feelhelpless

New to the board here. My 32 year old son is a heroin addict. He's been in a couple of rehabs but mom, always trying to fix things helped him get on methadone program. He's been using at the same time, on and off. Now his dr retired and no more methadone so he is now using. We are moving next month and told him he can't come with us. Feeling scared and guilty but I know I have to let him go his way.

Mark75

Maybe that's just what he needs... tho I am sure it's hard...

Welcome to SR

FNB3

I'm really sorry and I can't imagine how you feel. I'm close in age to your son and it wasn't until I had kids of my own that I realized how much I put my parents through. I could never imagine my kids going through that and putting me through what I did to mine.

As scary as it sounds, I try to let natural consequences reign supreme in my parenting, and I try my best to try not to protect them from life. Have faith that any efforts to controll outcomes for them are too often just a temporary fix and keep them from maturity and growth for a longer time.

I took full advantage of my scared parents and it allowed me to use much longer than I should have. You position is such a difficult one and I really hope you can find the strength to do what's required.

You may want to check out the al-anon section of this forum. Good stuff there.

least

Here's the forum mentioned. Do take a look at it and post your questions. Lots of experience and good advice there. Welcome to SR.

Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

saphira

You are in a very tough situation, and although it is hard to hear, it really is up to your son to do this. I think one of the hardest things to feel as a parent is helplessness-- you always want to help and "fix" your children. Sometimes it's harder to realize you can't and that you have to let them reach the conclusion themselves. I know I had to. Best of luck to you and your son!

Dee74

Welcome Helpless
I'm sorry for your situation - I know it's an impossible choice.

I'm glad you're looking after yourself tho, and I really hope that your son will rise to the challenge and sort himself out

best wishes to you all

D

fromdallas

He has been to rehab, he is fully educated and has the tools to overcome his addiction. In the end, staying and keeping clean is an inside job. You have done all you could for him, now what really matters is how he decides to use those tools- that will or will not come from him and only him. Take care of yourself, you are the only person you have full control over- full, so use that and stay strong. I am not joking when I say this- meetings really help, a lot. A LOT. Stay strong, and pray for him. That’s all you can do. Keep us posted, I want to hear from you again.