to fly.
Otters have to be tricked
by their parents
in order to learn to swim.
I think this sounds like
the nudge you've been waiting for
from the Infinite.
Sounds like it in the tone of the posts, anyway.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
I used to spend about $250.-$300. a month on wine....when i stopped, i discovered I was wasting $$$ that easily covered my cable/internet/land line service and the monthly utility bill.
i now make double principal payments on my mortgage every month..(rec'd a big pat on the back from my accountant)...i take lunch & coffee from home for the past year and was able to afford a complete bathroom remodel...i had the extra cash to buy a lot of fixtures and toilet when i saw them on sale and save even MORE $$.
my sobriety snowballed into much better $$$ management.
there is a lot you can do with an extra $12,000+ per year. save the bills and keep documenting his expendatures....he'll never understand the logistics until he is ready to quit.
i now make double principal payments on my mortgage every month..(rec'd a big pat on the back from my accountant)...i take lunch & coffee from home for the past year and was able to afford a complete bathroom remodel...i had the extra cash to buy a lot of fixtures and toilet when i saw them on sale and save even MORE $$.
my sobriety snowballed into much better $$$ management.
there is a lot you can do with an extra $12,000+ per year. save the bills and keep documenting his expendatures....he'll never understand the logistics until he is ready to quit.
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