Wife2anaddict

I've seen so many of you recommend that the A go to a sober living facility after getting released from rehab. Me and AH both support this, but I guess I am wondering why. In my case, my AH is willing to go, and has it lined up, but I am having a hard time understanding the reason. He appears very committed, as am I, in our separate recoveries. I know he just got out. He's talking a pretty good game right now. The SLE is an additional $100 a week and the only opening is at a place that is not totally structured. It's just really a 3 bedroom house w/ other long term A's. Which is fine with both of us, but I guess I am thinking, if he's that committed, does it really matter where he stays? He has already secured a spot in this house, but I get worried about our children wondering why daddy is living somewhere else when they want him here so badly? There's no real rules, other than clean up after yourself and stay clean. He will get kicked out if he's using. We both will do whatever it takes for the both of us separately, and I definitely want to "watch" his behaviors. How do I determine if/when he can come to our home to visit without making it seem all scheduled and rule-driven?

hello-kitty

SLE is one more component of an effective recovery program, just like meetings, etc etc. Just because he gets out of rehab doesn't mean he's recovered ~ he still has lots of work to do and it can be extremely helpful to do that work in a transitional environment primarily focused on recovery.

It's just like when some people released from the trauma care provided in a hospital into a long-term or short-term care facility before they go home and start leading life on their own - the care facility provides them with more time and additional help to prepare them for life on the "outside". The more time spent in a recovery focused environment (whether thats drug rehab or physical rehab) the better prepared someone is to deal with situations in the "real world".

It's a choice that's helped many people achieve success in their recovery programs. How wonderful your husband has the opportunity to take advantage of an SLE.

EJG123

Being released from rehab affords tha addict the freedom to relapse or continue recovery. Being in a sober living facility rather than at home, means that loved ones don't have to have a front row seat if a relapse happens.

Freedom1990

I think it's great when someone is able to utilize the benefits of an SLE.

I didn't have that luxury. When I got out of rehab, I was the single mother of an 8-year-old. I was on foot, looking for jobs every day, and landed a full-time CNA position within a week.

A month later my daughter and I had our own place (I was staying with my old counselor from rehab and her RAH).

Is it possible to stay sober without experiencing an SLE? Of course...I am living proof.

My question to you is, what is the underlying emotion for you with him choosing SLE over coming home immediately?

It helps me to identify what I am feeling, and work from there.

Wife2anaddict

Well to be honest, it was my decision all along for him to go to sle once released. His facility did not think it was necessary. I think he's just doing it bc I said initially that he couldn't come back home. I know that it's the right thing to do, I'm just having a hard time backing up my requests with any valuable supporting evidence. He is obsessed w recovery right now which makes me very hAppy for him. I really just wAnt to do what's right although I'd be lying if I said I wasn't feeling a weakness for him after seeing him in such a remarkable place spiritually, emotionally and physically. I
I am proud of him.

lightseeker

I think that one of the benefits that it allows some space while the early days of recovery are occurring. My husband was in a recovery group where one of the guys had to go live with his mom for awhile because he and his wife kept bumping into issues and it was causing a lack of issues. By the way, he ended up moving back home and everything worked out well. I don't think that it would have ended up so well if they had shared the same living space initially.

Kids are pretty resilient if you explain things to them. I know you miss him and maybe this is the way to begin a new beginning between you. I know that it s nice to have some follow through before actually putting your life and your home on the line.

Just my thoughts. I know this is difficult but you are smart to be working your own recovery!

greeteachday

Sometimes when our loved ones are experiencing that pink cloud in the early stages of recovery, it becomes hard to remember that this is not about what feels good at the moment, it is truly a matter of life and death. Any opportunity for an addict to have a chance to build more recovery time in a safe and sober environment with the support network he or she needs, to me is a win win for everyone.

I lost my child when she went back out one night while she was waiting to get into a SLE...It took one time...just one. I am not saying everything would be fine if she had been able to get right into an SLE, but I sure do advocate giving our addicted loved ones every chance to live and work a recovery program.