pixilation

The "perfect" apartment I was sure I had? Well, rather than you know..CALL me when the background check came back fine(which I knew it would) the landlord rented the apartment to someone else. And I can't find anything else that will work. I NEED a garden level apartment, 3yo is an escape artist, and I can totally see him trying to climb over the railing on a balcony. Plus, really, who wants a 3yo above them anyway?

And Ah drove while in blackout again this weekend, this time he swears he didn't take Ambien while drinking too, so I don't know anymore. I'm tired of living here, and I am so upset right now that I can't find anything.

outonalimb

(((((((((pixilation)))))))))

Not OT at all...

I"m sorry the apartment fell through. That just means there must be something else out there...something BETTER... Don't give up...You'll find the right place...it's out there.

As for the AH in black-out mode...have you talked to a lawyer about your situation?
If something tragic happens while your AH is driving, you could be saddled with the fall-out legally and financially for years to come. Not trying to sound like an alarmist but as long as he is still your "H", you are in peril over these things.

THat's what finally gave me the impetus to file against my AH...fear of the legal and financial consequences of his out-of-control drug and alcohol abuse.

Sending positive vibes your way.
Try not to get down...because once you get out on your own, you're gonna be absolutely AMAZED at how quicly things can turn around for you....

Hang tough...

Mary

pixilation

I tried legal aid, can't do legal aid while I'm married, because he makes too much. How's that for messed up? and I can afford to either move out or file for divorce, not both.

suki44883

Use your money to move out. You can file for divorce later. Look for another apartment. There are many out there. Don't give up just because the "perfect" one isn't available. New apartments are advertised every day. Keep looking.

Tuffgirl

Hang in there, Pixilation. Keep moving forward and keep your resolve firmly in place. Something will open up. Things happen for a reason. I remember a story someone told me long ago about how they got evicted from an apartment after their roommate bailed and they couldn't make rent. It was horribly embarrassing to have to move out like that. One month after moving out, the apartment building burned to the ground. Coincidence? Hhhmmm...

It's hard to separate oneself from the financial responsibility while married, but can you have your own insurance policy in case the driving while intoxicated becomes a legal problem for you?

Hugs and prayers...stay strong!
~T

pixilation

I know, I figured that moving out was more important. I scour the classifieds and craigslist every day looking, and have since May. I've called several apartments, been stood up a few times when I go to see the apartment too. I had no idea the rental scene in my area was like this, since I haven't rented an apartment for 10+years.

suki44883

Can you broaden your search area a bit? Maybe something the same distance from work, but coming from the other direction? That would put you twice as far from him and no farther from your job. Or, even consider moving a little farther away. The broader your criteria, the more options you'll have.

MyBetterWorld

I can't rely comment too much......this thread triggers me in a bad way.....sounds so familiar and brings back that BBAAADDDD feeling.
I just wanted you to know that I am crossing my fingers for you.
M

pixilation

I need to be in a specific school district, which is one thing that is limiting me. I already have the teenager enrolled in the school district(attending summer school) so that's why I would prefer to stay in that district. And I can't move across state lines, at least not until after the divorce is final, there's a state statute that says AH can get temporary full custody if I take the kids over state lines to live without his knowledge.

Living closer to work isn't an issue, as all the apartments down that way are way out of my price range(think 8-1000 a month for a 2 bedroom) Moving into "town" is already going to save me plenty of gas, as I currently drive about 50miles round trip to go to work anyway.

I did post another 'apartment wanted' listing on craigslist, let's see if I get any hits this time.

barb dwyer

just a and remember it's only monday.

laurie6781

Okay. May I suggest that there is a lot more than just the daily 'classifieds' and Craigs List.

Check your local 'free papers' be they American Classified or something else. Do not just look at apartments, look at Mobile Home Rentals. No they may not be 'upper class' but this is only temporary. Many times they have MORE ROOMS, more square footage and much CHEAPER rents than an apartment. Many are on their own 'plot of land', etc.

You are not looking for your 'final' home, but for a 'temporary' living place right now.

