HP looking out for me
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
HP looking out for me
As the parent of an addict who is currently homeless, my biggest fear is having the police show up to let me know that my son is dead. It's not a fear that festers and is there all the time. I don't think about it constantly--I know it is not something I control. But the fear is there. It was the police showing up at my mother's door to inform us when my dad was killed in an accident so there's a fairly recent bit of past experience with this type of thing. It's perhaps an irrational fear and I don't let it dominate my thought process. But it's there.
Today, I decided to take a day off work. I've been working 6-7 days/week and I decided to take a "me" day today.
The police showed up at my business looking for me. I wasn't there.
If the police had come in looking for me and I WAS there, the first thing that would have gone through my mind is.....my son is dead.....and I think that I might have passed out or flipped out or something before they could get the words out that they were simply looking for him.
My HP was looking out for me. I didn't have to face that drama today. Instead, my right hand man handled it beautifully.....he called my husband and my dear husband was the one to let me know that I would be getting a call from the police.
They are looking for my son and someone told them where they could find us, his parents. Great. He is a suspect in a burglary.
They asked if I knew where he is.....and I don't. They asked for his phone number.....and I gave it to them. I wasn't going to cover up or lie for him. Period. I don't know if he was involved. I'm going to just let the chips fall where they will and leave it in God's hands.
Today I am grateful for my HP. He knows what I can handle and what I might need a little help with. I truly think this was a touch of God's grace today. It was a little thing but I'm sure I would have been pretty shaken up had I been there when the police walked in. Instead I was able to handle the questions with dignity, honesty, and without fear.
gentle hugs
ke
Today, I decided to take a day off work. I've been working 6-7 days/week and I decided to take a "me" day today.
The police showed up at my business looking for me. I wasn't there.
If the police had come in looking for me and I WAS there, the first thing that would have gone through my mind is.....my son is dead.....and I think that I might have passed out or flipped out or something before they could get the words out that they were simply looking for him.
My HP was looking out for me. I didn't have to face that drama today. Instead, my right hand man handled it beautifully.....he called my husband and my dear husband was the one to let me know that I would be getting a call from the police.
They are looking for my son and someone told them where they could find us, his parents. Great. He is a suspect in a burglary.
They asked if I knew where he is.....and I don't. They asked for his phone number.....and I gave it to them. I wasn't going to cover up or lie for him. Period. I don't know if he was involved. I'm going to just let the chips fall where they will and leave it in God's hands.
Today I am grateful for my HP. He knows what I can handle and what I might need a little help with. I truly think this was a touch of God's grace today. It was a little thing but I'm sure I would have been pretty shaken up had I been there when the police walked in. Instead I was able to handle the questions with dignity, honesty, and without fear.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 112
KE,
It's happened to us where we've been awakening at 3am by the police knocking on our door looking for our daughter. Other times it's been a call from a hospital and just seeing the name on the caller ID... it feels like a storm whips up inside me. I know the fear you speak of and I'm so glad you were able to elude it this time. God is good.
It's happened to us where we've been awakening at 3am by the police knocking on our door looking for our daughter. Other times it's been a call from a hospital and just seeing the name on the caller ID... it feels like a storm whips up inside me. I know the fear you speak of and I'm so glad you were able to elude it this time. God is good.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The South
Posts: 105
KE,
I wrestle with this fear also. Several years ago, I came home and there were police cars and fire trucks everywhere. They had even broken a window trying to get inside as I drove up. My AD had called her psychiatrist and he called the police. He thought she was suicidal. Mr. Habit jumped into his car and searched for her. As it turned out, she was ok.
Many times, I thought??? I heard the door bell ring in the middle of the night. I would jump out of bed expecting to see a policeman at the door.
I am thankful that God spared you the drama.
God is ever faithful to give us Grace in our time of need.
Hugs.
I wrestle with this fear also. Several years ago, I came home and there were police cars and fire trucks everywhere. They had even broken a window trying to get inside as I drove up. My AD had called her psychiatrist and he called the police. He thought she was suicidal. Mr. Habit jumped into his car and searched for her. As it turned out, she was ok.
Many times, I thought??? I heard the door bell ring in the middle of the night. I would jump out of bed expecting to see a policeman at the door.
I am thankful that God spared you the drama.
God is ever faithful to give us Grace in our time of need.
Hugs.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
KE,
What a beautiful example of how HP is gently holding us....You were protected and you also had a "me" day off.
I think that it is pretty natural to harbor those deep down fears no matter how strong a program that we work...especially when it has to do with a child.
I remember my mother in law talking about what she went through one year when my husband had disappeared and lived in a crack house. He was gone a year - no contact, no cell phone, no nothing. It was Alanon that saved her. I can't begin to imagine what it is like.
I agree with you on not protecting anyone. My oldest son is caught up with marijuana and I've told him that he is on his own legally with this.
