I'm new here.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Southeast Arizona
Posts: 31
I'm new here.
Hello. I am new here and just wanted to introduce myself. I have been following this forum for about a week now and am truly impressed with the maturity and thoughtful nature of the posts I have read. I recently registered and now want to participate.
I am a retired scientist and live in the rural Sonoran desert. I am in my mid-70's and until about 1 1/2 years ago, had been sober for over 30 years. I quit drinking the first time because I felt that my drinking was getting out of control and because my brother, mother, father, and 2 out of 4 grandparents were alcoholics. Family gatherings were just occasions to drink so I opted out of them; much to to my benefit but also much to the disapproval of the family.
I started drinking again about year and a half ago: a few days ago, I decided to quit again. I started again after my wife was diagnosed with a progressive and ultimately fatal lung disease. She had never smoked in her life. Drinking gave us some quiet time together and something to share. We started out by sharing, equally, a bottle of wine per day. However, before I quit a few days back, I had increased to drinking the better part of a bottle by myself and found myself wishing for more. I seldom had hangovers and only drank in the late afternoon. But, I drank every afternoon regardless of what other plans were brewing.
Since I started again, I have tried to persuade myself that I am just a social drinker and I know that my family sees me that way. But, when I am honest with myself, I know that I am not "just a social drinker" and that I could easily start down the slippery slope of alcoholism. It is just too easy for me to have that "one more drink" and still want another. I have decided that it is easier and simpler to abstain than it is to try to manage a compulsion.
About eight months ago, my wife received a double lung transplant and is nearly her old self again. We are now happily re-assembling our old life. To me, quitting alcohol is an important part of that effort.
So, here I am, four days without a drink, not missing it too terribly but worried that I could go off the rails quite easily. Reading posts by others in my predicament, or worse, has really firmed up my resolve.
I have already gained a lot of support from this forum and I thank you for being here.
I am a retired scientist and live in the rural Sonoran desert. I am in my mid-70's and until about 1 1/2 years ago, had been sober for over 30 years. I quit drinking the first time because I felt that my drinking was getting out of control and because my brother, mother, father, and 2 out of 4 grandparents were alcoholics. Family gatherings were just occasions to drink so I opted out of them; much to to my benefit but also much to the disapproval of the family.
I started drinking again about year and a half ago: a few days ago, I decided to quit again. I started again after my wife was diagnosed with a progressive and ultimately fatal lung disease. She had never smoked in her life. Drinking gave us some quiet time together and something to share. We started out by sharing, equally, a bottle of wine per day. However, before I quit a few days back, I had increased to drinking the better part of a bottle by myself and found myself wishing for more. I seldom had hangovers and only drank in the late afternoon. But, I drank every afternoon regardless of what other plans were brewing.
Since I started again, I have tried to persuade myself that I am just a social drinker and I know that my family sees me that way. But, when I am honest with myself, I know that I am not "just a social drinker" and that I could easily start down the slippery slope of alcoholism. It is just too easy for me to have that "one more drink" and still want another. I have decided that it is easier and simpler to abstain than it is to try to manage a compulsion.
About eight months ago, my wife received a double lung transplant and is nearly her old self again. We are now happily re-assembling our old life. To me, quitting alcohol is an important part of that effort.
So, here I am, four days without a drink, not missing it too terribly but worried that I could go off the rails quite easily. Reading posts by others in my predicament, or worse, has really firmed up my resolve.
I have already gained a lot of support from this forum and I thank you for being here.
Last edited by Pachystima; 06-09-2011 at 10:31 AM. Reason: Clarification
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
Welcome! My husband and I were drinking every night too. He managed to stay pretty moderate but the drinking really progressed for me so now we can't have it in the house at all. I would like to say I don't miss it but I still have the crazy alcoholic thoughts that maybe now after almost 30 days I could drink like a normal person. I go back and forth in my mind and literally feel like I'm arguing with myself some days. It can be exhausting.
Hope you and your wife stay healthy and happy for many years. What a trooper she must be!
Hope you and your wife stay healthy and happy for many years. What a trooper she must be!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Eastern North Carolina
Posts: 86
day 9 sober here after 33 years on the stuff.
i cannot say how much i am glad that you are able to see things clearly. i have been going to AA and i have an awesome support group intermixed with the program and different meetings. i'm not saying that AA is for you, but in AA i have seen people resent those that stop drinking that weren't at death's door. i try and remain as objective about it as possible.
one does not have to have been so bad off that they where drinking paint thinner in hopes for a buzz. anyone with the desire to stop drinking deserves empathy from one that understands the affliction.
i am very glad to hear that your wife has better health! God bless both of you and i have to admit i am little jeolous. you live in one of the most beautiful places on the entire planet. i lived in durango colorado for a spell and love it out west.
my daughter is a little over 2 years old and it is just she and myself (the mother has problems). i want to take my little girl to the southwest when she is around 11. i am 46 now, so i might have to say i am too tired to return to the east coast.
thank you for coming here and i look forward to reading your posts.
i cannot say how much i am glad that you are able to see things clearly. i have been going to AA and i have an awesome support group intermixed with the program and different meetings. i'm not saying that AA is for you, but in AA i have seen people resent those that stop drinking that weren't at death's door. i try and remain as objective about it as possible.
one does not have to have been so bad off that they where drinking paint thinner in hopes for a buzz. anyone with the desire to stop drinking deserves empathy from one that understands the affliction.
i am very glad to hear that your wife has better health! God bless both of you and i have to admit i am little jeolous. you live in one of the most beautiful places on the entire planet. i lived in durango colorado for a spell and love it out west.
my daughter is a little over 2 years old and it is just she and myself (the mother has problems). i want to take my little girl to the southwest when she is around 11. i am 46 now, so i might have to say i am too tired to return to the east coast.
thank you for coming here and i look forward to reading your posts.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Welcome pachystima!
"Easier to abstain than to try to manage a compulsion" - how wise of you. That's the point I had reached, too - but I allowed so much destruction & chaos in my life before surrendering.
It's wonderful to have you here with us. I've always been impressed with the quality of the help I've been given - from all over the world. The love and concern is very comforting.
Congratulations on the many years of sobriety you enjoyed. You can do it again.
"Easier to abstain than to try to manage a compulsion" - how wise of you. That's the point I had reached, too - but I allowed so much destruction & chaos in my life before surrendering.
It's wonderful to have you here with us. I've always been impressed with the quality of the help I've been given - from all over the world. The love and concern is very comforting.
Congratulations on the many years of sobriety you enjoyed. You can do it again.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Welcome Pachystima! I'm so happy to hear your wife is recovering from her surgery. You are truly blessed. You'll find loads of support for yourself here. It's a great support system.
Best Wishes To You!
Best Wishes To You!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 400
Welcome, Pachystima! I am new here too and I can relate to your post. I was drinking about a bottle of wine almost every night too. Nobody EVER would think I had a problem but in my own heart, I new I wasn't happy with what I had become. I got tired of the obsessive/compulsive thinking about drinking/quitting. I have been set free from that just by giving up the nightly drink.
It sounds like you and your wife are at the beginning of a beautiful new path with her health and an alcohol-free life.
It sounds like you and your wife are at the beginning of a beautiful new path with her health and an alcohol-free life.
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