Yes, get the home first, and then worry about finding an attorney.

I know Mobile Homes in some areas still carry a 'stigma', however in a pinch, and the cost compared to a site built home or a fancy apartment are MUCH CHEAPER.

Keep searching, including Google. Type in Mobile Home rentals, and list your City and State. You might be amazed at what you find.

The newer ones are now called "Manufactured Homes" as there is no way they are 'mobile.' roflmao

Who knows, you may even find one with a fenced yard, which would allow you to put up some 'outside' toys for your child and he would be 'safe' in his own fenced yard.

Also I remember you have a cat, and those that rent out 'mobile homes', well many are much more agreeable to having a pet or two and many do not waste time doing a credit check, they go on their 'gut instinct.'

Just some 'alternatives' for you to consider.

When we 'broaden' our parameters, some great things can come to pass.

Love and hugs,

pixilation

Oh, I have been looking at everything, I haven't seen any mobile home rentals in months. I'm totally open to living in one too. The free papers in town don't list apartment rentals.

Too bad my mom isn't moving from her mobile home yet(for another year) I'd rent hers from her.

Oh, and yes, I would've called the sheriff's if I had known he was out driving.I went to sleep around 11pm Saturday, woke up at 6:45, and that's when i discovered him in the car. I AM going to be getting my own insurance and dropping the van and myself from the other plan.

LaTeeDa

A few ideas that came to me:

Take a different route to work and look for For Rent signs along the way.
Go out for a drive and look for For Rent signs.
Ask around at work.
Look at the bulletin boards in local stores.
If you go to Alanon, ask around at meetings.

Sometimes if something isn't working, you have to try something else. At least that's been my experience. It will happen, as long as you keep trying.

L

Tuffgirl

Pix, one other thing to consider if absolutely necessary...you may be able to apply for a school district waiver. My older has been on one for 3 years. We have finally moved into the district. The downside is that I have to be responsible for transportation. However, that allowed us to be creative with our choices.

Something to tuck in your back pocket.

laurie6781

Many times Mobile Homes for rent, are listed under "Homes" for rent.

Also in doing a google, type in 'Homes for Rent' then City and State.

LaTeeDa also has some great suggestions. Many times, folks do NOT put an add in and just put out a sign in front of the house, or on poles in the neighborhood and on bulletin boards in the surrounding grocery stores.

Love and hugs,

pixilation

I can do that here too, the school district thing, but with the full time jobs I'm looking at, with the job starting at 8, and having to transport two kids to school and one to daycare or headstart (plus school doesn't start around here until 8:30/8:45), I just don't see it realistically happening.

I am looking at another place tomorrow. Bad thing is no dishwasher, which is rare around here. I'm calling about two more in the morning.

MeredithD1

You are in such an ardent pursuit! And therefore, it will happen for you!

pixilation

Well, the apartment today is a "last resort" type of apartment. I'll go back to it if I have to, but well, it was small, had a weird odor, and hadn't been well maintained at all(the door had SCREWS in it to keep it together) plus a 12 month lease, so I'd be stuck there for awhile. I am looking at another one tomorrow, this one I got the number from a sign out front(see, I've been doing that too!).

Thumper

Something will turn up :xfingers: that it happens sooner rather then later.

I remember clearly the feeling I had when looking for rentals. I was not in a good place. I did a drastic thing and moved to an area I could better afford and get decent cost of living. I can take my job with me so I know I'm very lucky to have even had that option. The kids were not happy but I also felt the move would benefit our family in the long run so it wasn't for housing alone.

I didn't see this mentioned but where I live - the realtors often maintain long lists of rentals. You might call a couple of realtor agencies to see if that is common in your area. You can also call the city/county housing authority here and get lists (they have it posted on-line actually).

LaPinturaBella

The right one will show up, I just know it. HP does not want you and your kids in this situation a moment longer than has to be. I second the realtor suggestion. Also look into houses for rent...with the real estate market the way it currently is, lots of people are renting their houses rather than face foreclosure.