Just wanted to say hello and thank you for sharing this powerful story!
Donna
What a beautiful example of how HP is gently holding us....You were protected and you also had a "me" day off.
I think that it is pretty natural to harbor those deep down fears no matter how strong a program that we work...especially when it has to do with a child.
I remember my mother in law talking about what she went through one year when my husband had disappeared and lived in a crack house. He was gone a year - no contact, no cell phone, no nothing. It was Alanon that saved her. I can't begin to imagine what it is like.
I agree with you on not protecting anyone. My oldest son is caught up with marijuana and I've told him that he is on his own legally with this.
Just wanted to say hello and thank you for sharing this powerful story!
Donna
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Keeping your boy in my prayers, Kindeyes.
Sometimes it's times like this where we see the strangely wrapped gifts. This may be just what you boy needs to go to jail and find a better path. Or it may be a teaching to you that HP always takes care of us if we let Him. Or it may just be a day where you lived in the joy and let others deal with the drama.
However this unfolds, I am certain there is a strangely wrapped gift in there somewhere.
Hugs
Sometimes it's times like this where we see the strangely wrapped gifts. This may be just what you boy needs to go to jail and find a better path. Or it may be a teaching to you that HP always takes care of us if we let Him. Or it may just be a day where you lived in the joy and let others deal with the drama.
However this unfolds, I am certain there is a strangely wrapped gift in there somewhere.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Eastern Time Zone
Posts: 1,011
Well done thou good and faithful servant.
I have those fears myself. I've had the police at my door at 3 AM because his car was seen at the scene of a crime, and the plates were registered to this address.
My son and his girlfriend are unknowingly doing the Bill W.-Lois thing with the adventure of camping because they have no where else to stay. They live in my town which means the chances of more episodes of police knocking on my door is probable.
I am not married, and my two other sons lives far, far away. I have already in my mind gone through the list of male relatives I could call in the middle of the night to accompany me to the morgue to identify my son should that happen. I just could not do that alone.
When and if our sons find long-term recovery, I think it will be YEARS before they realize what their family went through even in minimal-contact or no-contact situations.
((((Kindeyes))))
I have those fears myself. I've had the police at my door at 3 AM because his car was seen at the scene of a crime, and the plates were registered to this address.
My son and his girlfriend are unknowingly doing the Bill W.-Lois thing with the adventure of camping because they have no where else to stay. They live in my town which means the chances of more episodes of police knocking on my door is probable.
I am not married, and my two other sons lives far, far away. I have already in my mind gone through the list of male relatives I could call in the middle of the night to accompany me to the morgue to identify my son should that happen. I just could not do that alone.
When and if our sons find long-term recovery, I think it will be YEARS before they realize what their family went through even in minimal-contact or no-contact situations.
((((Kindeyes))))
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
I've been there too KE.
The last time they too wanted to question AS. I gave them his number, and called him to let him know they were looking for him.
As it turned out, he had nothing to do with the investigation. They were given his name due to the fact that he had recently been released from jail.
Prayers and good thoughts continuing for you and your family
(((Hugs)))
The last time they too wanted to question AS. I gave them his number, and called him to let him know they were looking for him.
As it turned out, he had nothing to do with the investigation. They were given his name due to the fact that he had recently been released from jail.
Prayers and good thoughts continuing for you and your family
(((Hugs)))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
I am so sorry that so many here on SR understand this from their own personal experience. Thank you all for your support. So many of you have experienced that PAAAANNNG and all the blood draining out the bottoms of your feet when the police show up. I'm so grateful that I didn't have to experience that feeling yesterday.
The story that the police officer gave me is that a home was burglarized and the victim named a suspect. The suspect, of course, denied that he was involved but named my son and a girl he was with at the house (a party perhaps?) as the logical perpetrators. Evidently the original suspect knows that we own a business in town and that's how the police officer knew where to find us.
So the only thing that leaves me with any residual feelings on this is that many other drug addicts and/or criminals who my son associates with know where my business is. And if my son does them wrong, they know where to find us. Paranoia is creeping in.
I'm sure glad that I have meetings the next two nights in a row--Alanon tonight and Naranon tomorrow night. And lots of reading in between!
I need to keep reminding myself that there is no useful purpose in fearing that which I have no control of......or the fear begins to control me. Let go and let God.
gentle hugs
ke
The story that the police officer gave me is that a home was burglarized and the victim named a suspect. The suspect, of course, denied that he was involved but named my son and a girl he was with at the house (a party perhaps?) as the logical perpetrators. Evidently the original suspect knows that we own a business in town and that's how the police officer knew where to find us.
So the only thing that leaves me with any residual feelings on this is that many other drug addicts and/or criminals who my son associates with know where my business is. And if my son does them wrong, they know where to find us. Paranoia is creeping in.
