Looking For Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: TX
Posts: 8
Looking For Hope
Hi everyone! First time here and first time posting on a forum, so please excuse noob mistakes on my part. Today I hope and pray can be day 1 sober. I am 48 and have been drinking for 25 years. I consume a gallon of Bacardi a week!! I want more than anything to stop! It has caught up to me now, for I am experiencing pain in the liver area. Hand tremors, failing eyesight, inability to focus and concentrate. I feel so bad I can’t hold a normal conversation with anyone and am always depressed and feel like I am slowly dying. This has been getting worse for the last six months. A year ago it would happen for a day or so, but now it is constant.
I am so scared that I will lose my job, my wife, house etc….my wife is supportive, but I think if I lose my job and don’t stop drinking she will be out of here. Today’s my son’s 12th birthday and I called him for the first time in a year. If it were not for a calendar reminder I would have forgotten. SO SO SAD….
I am so scared that I will lose my job, my wife, house etc….my wife is supportive, but I think if I lose my job and don’t stop drinking she will be out of here. Today’s my son’s 12th birthday and I called him for the first time in a year. If it were not for a calendar reminder I would have forgotten. SO SO SAD….
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Welcome. When I was worried about the effects that drinking was having in my life, I found this site and it has helped me so much. I know it will help you too. I admire you for wanting to get sober before it's too late. I know you can do it. Today is my Day 6 without drinking. Good luck and welcome.
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,828
Welcome to SR! I was right where you are now. That was nearly two years ago. I was drinking 12-18 beers a day, EVERY day for 10 straight years and I was a huge weekly binge drinker for the 20 years prior. I had the shaky hands, crippling anxiety, thoughts of death, etc. I finally ended up in the emergency room, questioning my own sanity. That was the day when I decided that I didn't want to live like that anymore. That was on June 22, 2009, and I haven't touched a drop since that fateful day. Sobriety is better than I ever could've imagined. Lots of us here are happily sober and you can do it, too! Believe me, I never thought I could go 2 days, let alone 2 years, without a drink. Now, I can't imagine ever going back to that "life" again.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Whistler, British Columbia
Posts: 222
Welcome Fisrtcav!
Here you will find people with much love and support in your decision to take your life back.
From what you have posted above it sounds like you are ready for a change. But please for your own health go see your doctor and be open and honest about your situation and desire to quit drinking.
This site has value beyond words. Lots of reading here will help you
Here you will find people with much love and support in your decision to take your life back.
From what you have posted above it sounds like you are ready for a change. But please for your own health go see your doctor and be open and honest about your situation and desire to quit drinking.
This site has value beyond words. Lots of reading here will help you
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: TX
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by 1undone 
Welcome, is your withdrawl being supervised? That's a lot of alcohol you were drinking. How you are being safe. 
Hope you find what you need here, it's a great place.
Hope you find what you need here, it's a great place.Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
Welcome to SR
Detox is no picnic firstcav - it's always best to get medical advice.
I detoxed on my own - I'm lucky to still be here.
It's up to you to follow any medical recommendations your Dr may give or not so I wouldn't worry about being forced to do anything.
Your life is more important than any other considerations tho - please get checked out and be safe.
D
Detox is no picnic firstcav - it's always best to get medical advice.
I detoxed on my own - I'm lucky to still be here.
It's up to you to follow any medical recommendations your Dr may give or not so I wouldn't worry about being forced to do anything.
Your life is more important than any other considerations tho - please get checked out and be safe.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: TX
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by ulverston
hospital is better than the morgue.
please dont try detoxing on your own.
it can be fatal.
go to the hospital..they will help you..
what good to your family and employer are you if you die?
please dont try detoxing on your own.
it can be fatal.
go to the hospital..they will help you..
what good to your family and employer are you if you die?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: TX
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by Dee74
Welcome to SR
Detox is no picnic firstcav - it's always best to get medical advice.
I detoxed on my own - I'm lucky to still be here.
It's up to you to follow any medical recommendations your Dr may give or not so I wouldn't worry about being forced to do anything.
Your life is more important than any other considerations tho - please get checked out and be safe.
D
Detox is no picnic firstcav - it's always best to get medical advice.
I detoxed on my own - I'm lucky to still be here.
It's up to you to follow any medical recommendations your Dr may give or not so I wouldn't worry about being forced to do anything.
Your life is more important than any other considerations tho - please get checked out and be safe.
D
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 590
firstcav,
Congratulations on your decision. It looks like you are continuing to make good ones. I totally agree with all the great advice and insight people have provided so I won't try to add anymore. Just know that we are thinking of you. I am so happy that you are receiving support from your family. I think you'll find that most people, hopefully even your employer if it comes to that, are supportive of those making a good life decsion such as yours. Wishing you all the best.
Congratulations on your decision. It looks like you are continuing to make good ones. I totally agree with all the great advice and insight people have provided so I won't try to add anymore. Just know that we are thinking of you. I am so happy that you are receiving support from your family. I think you'll find that most people, hopefully even your employer if it comes to that, are supportive of those making a good life decsion such as yours. Wishing you all the best.
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
I was drinking two 30-packs of beer and a pint of 100 proof "Hot Damn" every evening. If I can get sober I firmly believe anyone can.
One thing I could not do is find sobriety without a program of recovery. I encourage anyone wanting to get sober to please look into a program it does not really matter which one but the support one can find in them is priceless. AA happens to be the program that has worked for me.
As far as detox goes, I had no clue about it so did it on my own. I would not encourage anyone to do it that way. By the time I realized what it was it was the worst was over. I think that listening to what others here have said about talking to your doctor and considering some outpatient or inpatient programs as they can be very beneficial would be a good idea.
The only thing that kept me coming back to AA and keeping trying was the hope that I felt when I went to my first meeting. I don't have a clue what was said but I felt that I finally had found a way to live and be happy without drinking. I had gotten to the point where I could no longer live drinking and did not have a clue how to live life without it. I had given up all hope until I went to that meeting. I have been sober since. That was 3-13-01. If I can do it anyone can. Take care.
One thing I could not do is find sobriety without a program of recovery. I encourage anyone wanting to get sober to please look into a program it does not really matter which one but the support one can find in them is priceless. AA happens to be the program that has worked for me.
As far as detox goes, I had no clue about it so did it on my own. I would not encourage anyone to do it that way. By the time I realized what it was it was the worst was over. I think that listening to what others here have said about talking to your doctor and considering some outpatient or inpatient programs as they can be very beneficial would be a good idea.
The only thing that kept me coming back to AA and keeping trying was the hope that I felt when I went to my first meeting. I don't have a clue what was said but I felt that I finally had found a way to live and be happy without drinking. I had gotten to the point where I could no longer live drinking and did not have a clue how to live life without it. I had given up all hope until I went to that meeting. I have been sober since. That was 3-13-01. If I can do it anyone can. Take care.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,911
Welcome, good advice so far. My advice is get medical help with the detox and a program for recovery (I happen to use AA). Then take it one day at a time. It's going to take patience to recover. It took you years to get where you are, it's going to take some time to unravel the mess. But the good news is that you don't heve to feel this way ever again, you can recover.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Welcome firstcav. I'll be 48 this year and quit a 30 year habit in January. Guess what? There is hope...it CAN be done and I have faith in you that you will succeed.
Glad to hear you'll be getting help. There's alot I have regretted in the past 30 years but reaching out for help was never one of them.
Wishing you peace and strength.
Glad to hear you'll be getting help. There's alot I have regretted in the past 30 years but reaching out for help was never one of them.
Wishing you peace and strength.
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