Road2NoWhere

Recently split from my girlfriend and relapsed from my recovery..she was in another recovery program, and was my support system..now she's gone I feel lost and without support..I don't want to stay this way, please help with any advice, support possible.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I'm glad you found us.

You'll find lots of support here.

Opivotal

I would suggest finding a new support system and getting back into recovery. Life happens, we have to deal with it. Drinking will get you nowhere but on that pity party road with a hangover. Believe me, I've been there. Your better than that. I wouldn't wait Road, I'd start today. Check out a meeting, seek counseling, just do something to help yourself.


Best Wishes To You!

Mida

Someone on SR recently posted something like "there is not problem so bad that drinking doesn't make worse" (Rusty Zipper, I think)...this came to mind instantly as I read your post. Yes, these things in life really suck, but going through them drunk/high/hungover will magnify them because then you won't just be upset at the breakup but also at yourself. And this is definitely the time to be kind to yourself, find support, develop a recovery plan, and take care of YOU.

All of us have had to get past lost relationships so we all know how painful it is, but you really can grow from this and come out better in the end even if right now it doesn't feel like it.

Take care and best of luck on your journey

Zebra1275

Having another person as a support system is tricky, it's better to rely on a higher power.

saphira

I've had things happen in early sobriety as well that drove me back to drinking. That is definitely the easiest way to handle it in that moment, but nothing good comes of it. Even though you're in pain from losing your girlfriend and support system, stay sober and keep the respect you have for yourself.

1undone

Not sure why your girlfirend would have been your only form of support. You didn't give us a lot of info. so I'm not sure what to say. That would be way too much pressure for me in a relationship - knowing I'm your only suport?

On the web you can look up local AA meetings, I'm sure there is one every day or night for most anyone anywhere. As others have mentioned you have to have a plan for support and it can't be one person. Not sure what else to say as like I said I don't know much.

Pigtails

I'm sorry to hear about the break up and I can relate. Not only am I not drinking for the first time ever but I am single for the first time ever after ending a very bad-for-me relationship. It feels so lonely and hard but I know I need to learn how to rely on only myself and be happy on my own. I haven't even thought of trying AA because I don't believe in any kind of higher power, well except for maybe the magical mystery of even being here at all... like, the universe and fate and stuff, but not a God or gods.

I do appreciate certain aspects of Buddhism and one of the biggest things I've learned from that is that all we have in this world is ourselves. If we become too attached to other people or to things, we will suffer, because everything else is impermanent and lets us down intentionally or unintentionally. We need to be happy from within with ourselves. So I don't have a higher power than myself but I've been learning it's very very hard to rely on oneself but we have to, because relationships end and circumstances change and in the end we really only do have ourselves (and your higher power if you have one). I don't know if I'm helping, my point is that even though this is really hard maybe you can learn from it and find strength from within and/or from a higher power as others have suggested. I can relate and I wish you the best.

Dee74

Welcome road2

I learned the hard way recovery needs to be an internal deal....it has to be your journey or it makes no sense....

I can't rely on other people to be my support - I need to do this for myself.

Find a new support system - whether it's AA or NA or SMART or whatever - and plug yourself in

Welcome aboard

D

artsoul

Welcome! I like your name, Road2Nowhere..... that pretty much sums up my drinking. We can't take the place of your girlfriend, but we'll support you as you try to get sober again.

Stick around and keep posting!

reggiewayne

I would suggest AA - have you ever been?

MsCooterBrown

The part I like is where you stay drunk for the 1st year..anxiety ridden and jumpy..Then you get sober and realize NOTHING is worth THAT! Hang in there..Take it from me. It is alot better dealing with it sober. Somehow..after a little time and sobriety..it becomes clear that NOBODY is worth that. Drinking is a slow death. I understand. I do know you have inner strength. I had to dig around....: almost pulled my guts out but I found it. I wish you well.

citylights

Hi Road: Thanks so much for your post and your honesty. I so relate to what you are saying--I am in the process of coming to terms with the end of a relationship, and I feel so unmoored. But what everyone is saying is right--NO ONE is worth the slow death of alcoholism. i needed your post and everyone's response that a support system is necessary if we're going to achieve sobriety, so thank you and stay strong.