I'm sure glad that I have meetings the next two nights in a row--Alanon tonight and Naranon tomorrow night. And lots of reading in between!
I need to keep reminding myself that there is no useful purpose in fearing that which I have no control of......or the fear begins to control me. Let go and let God.
gentle hugs
ke
Yankee
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 183
Kindeyes,
I am indeed glad that you were not there at work when they showed up to talk to you. It sounds like you are holding up as well as can be expected with your HP's help. I hope your son was not the one who was involved and that this gets cleared up.
Being worried about people knowing where you live/work can be uneasy, I know first hand, just take any precautions you can and be aware of your surroundings.
Stay strong Sister!
I am indeed glad that you were not there at work when they showed up to talk to you. It sounds like you are holding up as well as can be expected with your HP's help. I hope your son was not the one who was involved and that this gets cleared up.
Being worried about people knowing where you live/work can be uneasy, I know first hand, just take any precautions you can and be aware of your surroundings.
Stay strong Sister!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The South
Posts: 105
Five years ago, my AD told me that if Mr. Habit and I went to the police that her drug dealer and his band of brothers would kill Mr. Habit and me. We did go to the police. (Only because we thought he had her with him and she was in harm's way). Eventually, her drug dealer was arrested. And, she went into rehab. And, we are still alive!
However, we upgraded our security system. I even had the phone company come out and install the phone wires inside our basement so they could not be cut from outside our home.
"Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. And, lo, no one was there."
(((KE)))
However, we upgraded our security system. I even had the phone company come out and install the phone wires inside our basement so they could not be cut from outside our home.
"Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. And, lo, no one was there."
(((KE)))
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: WA
Posts: 124
Uggh...
Had deputies knock on our door early in the morning looking for our daughter on a felony warrant. I know that first shock to the system when you see it's the police and you know your kiddo is living a dangerous life.
I'm glad you didn't have to endure that at work...second-hand is bad enough.
Had deputies knock on our door early in the morning looking for our daughter on a felony warrant. I know that first shock to the system when you see it's the police and you know your kiddo is living a dangerous life.
I'm glad you didn't have to endure that at work...second-hand is bad enough.
it is what it is
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Griffin GA
Posts: 454
Kindeyes - what a powerful testiment to faith and the awesome protection our God provides us - i know too well the desparate feeling of seeing the police coming or the phone ringing in the night - my son has repeatedly said that being arrested the last time saved his life - and it also gave me a time of peace from these fears but you are right even if our loved one is still out there we cannot do anything about their decisions so resting in peaceful faith is a blessing for all - you and your son remain in my prayers
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 134
so sorry you had to endure, yet isn't it amazing how our HP knows just what we can handle or not? In my case one of my worst fears would be to see my AS on the news. Whenever he was out of the house I flinched at sirens, and was hesitant to turn the news on. As it turned out he was the lead story one evening. When he was arrested and the story ran they did not release his name or picture. I remember catching the tail end of the story as the police led him away in handcuffs, he had a hoodie pulled over his face. I remember thinking to myself "My God that could be %^&#" but I dismissed the thought and went about my evening. He had been gone for two weeks at the time and I had convinced myself that he had left the area. The next night I was on my computer and had skipped the news (i usually watch while making dinner and this night was a pizza night since my husband was out of town). I received a phone call from a close friend, she asked how I was doing and I guess I answered in too chipper of a tone because she immediately said "Oh honey, you don't know" to which I nervously replied "What??" and when she said the name of the pharmacy that was on the news I knew ... I then remembered the story from the night before and said "It was him wasn't it?" She said Yes, and told me that they released his full name and mug shot. I was able to visit him that very evening. He was a mess, strung out and in the middle of detoxing as he sat in jail. this particular city jail is really old and nasty too. There were many tears, and prayers and three days later he finally submitted to his HP and was full of peace. The whole time he was incarcerated was 18 months and God richly blessed him through it. I think it was harder on me than on him. He relapsed recently and we are dealing with it. God has never left me for a moment. I am convinced that it was divine intervention that prevented me from turning the news on to see his mug shot. May be a little thing to others but it was huge for me. After about 15 months I finally got the courage to google his name and see the story and his picture. Wasn't so bad ... ha, have been through so much since then.... Ahh I am weary but I know that my HP is with me always, he goes before me and after me ....I'm glad you have Him too
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Tinks65
I understand this completely. It may seem like a little thing to anybody else....but it was huge to me too.
gentle hugs
ke
May be a little thing to others but it was huge for me.
gentle hugs
ke
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Originally Posted by Kindeyes 
So the only thing that leaves me with any residual feelings on this is that many other drug addicts and/or criminals who my son associates with know where my business is. And if my son does them wrong, they know where to find us. Paranoia is creeping in.
I hope peace returns soon!
Hugs, HG
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