Ready vs Want/Need
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
Ready vs Want/Need
I wanted to start start a thread about ready to change vs want or need to change when it comes to start with day 1 and staying sober. I'm between 2 to 3 months without getting drunk on alcohol. This is the longest time in about 3 years that I start sober. When I would go through the binge drinking period and start I would stay that I need to change or this time would be different. I thought I change but I would slip and get drunk for a few days straights. One of the reason why I sober now and will be sober for a long time is because I was ready to change how I deal without and not using alcohol to avoid it. I just could not go through life with drinking my problems away. Which is why I was ready to change versus I need or want to change. Cravings are gone and the want to drink alcohol is just not there like it was before.
I know I have not been sober long enough to give a real personal experiment on the subject about this but do you agree with READY vs WANT/NEED?
General talking to the people who had stay sober for a long time.
I know I have not been sober long enough to give a real personal experiment on the subject about this but do you agree with READY vs WANT/NEED?
General talking to the people who had stay sober for a long time.
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Good question....ready vs want/need to change.
I guess one could say I was ready to change as it became a matter of life and death for me. I could no longer bear to live drinking but had no idea how to not drink and live. I am thankful that I was presented with a solution, which was and is AA, before I killed myself which was a very real option for me at that time.
I have many times needed to change or wanted to change because I would run into trouble with my drinking. I would want/need to change but it did not last as I was not ready to change.
I hope that somewhat provides my answer to your question. You also said something about time in recovery, I celebrated 10 years a couple months ago.
I guess one could say I was ready to change as it became a matter of life and death for me. I could no longer bear to live drinking but had no idea how to not drink and live. I am thankful that I was presented with a solution, which was and is AA, before I killed myself which was a very real option for me at that time.
I have many times needed to change or wanted to change because I would run into trouble with my drinking. I would want/need to change but it did not last as I was not ready to change.
I hope that somewhat provides my answer to your question. You also said something about time in recovery, I celebrated 10 years a couple months ago.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I think that point of deciding 'I can't live like this another second' is slightly different for everyone.
I said 'no more' many times but I drank again.
Perhaps I was not ready to do the work I knew I'd have to do, perhaps I was too proud to admit 'defeat', or perhaps I was just terrified of letting go of what I knew?
maybe all little of all 3?
D
I said 'no more' many times but I drank again.
Perhaps I was not ready to do the work I knew I'd have to do, perhaps I was too proud to admit 'defeat', or perhaps I was just terrified of letting go of what I knew?
maybe all little of all 3?
D
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
For me, I wasn't ready to change until I realized I needed to change. Why change when I felt things were humming a long nicely? Why change my behavior when I believed I was in control?
When things ceased to hum along, when I realized that if I didn't change, things were going to continue going down the pooper, I got ready.
I was not smart enough, benevolent enough or motivated enough to change until it was a case of change or die.
At the time I got sober, I was practicing my addiction through risky sexual relationships, anorexia, drinking and drug abuse and cutting. I was on the fast track towards death. But it took a long period of such obviously disordered behavior before I admitted I was out of control and needed to change. Denial much?
When I first got sober, I was neither willing nor "ready" but I sure needed it.
When things ceased to hum along, when I realized that if I didn't change, things were going to continue going down the pooper, I got ready.
I was not smart enough, benevolent enough or motivated enough to change until it was a case of change or die.
At the time I got sober, I was practicing my addiction through risky sexual relationships, anorexia, drinking and drug abuse and cutting. I was on the fast track towards death. But it took a long period of such obviously disordered behavior before I admitted I was out of control and needed to change. Denial much?
When I first got sober, I was neither willing nor "ready" but I sure needed it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 645
I truly believe the key is taking action and doing the work. I can want something. I can need something. I can be ready for something. None of those things take me beyond my feelings, thoughts and desires. What is needed is action, action and more action.
Susan
Susan
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Mt
Posts: 298
Change for me was the fact the alcohol become my master. It has taken everything from me. It was then after the last thing, that I had to offer it. My life. So wanting change became a need to change! If I wanted to continue my time here on earth. I really was at the point that not being here would have been Ok too. The will to live is a very ingrained instinct, but alcohol has the power to numb that instinct. I had to become extremely proactive to safe my life. I have 40 days today and each one has been a interactive surrender to my God/Bodhisattva. Through out space and time.
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