ConcernedM

Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to know how every one else feels about drinking alcohol after living with or being in a serious intimate relationship with an alcoholic. I have attended Al-Anon meetings, have done my research on alcoholism, and have seen the negative effects of alcohol on the user.

Now, whenever I go out with friends to a bar or to have a glass of wine, I get pretty anxious. I have this irrational fear that I am going to become an alcoholic even though it takes years to become one. I don't have an addictive personality, but I'm afraid that I'm going to like drinking, and end up like my ex-spouse.

I have never in all of my life been ANXIOUS around alcohol, but after my experience of being around an alchoholic and seeing the drastically tragic impact it has on abusers, I have become kinda aversed to it. It's so ******* hard to have fun now. It's almost as if I'm afraid of having fun! How ridiculous is that?!?!

Anyways, any feedback would be GREATLY appreciated.

Ponder

I don't particularly worry about myself becoming an alcoholic, but what I do get anxious about is seeing it EVERYWHERE! I feel like that kid in that movie Sixth Sense.. instead of dead people.. "I see ALCOHOL(ics)!!"

I was browsing one of those novelty catalogs just the other day and what do I see? A tool belt like contraption that held not tools.. no.. but BEER CANS!

marie1960

Feeling the same way. Declined an invite tonite with friends going to the wine bar. Can't quite put my finger on what the problem is.

skippernlilg

Those kinds of plans just do not appeal to me at all anymore. I think for my recovery, I have to be away from those people that I think may need my 'help'.

I think I told SR the story of my neighbors a few months ago and what happened when I tried to 'help'.

For my recovery, I just don't want to be around people who put themselves in inebriated situations that I feel they are risking good judgment. I have the tendency to want to help them, so it's better that I am not in a position of trying to help anyone but myself and my minor child right now.

Eventually, I believe I will be so much better, I will not be affected by the power of alcohol.

LexieCat

There are worse things in life than not enjoying drinking anymore. It really isn't good for anybody. Look at it as expensive aversion therapy.

LaPinturaBella

Your anxiety is understandable. The chaos, destruction, etc. is traumatic! However, I think it will abate with time, especially as you continue your healing and recovery. It's kinda like we notice what is most on our minds. A woman gets pregnant and all of a sudden she's seeing pregnant women everywhere. If it makes you uncomfortable, you are well within your rights to stay away from situations and people who drink. I don't think you'll become an alcoholic though. So I wouldn't worry about that.

Cyranoak

With all due respect, this is not exactly accurate: Some people become alcoholics the moment they take their first drink. It can be, literally, instantaneous. For others it is, in fact, something that gets worse over time. It's not the same for everybody.

I'd ask you this: have you ever had trouble knowing when to say when? If not, then don't worry about it. If so, perhaps you have an issue.

Remember, the vast majority of our population can have two or three drinks and then stop. I do it all the time.

One of the things that's different about alcoholics is that they can't do that, they change completely after the first drink, or both.

Take care,

Cyranoak

marie1960

Been thinking about this more. It's as if the alcohol is "the other woman", Can't help but to be angry and upset, it's as if the alcohol has taken something away that i truly loved and cherished. So at this moment in life, I truly do not want to surround myself with more of the same. Just trying to get both feet on the ground. refusing to be two faced to myself. ConcernedM I understand what you are saying and feeling, at least we get to move on with our lives, we have a clear focus of what we do not want to be. I am only going to surround myself with positive people, people who want to learn and grow, develop new interests, get involved in my community, cannot dwell on someone else's choices. And i think i am going to eat more ice cream......... Take care of you, best wishes

jayscott

This thread reminded me of an interaction with an ex-GF many years ago, long before I met my AW. We would drink socially, but I'm a pretty big guy (6'2", 200lb) and could drink more than her. At one point she accused me of being an alcoholic. I've never had any addiction issues, and we just stopped drinking at that point.

But I can remember the look of fear on her face. It reminds me of how I feel about alcohol right now. It wouldn't surprise me at all if she had an earlier relationship with an alcoholic, because she had other PTSD-style issues that she struggled with.

My decision today about whether or not to drink is made much easier by the fact that I can now get a hangover from one glass of wine. Takes most of the 'fun' out of the experience.

MissChievous

I hear ya, Concerned.

I don't get anxious when I'm around it, but I have a strong aversion to having it enter my mouth and swallowing it! I know it's purely psychological - it has only come about since alcohol became a problem with my AH.

We used to (in the old days) drink socially...most of our friends drink in social situations. And I enjoyed it...and enjoyed getting a little buzz from it. Sometimes after a stressful day, I would come home and have a drink...it would calm me down and mellow me out.

Until.

It's really done a number on my head now. I can't stand to drink it (if I have a sip, it almost gags me). I can't stand to be around it; can't stand to see anyone enebriated.

I guess I just associate it with pain and heartbreak...and I have just come to HATE IT.

LS2

I feel the same, the anxiety. I haven't drank in over a year and last weekend I had maybe 4 drinks and it was tooo many. Ish. I know after feeling stresssed I crave a drink, but I'd rather deal with the emotion than the hangover. and all the other crap that goes along with it. I def. have an addictive personality.

TakingCharge999

Oh I hated alcohol and alcoholics and drunks and loud drunks and weekends and parties and pictures of people drinking made me angry.. sometimes they still do...

With time I am no longer triggered.. well, not THAT much..



Back off from it for a while, seek other activities.. other kinds of people...



I love yoga, have a better relationship with myself and my body, why would I want to avoid life and put a mask of happiness and feel like #%@%?? (and get fat with beer??!). Also I noticed drinkers seem older than they are, have bad skin, etc etc... and I am getting some vanity now..

I have lost too much of my life with jerks and alcoholic jerks, now its the time to do things for me and the only alcohol in my life is the red wine I add to the pasta sauce.

I wish you could taste it. You would feel better about red wine.


Then of course I get sleepy and call it a day.

steve11694

Sometimes a social drinker if I go to a night club I can very well recognize alcoholics now that I have been to hell and back with AW.

bookwyrm

I haven't had a drink in years. I stopped while still married - trying to lead XAH by example. Now I just don't want it. I get really anxious in bars so I don't go. I can't stand being around people drinking - I freeze up when I think they're drunk and want to get away before something happens. So I don't go to nights out or I leave after an hour.